Ian Walsh may, or may not, know something.
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. The days of Mariah Carey’s brother Morgan’s upcoming life will be spent in court, suing his rich and famous sister over her recently published memoir, claiming the book falsely suggests he was violent.
This matters to you, to us, because Morgan Carey lives on Maui and so must either surf or be surf-adjacent. Boogie boarding, possibly, or SUPping out beyond Lahina, pilot whales spouting in the distance. He may, or may not, know Ian Walsh or Albee Layer. May, or may not, have eaten a fine meal at Mama’s Fish House with Laird Hamilton.
In any case, the Valley Isle is simply to small, and too surf-infused, for him not to be part of the scene or scene-adjacent, though he is not suing his talented and buxom sister there or in Honolulu but in New York.
Morgan says his reputation has been damaged, that he has suffered extreme mental anguish, because he has been depicted as violent.
Mariah wrote, in the book, that Morgan and their father once got in a fight and it took “12 cops to pull my brother and father apart.” Morgan claims lies and, usually, in a case of domestic violence only 1 or 2 cops would respond.
He is also frustrated by passages in the book that suggest he tried to extort money from Mariah after she became successful and popular.
Both sound extremely Hawaiian.
Very vintage surf.
More as the story develops.
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Well, if he may be a possible Sup-pilot as you say– he’s probably deserving of this mess he’s in.
That’s a shame TSJ don’t want to hear from you, Ben. They’ve been quite receptive to my ideas recently.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe your ideas are just…weird and shit?
Hey!
I resemble that remark!
So Doinhi!
Receptive to your ideas = actually published?
Has Surfers Journal gone phony hipster f###tard?
I only read my stuff.
You can look forward to issue 30.3, Benny.
I did a search in TSJ for “JP Currie” and “Haggis Breath” and “Hipster” and saw nothing.
As for 30.3: I only read my stuff.
Your story is about California?
Nah, California’s over.
Oh yeah, way over.
Nothing to see here:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
LEt’s play, master and servant.
MASTER
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
SERVANT
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Okey dokey Chas
The fact you even considered writing this is and your fascination with competitive surfing is proof you’d be the first option for a transgender (semi) pro…
I’m proofing a 350-page memoir right now and caught rein/reign and thirfty so my typochondriasis is set to “kill.”
“the Valley Isle is simply to small, ” should be “the Valley Isle is simply too small,”
It is proper spelling and grammar that distinguish us from the Mongol races.
Ben there, done that.
You haven’t done this though: https://www.indiegogo.com/p…
Fund you to write a crossword? Hold me back!
Is that the extent of your viable work these days? Seems right.
You really are a top shelf moron. Congratulations at excelling in something.
Unless you’re replying with microphone dictation because you’re lazy. Language evolves mate. Unlike you.
“Your replying” not “You’re replying.”
Geez.
Mate.
Sorry. Microphone diction.
FUNFAKT: Ian Walsh’s famous novel Trainspotting was originally set on Maui and featured local ner’do’wells smoking pineapples and musing about “life is all da kine, l’dat” but was felt too dark for a mainstream audiences particularly as there are no trains on Maui, so it was recast in Scotland.
Albeeeeee Layer’s Dad was became famous in the 1955’s for inventing the ‘Layer Cake’; a baked confection consisting of a stacked melange of various sweet cake flavours, interspersed with icing and sea food. This was later simplified to merely be a stack of sea food and culminated in the legendary all-you-can-eat boiled opihi buffets at Don Ho’s Hawaiian Village People Bar and Restaurant and Prostate Surgery Musical Rotunda.
Albeeee Layer Senior’s famous Layer Cake invention was also famously instrumental in the evolution of the now famous ‘Fillet O’Fish Burger‘ made famous by that famous chain of famous restaurants: “O’Malley’s Hamburg Sausage Patties Pty Ltd.” (Catch phrase: “THERE’S TWO APOSTROPHES IN O’MALLEY’S!!!”)
Mariah Carey is Jim Carey’s second cousin and was originally named ‘Pariah Karey’ but the family saw that she was treated like an outkast at school and was thus first renamed ‘Pariah Karey’ and finally ‘Mariah Carey’. Her major claim to fame in the Evangelical church where she was raised under a pew by her ‘uncle’ is that when drunk she can play the Beetless’s “Oh-Blah-Dee-Play-Doh’ on a xylophone with her breasts.
very good CB!
WTF no news on the GOAT pulling out of Oz leg as he has 2 busted ankles plus broken hip – back out of the zimmer frame for sth africa
Probably can’t handle sitting in a hotel room for two weeks. Either that or he doesn’t like the venues.
Or he broke his goat-surfing bicycle rack due to too many goats. (It’s only rated for one or two goats max) and can’t get another because they’ve flown off the shelf like hot cakes.
I swear it seems like the most random people live on maui.
Pat Benatar, Sammy Hagar, Don Nelson… Who else?
Mick Fleetwood. Willie Nelson. I think Owen Wilson kinda sorta. That agent guy Shep Gordon. Oh, Alice Cooper kinda sorta too.
Oprah, Steven Tyler and Clint Eastwood.
Chad Morgan. Has a shack right on Scrubby Creek.
“I HAVE SUFFERED EXTREME MENTAL ANGUISH AND SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY REPUTATION!” – me getting changed and the wind whips up my towel to reveals what the cold water did to my manhood.
My favorite Surf Carey news was when price is right final showcase opened a curtained and its a trip to Hawaii. Package complete with his and her SUPs and a surf lesson on the resort.
I didnt know this then, but the models on the show floor were playing on white sand. Years later after reading Chaz’s book – I put the two and two together. If you know you know.
Rest in Peace Drew Carey.
So he smokes up with Willie Nelson too eh?