John John Florence puts muscle behind Peloton as company hit by very bad press.
Endorsements. One minute you’re in a mutually beneficial commercial relationship with a seemingly innocuous but respected lifestyle brand, the next you’re throwing together a desperate press release distancing yourself from god knows what scandal.
Two days ago, the two-time world champion John (John) Florence made an Instagram post singing the praises of his Peloton Interactive Inc. fitness bike, along with a promotional video in which he appears alongside various other athletes, most notable of all fastest man on earth Usain Bolt.
“When I had an ACL surgery in 2019, I got a Peloton bike to help with the rehab process, “ posts John (John). “Throughout my recovery I found myself using the bike all the time, and I’ve continued using it ever since for workouts and warmups. It feels like an honor to be mentioned alongside these athletes… I’m excited about this partnership!”
Peloton get the rights. John (John) gets the bikes. Surfline Man gets a nice big hit of dopamine unpacking another shiny new bit of kit.
A match made in consumer lifestyle capitalist heaven.
Everybody wins.
The system works.
But wait.
A few hours before J(J)F’s post a story appeared on various news outlets. A headline on The Guardian read,“US regulators warn Peloton users to stop using treadmills after child death.”
A decidedly un-feel-good, largely contra-wellness combination of words.
Peloton Interactive Inc. responded saying the warning was “inaccurate and misleading”.
“There’s no reason to stop using the treadmill as long as children and pets are kept away from it at all times, it is turned off when not in use, and a safety key is removed.”
It should be emphasised that J(J)F only mentioned the Peloton exercise bike and not the child-mangling treadmills mentioned in the report, so there’ll probably be no back-peddling(!) from the two-time world champion anytime soon.
Still, the timing between the story breaking and J(J)F’s post – mere coincidence, or has surfing reached such a lofty status in the minds of Joe public it’s now deployable as corporate damage-limitation fodder?
Heady days.
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Have you seen the lovely, young and pretty instructors?
While I am huge fan of John’s, I would be more motivated to buy a Peleton because I get to spend 30-60 minutes being tortured by one of those ladies.
Which, by the way, makes for awkward office conversations when you are all looking at a copy of Shape magazine and your customer’s daughter is in tights and a halter top.
But since I am a firm believer in providing good customer service I make sure I actively participate in the ogling. 🙂
John John is a professional surfer. Has anyone ever been hurt surfing before?
But I don’t see why they need him when their instructors are now celebs in their own right.
It’s an unusual arrangement.
Peleton instructors are celebrity athletes/models in their own right so I am not sure why they are sponsoring John.
My customer’s daughter is one of the instructors and has appeared in the NY Post and various other magazines.
She has stock, is repped by a big modelling agency and does celeb training on the side so Peleton is a very lucrative enterprise.
Getting people to pay a monthly fee is where it’s at. Whether its for using photoshop instead of buying the app or all the fitness stuff. Surprises me that people don’t just buy an exercise bike for a one time fee. Do they really need to be watching an instructor to tell them when to peddle harder.
Worked at a tennis/fitness club for twenty years and it always blew my mind that people would pay personal trainers.
My wife has one and she swears by the instructors.
What’s different about Peleton is the “on demand” nature of the workouts so that you can do them any time you want.
As a very stoned grom on the way to the beach board under arm, i fell off the back of bmx onto the back wheel where my arse cheeks played the part of brake calipers to the tune of a burnt arsehole and very bruised nut sack..picked myself up threw the bike into the bush and never touched a two wheeled devil again..
What a beautiful story
Yeah me neither, mate. I’m just objecting to this pish excuse for a piece of writing.
Anyway, this is Charlie’s domain.
Saw this crap on FB the first day of Narrabeen and couldn’t be bothered commenting about it as I came to the fairly logical conclusion that JJF has never touched his FB account himself and it’s probably just an automatically generated post that he wouldn’t know existed.
Either that, or he was so involved in it that the distraction helped him lose to Morgs for the 2nd time in a row…
I need that level of administrative help.
Fuck I hate that happy, happy world!
Do you watch porn?
Surfline Man wants to throw caution to the wind and book a trip to the Waco wave tank, but without a proper Surfline cam and accurate forecasting models, he feels the investment is a bit too risky.
Ha ha, yah, well there was that whole episode last summer where he thought he was going to Waco but then, got all scared of Covid and cancelled it. I think maybe some sort of wave pool experience should be in his future, howevs. I’m just trying to figure out how it could possibly be funnier than Chas’s actual experience at Surf Ranch.
He just got caught in the wrong part of the news cycle (!).
Does he wear the spandex anyway?
Hurluley spandex
surfline man watches peloton to wank, in my estimate
Actually in all seriousness for me it seems to be time / childcare. If I HAVE to be around house for the youngest then I ‘d love a thing beyond boring fucking pushups to do. The best exercise bar none is surfing / paddling. If I can’t do that then ????
i do peloton for the wheelies and the instructor chicks imploring me to “push it hard”
‘child-mangling’, sounds terrible
Beach Grit bike Medina endorsed
https://youtu.be/7bmyGI6qQwc
That’s not a penis…thats a fist.
kill me now.
hell funny
Off topic, as the topic is as boring as batshit, can anyone translate what Italo is saying in his Instagram stories? It appears he’s talking about his tantrum, and I believe it will be of more worth than Chas’s filler.
Oops. It wasn’t Chas. Humble apologies.
understandable. i assume all shit articles are by chaz
“…grotesque banana wherewithal backwards milkshake opportunity moon spy liberty trampoline rotunda tribal horn umbrella unconscious baboon molestation”
I could possibly have the wrong translation setting
Take any three of those words and put them together. You now have a high school band name.
Lost verse from the butthole surfers “sea ferring”
You know what, cunt, we can all look at Instagram and parse it for ourselves.
Yes. John John’s talents are limited to surfing. Best not to take his word for much else. Anyway kids have been getting fucked up by treadmills and stuff for years. Fucken sad but generally happens due to misuse. You can’t take your eyes off the little cunts or they will get fucked up. RIP. Parents will never get over it.
True that
If there’s danger they’ll find it
Happened to Mike Tyson’s kid
I think he’s pretty good at beekeeping!
I’m missing bits of two fingers because my 18month-old self tried to use mommy’s exercise bike chain to pull myself up to my feet. I still use it to guilt trip her into giving me money.
Yeah but this is an excuse to come bitch here.