Listen: Rottnest Island has fallen under a bleak curse and the only way to break the spell is with more Professor Lenny Collard!

Solution simple.

The Rip Curl Rottnest Search presented by Corona has fallen under a curse and that is the only way to describe what is currently happening. Taj Burrow turning into a hapless toad before our very eyes, judging calls that can only be described as “cuckoo clock crazy,” no John John Florence and, yesterday, no surfing after three measly rounds of sixteen.

Waves vanished, broadcast pulled down, replaced with Dave Prodan’s The Lineup.

Cursed, I tell you, but am I the only one who knows why? The only one who knows how to fix?

Professor Lenny Collard.

The scholar and Noongar elder was invited into the World Surf League pallet broadcast box that first day, everyone excited, high off quokka smiles, to share of the island’s troubled past as a penal colony for Aboriginals, the mass executions that occurred, etc.

Joe Turpel, only calling Rottnest by its Aboriginal name Wadjemup, listened and nodded, same blank smile spread across face, and said something like “Very cool, uncle. Now back to Mikey Wright’s hand jam…” in response before returning to Collard for the send-off, telling the dignified man, and surf fans alike, that he would be in the pallet box throughout the competition providing more stories, insight, etc.

He has not appeared once.

Not once.

Jimmy the Saint/Sinner remarked, in yesterday’s truncated “comment lives,” that it was yet another broken promise of the white man and it is shamefully true. The World Surf League not even being able to provide performance to its performative activism.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CO-yWqEjtFp/

Collard, now famously, invited the League not to return to the island in his send-off but the League must invite Collard back to the pallet box if they hope to finish the event without multiple heat restarts or worse.

Has no one in Santa Monica watched The Brady Bunch episodes wherein the family travels to Hawaii and finds a tiki necklace?

David Lee Scales and I discussed the stink of Rottnest, the first and second rules of Surf Club, world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater misplaying his investment strategy and much more.

Worth a listen for certain.

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Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

so as usual you have to attack me , who you know nothing about, except I have first hand knowledge of a lot of issue ‘s , that I have always stepped up to and fought for !
So let;s agree that I was brought up in a white middle class culture…..and have seen the and lived the shortcomings of white society , being greed /power and system that doesn’t work except for the rich!
I then come across a culture that is the opposite to what we are currently living , but it’s a non technology culture but highly developed/evolved social culture……
I never profit , always costs me mentally or physically , but giving is living….something that is certainly missing from your M O!

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

So what’s your real spiritual and moral development that makes you have a sophisticated way of dealing with your so called Jewish materialistic commercial world , where you are actually claiming to be the chosen one LOL….

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

oh you feel bullied by me, oh you poor thing , call the thought police , as you have guilt over what I say ! LOL !!

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

History is who and what you are as a culture . We are sum total of of our past History. The problem we have is that history is written by those in power . With advent of the internet we now have more educational tools at out disposable to review and correct history , other wise you are basing your culture on a lie , which what Australia has done and most country’s who suffered at the hand of colonialists .
You and Otto create the victim mentality, by dismissing the truth of History and as we Australians are proud of 50’ooo + years …..and try to denigrate the oldest living culture on the planet , that wants to be part of the …What is an Australian?
How the Fuck did you get that I think ” I am virtuous or chosen? FFS get a grip , you have a very narrow view of the World …..and yeah I am getting vaccinated because everything I have read from the scientists has proven their views , and wanting to travel O/s….well you won’t be allowed to without a vaccination and you can …
is the J for Jews , because you don’t have the gonads to really say it?
I would hope that someone like you has no respect for me as this is compliment!

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

I respect taj burrow.

Maybe they need a trial masters too gain entry to the main comp?

But just throwing these really old dudes wild cards straight into a main event is embarrassing for all concerned

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago

Well surfed CC

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

Round (2) of “Uncle(Professor)Lenny Hates Everybody” excerpts:
1.) Lenny bashes everyone for using hair coloring, but using “reef safe sunblock”
2.) Smashes kooks who can’t figure out which Country they belong to
3.) Questions the shallow iq of those who don’t even know their State belongs to a Country.
4.) Ask TW to not use her white/colonial voice for the oppressed any more, even though she don’t feel hot…..

more as this fake story develops

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
5 years ago

I still dont understand DLS’s idea of creating a stock market where surfers are somehow the product but recieve the proceeds?
How about a digital tip jar for the competitors running during their heats?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  Urchin Sepsis

I think that the idea they had a while ago was good. Like a combined rating of surfers based on content output, comp performances being less emphasised but still a consideration. Can’t recall what they were calling it now but it was a good idea. I guess the proceeds would come via views and endorsements or something?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Rottnest was a gas

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Equality under the law is found at the starting line. Acknowledgement by equitable result ignores equality for the sake of some past wrong made right is only found at the finish line.
While I do find Affirmative Action to be discrimination, I was speaking more to Dem Covid relief Bill that specifically discriminates against white farmers regarding entitlement to Federal loan program. The language explicitly excludes white farmers from applying for the loan, no matter the gravity of negative impacts the pandemic had on their farms. Segregation for the sake of equity is very bad, and does nothing to address the issues faced by American farmers.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

do you have a link about the white farmers?

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus
Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Interesting with who ever wrote the letter below the article claiming how good it was that the minority groups who have been disadvantaged will now looked after…..sounds like the whites are right!

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

It’s discrimination based upon skin color. The victimhood of minority groups is just maintenance of power for the left. It’s pathetic, and Unconstitutional. But then again when was the last time Dems cared about Constitutional rights.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

and yeah the USA has been and is still a racist country , just like Australia !
so as facts come to light about inequality , well that’s when you get policy’s that try and correct the past and they are just minority groups , some based on color some based on religion….not sure you are on solid ground as Capitol Hill showed the World the Dems did care about demoCkracy , and the REpupubbers well anything goes as long as it’s their white way or the highway!

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

We’re a Constitutional Republic.
Democrats are THE party of racism. Democrats filibustered the Civil Rights Act numerous times thanks to Biden’s friend Byrd. Inner cities run by Democrats have gone above and beyond to keep blacks down and out. Planned Parenthood was formed to curb the black population. Dem policies have always been about running a plantation.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Sure doesn’t look like that , loony left Dems worry about every minority group , the Republicans only worry about an ever diminishing white majority , Klingons to a bygone past ……

Otto
Otto
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

The Democrats owe society an apology for their racist past. Their inability to acknowledge their role in the “bygone past”, having fought to preserve slavery, working with the KKK to further Democrat policies, passing Jim Crow laws, enforcing the same laws, numerous efforts to squash the Civil Rights Act from late 50’s up to and including 1964, determined fight to not allow school choice and on and on, results in one logical conclusion: Democrats remain what they have always been, unapologetic racists.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

seems the USA is a series of contradictions , ” Oh Dems created the racist society in the USA and the republicans have now taken over the mantle and doubled down on making sure racism is alive and well …..the fact that you and Donny cannot denounce the KKK….or any of the rabid right….seems you guys now are fighting for racism!

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

and yeah the USA has been and is still a racist country , just like Australia , so as facts come to light about inequality there is an overcorrection until we get the balance right!

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago

Given the cultrual sensitivities arround this event i remain most suprised at Brutus’s lack of input.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

I don’t think he’s very well.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

haha , are you talking about the cancer/depression/Diabetes LOL?

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

lack of input here perhaps , but not over there ………..just left herr Otto a comment!

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Was hoping you’d weigh in here mate! Keen to hear your take on the wozz traipsing over there considering the history.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

It’s a very sensitive issue , as originally the WSL and WA Govt didn’t even ask the local Noongars about holding the event at Wadjemup , they found out through the media…..so there was a bit a flurry behind the scenes to right the wrong .
Rip Curl were outstanding in negotiations and got a lesson in blackfella culture embracing what was needed respect/reconciliation and a deal was done……

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Hopefully they actually listened.. Was stoked to see Uncle Lenny tell em to not come back. Fuck it was an awkward watch poor Turps squirm. I’m sure that wasn’t Lenny’s intention, but still..
For all the wozz bluster about being woke they completely kooked it.

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

just spoke to em….Lenny and Simon will be doing a few heats today…..behind the scenes there has been some really good shit go down

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Im from the mid west yamatji and wadarri people smash those soft south west noogars if they come north of guilderton

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

I don’t know if it’s cursed. I’m not superstitious. But then again it might be. I might be a littlestitious.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
5 years ago
ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

Nice selection(gif)…do you have more?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Well said Ashes… Strange how so many of the champions of Freedom of Speech don’t understand the concept ?

“Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you’re really in favor of free speech, then you’re in favor of freedom of speech for precisely the views you despise. Otherwise, you’re not in favor of free speech.”

― Noam Chomsky

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago

Freedom of speech doesn’t apply in anyway whatsoever to this discussion. That’s just a fucked way to dismiss reality hiding behind a right given in the constitution. You don’t have freedom of speech on someone else’s broadcast. Its not a public forum, its a private company.

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

But, but Tyler … WSL complicit in the presentation by devoting 7.5 minutes of stupid awkwardness.

Ando
Ando
5 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Hence why the Woz looks so shallow and hypocritical.

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago
Reply to  Ando

And they are. It’s a failed concept and method but they do have the right to not have the guy on again. My point was more that this is not a freedom of speech issue.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

That Chomsky quote is still so relevant. I recall reading this way back, it’s something the wokeies and flag wavers alike should take in. Like really take it in. Just because someone is conservative doesn’t make them racist, and just because someone wears a mask doesn’t make them a goddam socialist! All these extremes these days, talk, listen, argue but don’t hate on spec!

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago

Seems that there is some confusion between freedom of speech and a right to a forum for speech. Its not the same thing no matter how its spun. Goebbels and Stalin were never in favor of free speech, thats absurd.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

I think that’s kinda the point Noam is making right? As in, free to speak if it was views they liked allowing for no other speech. Relevant for today in that those who are dissenting are cancelled, silenced, shamed, demonised for opposing views etc.. Siloing views and having just one narrative or ideology is dangerous as fuck. Especially these days since tech corps can decide what narrative suits and banish all other views.

Ando
Ando
5 years ago

And just because someone is wary of cancel culture it doesn’t mean they’re right wing.

https://harpers.org/a-lette…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I would say the same about the QS series in Oz this year with 3 out of 4 in good powerful conditions , the continuous action of 4 man heats , new faces and the local commentary teams were free from the shackles that are applied to those commentating CTs .

Barrelled
Barrelled
5 years ago

Its a business not a public organization. I am no supporter of the WSL and think they are pretty much shit. But you can’t expect any business to give you a voice when you use that voice to speak poorly about that business. Anything else is just poor business practice. Just because you are a “minority” doesn’t give you some sort of predetermined right to a forum, you earn it just like the rest of the world regardless of your race or skin color.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Wibble …. I agree with A lot of what you said but the surfers are not better than the CT guys at Rottnest ….. not yet ? Vasco was world junior champ the year that Isabella Nichols won the female junior division …. she finally made it and Vasco still can .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Paul is witty but who would he representing now that Russell Winter ( Gday Russ ) and the 89 British World Champ are no longer on tour ?
Lord Ted Deerhurst ?

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
5 years ago

After you two got all that money together for Caio and the story about getting him the stickers, how did you not discuss the part where the Wozzle had to acknowledge The People™?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  Urchin Sepsis

They “recognized” in a blatant disregard for The People! A two sentence pivot back to hand jams.

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Exactly. Their silence speaks volumes. Fearful I think.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Finally a contest which will have at least a few Australians on Finals Day , hopefully Lenny among them , at the end of a four event Australian Tour paid by Australian Tax Payers …… smells like a little victory to me …..and who knows, perhaps a crucial turning point in the season when we look back at it after the “ Train Terminates at Trestles “?


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