Re-Correction: One-time Venice-adjacent surf publication Stab begs forgiveness for its now “too American” tone; seeks to hire Byron youth in dangerously ageist job listing!

"And please, for everyone’s sake, leave your silly surf clichés at the door. It’s not the 7-mile Miracle, it’s the 11-kilometer slap capital."

Stab magazine, once headquartered in Bondi, Australia before moving its center of operations very near Venice Beach, California, has pivoted hard back to its Australian roots and is begging forgiveness for its “too American” tone.

In a job posting that brought many tears to elderly Australian eyes, the surf website robustly apologized for past missteps…

An American team led by Ashton Goggans, Michael Ciaramella, and (recent full-time addition) Brendan Buckley came into the picture around the same time that our established Australian voices (Jed Smith and Elliot Struck) moved on from Stab to pursue personal projects. This had the unintended effect of flipping our editorial cadence from Australian to American overnight—an obvious over-correction, and one that we’re actively looking to rectify.

…before announcing its mea culpa.

With that, we’d like to announce that we’re officially on the search for the next great Australian surf writer to come work with us in our Byron office.

What will it take to help right Stab’s flagging ship?

– Immense surf knowledge: Specializing in a single area is fine, but you must have sufficient knowledge of modern surf history, culture, and competition. To test your expertise, we’ll ask you to take this quiz and include a screenshot of your results with your email submission (and don’t try to cheat by taking the test twice, we’ll know).

– Clever, efficient, and upbeat writing: We don’t care if you’ve been published before or if you went to journalism school. We just want someone who’s young, witty, and a voracious learner. And please, for everyone’s sake, leave your silly surf clichés at the door. It’s not the 7-mile Miracle, it’s the 11-kilometer slap capital.

– An unequivocally Australian voice: By globalizing our brand (and workforce), we’ve successfully grown Stab to what it is today. But through that process, we’ve inadvertently lost our Australian tone. We need someone who can speak the native tongue and reinstate Stab’s hemispheric balance.

Young, witty, and a voracious learner (improper comma usage Stab’s)?

Young?

The great Steve “Longtom” Shearer, unfortunately, need not apply.

The same doubly true for Nick Carroll.

How many other aged Australian surf writers does this sort of business discriminate against? I can think of six or seven, off the top of my head, not even counting Tim Baker.

The move to near Venice Beach to Byron, multiple years after each reached critical mass, in any case, seems very cool.

11-kilometer slap capital.