History is calling, Tomas Hermes. Will you answer?
On January 20, 2021, United States President Joseph R. Biden, by the authority vested in him as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, hereby executive ordered to prevent and combat discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation and beautiful.
A gorgeous utopia floating just over the horizon.
We surfers, we wave sliders, know that our governing body, the World Surf League, is one of the wokest in all professional sports and there is a fabulous opportunity for one brave male Qualifying Series middle-dweller to rise up, self-identify as female and qualify for the women’s Championship Tour likely winning the title and becoming a feel-good story along the way.
Six-part documentary series co-starring CEO Erik Logan certainly to follow.
Who should this courageous boy be?
Well, I think Tomas Hermes.
The Brazilian, 30, currently ranked 218 in the world, could firstly become sponsored by Hermès and bring his wax, extra leashes, etc. to the beach in a work-of-art Birkin.
He could then smash all-comers, using experience, a tireless approach to li’l whacks off the lip and extra-helpings of testosterone to vault himself to a historical crown.
Loud cheers, etc.
A wonderful opportunity, don’t you think?
Enlightened?
David Lee Scales and I discussed today alongside my wife Circe Wallace who happens to be a famous agent. She mostly glared as I presented this particular brilliance, but otherwise provided insight and perspective gleaned from over 30 years in the action sporting game.
She will be sharing this knowledge with you as part of a new series (sign up here). In the meantime enjoy the rest of the conversation now or later.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Are you frigging kidding???? This a joke right? Who the f writes this garbage. Dude needs to stay in his lane and not contaminate the WQS You’re a joke.
How can you have a female league if dudes are competing in it.. idc if you’re gay, wear girl clothes, act like a woman… You either have a penis or a vagina… You’re a dude or a chic by science.. stop with this bullshit
The winner should get a weekend at the surf ranch and her female penis fellatiated by kelly and creepy joe biden.
In surfing, is there really an advantage to men? Is not a contact or endurance sport.
I mean I’m hoping this is sarcasm.
Reality is it wouldn’t have to be a ct male to take the female world title, most beaches around here could throw up a contender (a few closet cross dressers too I reckon so maybe a possibility), maybe Shero could chuck a wig on and finally get that winning status over Ding once and for all!
That UFC dudette is probably just a guy that really hates women and found a loophole to beat the shit out of them without going to jail for it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Haven’t listened
And won’t till Party Pete does
But for once your headline makes sense
Maybe you should be that person Chad…
Very good listen.
Much nicer than my mum.
Luke Davis?
You can’t beat nature.
Not even big brained ol Joey B and his freak party.
There is no WQS right now. How will the CT take the trash out at years end?
Emotion is more important than facts in this PC world of ours!
Tomas is here
Since it’s all about playing pretend, why not throw in a LodgeGrit sponsorship deal.
Lodge doesn’t even have money in play pretend.
Boy, play pretend money like Bitcoin would sure come in handy in a moment like this.
Wade Carmichael would look curious in a tight cocktail dress as he loses in round 3 again.
Oh man it’s turning me on CB!
It’s a bit complicated isn’t it?
The woke crowd don’t realise that the end result of the equality they are demanding is no gender categories at all. Extra bonus is this means there’s twice the prize money to go around!
In Aussie Rules this bloke “Hannah” identified as a chick and proceeded to smash every opponent because despite what was between his ears, what was between his legs meant he was about 20 kilos heavier than everyone else on the park.
Why shouldn’t we remove gender categories and just allow men, women, whatever’s to all compete together?
It’s kind of sexist having the categories anyway.
Really, how could Dirk and Natasha refuse? They would have the final say I would imagine.
Do we know for sure that they are not in fact, the same person?
What is your fucking Ziff hardon all about? It’s really weird.
Uhhh, last time I checked, he did ‘own” the Wsl.