QLD!
QLD!

Just in: Brisbane, Australia set to be announced as host of 2032 Olympics all but guaranteeing surfing’s inclusion for the next decade!

Australian tax payers rejoice!

Surfing, you are certainly aware, is set to make its grand Olympic debut in just weeks. Tokyo’s Chiba will see Jeremy Flores, Kolohe Andino, Sally Fitzgibbons, Italo Ferreira, maybe Kelly Slater battling it out for gold it what should be “small and funky” waves.

Extremely fun with the world’s eyes on us etc.

After Tokyo, the Games moves to Paris for 2024 and the host nation has already declared surfing will be included, taking place in “France across the Water” i.e. Teahupoo, Tahiti.

Incredible potential.

In 2028, the 5-ring circus travels to Los Angeles and it is impossible to think that surfing will not also be on the menu there too. Malibu? World Surf League CEO’s own Manhattan Beach? Lower Trestles?

Somewhere certainly.

And now, just moments ago, Brisbane, Australia was announced as a shoo-in for the 2032 Olympiad.

Per ESPN, “IOC president Thomas Bach said after an executive board meeting Thursday that Australia’s third-biggest city can be awarded hosting rights as the only candidate proposed at a July 21 meeting in Tokyo.
Bach praised Australia as a sport-loving country with strong support from layers of government in the city of Brisbane, the state of Queensland and federal level.’All this together, I think, made it somehow irresistible,’ the IOC leader said.”

Beautiful Brisbane in the shadow of Surfers Paradise, a stone’s throw from Coolie Kid, and of course we’ll be there, each and every one of us, cheering Joel Parkinson’s children to gold.

Does schoolies happen in July?

A decade-plus of Olympic surfing with no end in sight.

I really hope schoolies and the Olympics collide.


E-bike-to-Trestles pilot and surf star Olympian Kolohe Andino.

US Olympic Star Public Enemy #1 as furious San Clemente residents rally against “unsafe” e-bikes “impacting the serenity” of Trestles and San Onofre!

Ban the bike!

A petition, already signed by two furious residents, is circulating with the aim of convincing California State Parks to shut down electric bicycles being used to ferry surfers to and from Lowers and San Onofre. 

E-bikes have become de rigueur for surfers in San Clemente, including but not limited to US Olympic hero Kolohe Andino, eliminating the need to pilot trucks short distances around the pretty little neighbourhood, as well as providing a sweat-free way to negotiate the trail to Lowers. 

A few pedestrians have been hit by ‘em, and there’s been a collision here and there between bikes, but a small price to pay, I think, like the people dying of catastrophic blood clots ‘cause they gobbled up the Astra Zeneca vaccine.

You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, as they say.

As per Kyle Stevens’ petition. 

E-bikes have negatively impacted the serenity of the Trestles and San Onofre area by creating an unsafe environment for park users on trails, beaches, and paved pathways. The walkway off Cristianitos Road next to San Mateo Point leading south into the park has become heavily used by e-bikes often traveling at a high rate of speed while mixing with pedestrian foot traffic. Often the e-bikes are being driven by children too small for the bikes who have little ability or knowledge of how to safely navigate this area without putting others at risk. Dirt and sand trails in the area have the same situation occurring as well. Many of these e-bikes are traveling at 30 mph and some are modified to go up to 40 mph. These are speeds equivalent to gas powered scooters, motorcycles, and other motorized vehicles which are already prohibited in the aforementioned areas. California Parks regulates and often prohibits e-bike usage in state parks in other areas. The same should be done at San Onofre and Trestles before another serious collision takes place.

Do you sign or do you abstain?


Breaking: World Surf League cancels upcoming Rio Pro citing the dreaded “abundance of caution!”

"Disorder and lack of progress."

Oh but the World Surf League has just released a scintillating press release detailing how the rest of the 2020/21 World Championship Tour will look/feel.

Exciting?

Obviously.

Highlights included Mexico being pushed back by a month to accommodate International Surfing Association chief Fernando Aguerre’s coup, the Outerknown Tahiti Pro being pushed back two days for outerunknown reasons, Surf Ranch unfortunately still coming up next and the Rio Pro canceled.

Why?

The Oi Rio Pro had originally been pushed back from June to August in hopes of safely running the event. The WSL has continued to monitor the situation and made the decision to cancel the event for 2021 out of an abundance of caution for the safety of athletes, staff and the local community. The WSL looks forward to returning to Saquarema with the world’s best surfers in 2022.

Those dreaded abundances of caution.

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan, “We’re really proud that we’ve been able to schedule a truly global tour for 2021.”

Brazil, apparently, no longer “truly global.”

Disorder and lack of progress in Santa Monica, if you ask me.

On the plus side, Kelly Slater now has one less foot injury to fake.

A relief.


Cinema: Critics swoon as U.S. Olympic alternate Kelly Slater dusts off acting career and brings winning performance to Hawaiian beer commercial!

"If a commercial like this is going to work, it has to work moment by moment and scene by scene -- and 'Kona Brewing Co. Surf Lesson 30' does."

Constantin Stanislavski, a notable Russian theater actor, is famous for saying, “Remember: there are no small parts, only small actors.” A very true and honest line that has proved true time and time again including days ago when former actor and U.S. Olympic alternate Kelly Slater dusted off his laurels and re-took the stage in a masterful turn.

Slater, standing on a beach to the left of two “braddahs” made famous advertising Hawaii’s Kona Brewing Company, looks both wry and relaxed as the camera focuses on him.

He is wearing a khaki Outerknown hat, khaki pocket t-shirt, teal and grey Outerknown trunks.

The “braddahs” throw him a beer, he catches it while looking straight at the camera and says, “Pretty simple. You gotta catch them before they break.”

Can a slight island inflection be heard in his voice?

Maybe.

Critics are calling Slater’s performance “inspired” and “welcome” with the late Roger Ebert writing, “I’m not a purist when it comes to beer commercials, and with ‘Kona Brewing Co. Surf Lesson 30,’ that’s just as well. If a commercial like this is going to work, it has to work moment by moment and scene by scene — and ‘Kona Brewing Co. Surf Lesson 30’ does. There are all sorts of unanswered questions when the commercial is over, but I’m not inclined to hold that against it. I enjoy beer commercials for the people and predicaments in them, not for their clockwork plots.”

Very true.


Funny guy Sterling Spencer, doin' it tough. | Photo: @sterlingspencer

US surf star who says he “completely lost” his mind after being hit by a surfboard fin posts troubling Instagram story: “We’re at our breaking point… I feel so helpless with my injury, so weak…”

“It’s been escalating, like, the longer this goes, the worse it’s been getting. It got to a point where I was scared the other day…"

The Pensacola surfer and comic Sterling Spencer who says he “completely lost” his mind after being hit by a surfboard fin eighteen months ago, the injury worsened when a drunk driver hit his stationary car, has posted a troubling Instagram story to his sixty-two thousand followers after an incident with his girlfriend. 

Spencer, who is thirty-five and the son of Gulf Coast legend Yancy Spencer III, hit worldwide fame in 2010 when he posted a dubbed video of a kid trying to get Jeremy Flores’ autograph at J-Bay, with Flores strangling Spencer at the Surfer Poll awards the same year in revenge. 

This video, a day or so old, is a piece to camera where Sterling recounts a “physical” incident with his girlfriend, also posted to Instagram, now gone. 

“Sorry y’all had to see that the other day. I’ve been injured for over a year now and Amanda has been taking care of me every stop of the way and she’s so selfless and so giving. She gives and gives and gives and all of a sudden there’s nothing left for her and she just snaps…

“It’s been escalating, like, the longer this goes, the worse it’s been getting. It got to a point where I was scared the other day and I hate to show that or make her look like a bad person because she’s absolutely not, we’re at our breaking point.

“I feel so helpless at times with my injury, so weak. I just reacted and didn’t know what else to do…

“I hate if this makes her look bad, she’s an amazing person, pleases don’t send negative messages to her, she needs a lot of love, she’s just given so much. She’s tired, man, and I’m tired and just trying to get through this.

“We’re both going to get help and change.

“One more thing. Amanda, she did not hit me. I believe I wrote she swung at me. She was trying to get my phone away from me and it was a little physical but she did not hit me.

“Amanda, I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, day in day out. I appreciate this for the rest of my life. No one’s ever been there for me like this and, I love you and looking forward to better times.” 

Mental illness, as we all know, or should know by now, ain’t a joke. 

When Sterling posted about the incidence of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) among surfers, ie, repeated blows to the head, wipeouts, airs etc, causing a progressive and ultimately fatal brain disease, big names piled on. 

Albee Layer: Thank you sterling. It’s not to say you can’t go hard but that risk is there and pretending it’s not doesn’t help anyone.

Nathan Florence: 100% it is more common than most know! great share bro

Owen Wright, whose own brain injury nearly ended his career: The sad thing is no one is motivated to protect their heads until they have a major accident. After my Tbi the WSL reshaped the way they assess their injured athletes and a lot of the surfers still don’t really follow the protocol and find it hard to give their brain the attention it needs. The long term affects of this is something no one wants to really look at and knows where to go to solve it which leaves our sporting greats and any surfer really, dealing with mental health issues. Good news is it’s been brought to light with WSL and it’s doctors and they are actively still moving in the right direction with long term brain care at the top level. For the everyday punter they need to start realise that wearing a helmet is a simple but effective way that you can protect your head. Wishing you and your family all the best through this journey.

Wishing our brother good health and good luck navigating his way outta this.