Much sadness.
Any surfer who lives in a progressive beach town will know that yoga has gone too far. My North County, San Diego is awash in stretchy pants, nifty hats, auras of arrogant peace and practiced calm. I’d imagine that Australia’s Byron Bay is much worse and Oahu’s North Shore worse still (when Wanderlust is in town).
But maybe, likely, very worst of all is the Island of the Gods, onetime surfer paradise Bali.
For up those verdant hills, in Ubud, we find Australian guru Andrew Irvine who was planning on hosting a yoga-adjacent “tantric full body body energy orgasm” retreat, or at least until neighbors grew concerned, then outraged and went to the police with their concern.
According to the august Daily Mail, Irvine is “…the creator of Tantric Body De-Armouring and Tantric Full Body Energy Orgasm Retreats, which guide people in cultivating a profound depth of vibrancy and intimacy in their daily lives, relationships, sexuality and careers.”
He has been practicing and exploring tantric and taoist practices, has a master’s degree in health science and sexual health.
40 excitado participants had signed up for the retreat, promised “heightened states of sexual ecstatic full-bodied orgasmic bliss” until those meddling neighbors stuck in their noses.
Irvine was rounded up by police and questioned, though not arrested, and his retreat was then cancelled.
Like Dr. Seuss.
Not coincidentally, he was a previous professional partner of “alleged sex-cult leader Shantam Nityama, also known as ‘The Divine Madman’, a Los Angeles-based guru who conducted workshops in Byron Bay.”
The two parted ways after Irvine became frustrated with Nityama’s eating animal hearts during “spiritual training.”
Irvine, released by police, returned to his villa where he allegedly remains sad.
No word on the 40 participants.
More as the story develops.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Good. Puke.
The wives of two surfers I know split after going away to yoga camp. How much is it? Sounds like something I should get my wife for xmas.
Ubud is an absolute cesspit of wannabe insta-famous influencers pretending that they are the first person to ever travel to the hills of Bali and do yoga.
I made the mistake of meeting a friend there last time I was in Bali. The place was fucked. Every single person walking down the street talking to their phones. Every cafe and restaurant filled with caricatures staring into screens as they write their blog. Everyone in full make-up and crisp white linen (and 6 outfit changes a day due to humidity & mud) from dawn to dusk.
Some of the cafe’s actually had signs explaining rules/courtesies for using laptops & free wifi, which I’ve never seen anywhere else in the world, because presumably these dumb fucks are just sitting there all day wasting space and not paying for shit.
Prior to this trip the last time I’d been there was about 10 years ago, prior to Instagram, and prior to Eat Pray Love’s film adaptation, and was a totally different place (still shit, but a worthwhile diversion to keep the wife happy mid-way through a surf trip).
i was on insta in the beginning for 6 months or so, then i saw those posed photos of beautiful kids in Costa or Bali with hot chicks on longboards in santa hats “celebrating” their lives or some shit.. i left social media that night.. i puked in my mouth and said this is going to kill our sport more than ever before.. now every fuck wit has a photo of themselves at their local with a new Stewart or a head cover up like Elo.. it really gets my goat.. so i stay away from it all.. I am a better person for it.
You just have to choose who to follow and get rid of all the bad ones. There are some really good IG posters that put up pics from the seventies like lyttle street. Santa Barbara Photog Jimmy Metkyo posts pics of Curren in the early eighties also.
yes that is an alternative. but i prefer to read a bit and spend an hour a night looking for a Netflix movie i actually want to watch before shutting the lights out.
We’ve got a neighbour whose wife explains his occasional absence as having; “…gone to Bali. It’s very important for him. It’s a very spiritual place”
Yeah.
I think he’s probably fucking underage ladyboys, but you know, whatever.
Do you live next door to Bex?
Bali seems to be a target rich environment for sexual/spiritual predators.
interlocking interloping bejezuz Chas…..must be alot of pressure imagining what to write with the audience expectation of 3-4 drops a day.
I just re-read and the piece holds. Avant-garde tabloid art.
Namaste.
The real crime here is that Irvine has missed his calling as a wozzle athlete horse whisperer doyen. Sad times indeed.
A discussion of cancel culture
https://slate.com/podcasts/…
I fuckin love stretchy pants on the right yogi
I like blueberry, but sometimes lemon really hits the spot.
Usually a thin layer of oats on the top is good enough for me.
Vegan donuts!!!
Doing noisy circles with your car in an empty parking lot, without harming animals.
This you, Chas? https://www.youtube.com/wat…
“Oahu’s North Shore worse still (when Wanderlust is in town)” the fuck is Wanderlust? North Shore is the land of jiu jitsu and HIIT jedis, not yoga.
Utilize Italian surf historian’s google!
Thanks, now instagram thinks I want to buy lululemon spandex pants
Well they’re sponsoring Julian Wilson, so why wouldn’t you want to buy them?
Is HIIT short for doing speed and robbing garages of mountain bikes?
Hippopotamus Intransigence Interlocutor Trifecta