A masterclass in shade.
The world reacted as one, yesterday, following surfing’s grand Olympic debut. Much social media praise for historic first golds for well-deserving Italo Ferriera and Carissa Moore. Many “congratulations” and “bravos” and “very cools” from surfboard shapers, surf-adjacent celebrities, surf-enthusiastic politicians.
Zero mention, however, from the world’s greatest surfer, and first Team USA Olympic alternate, Kelly Slater.
The 11x World Champion instead decided to focus his Instagram stories, in order, on:
-A picture of himself riding a twin fin
-A picture of Surf Ranch with the comment “I get happy when… my friends kids get pitted at Surf Ranch.”
-A picture of a shooting range target man.
-A thank you from Thomas Victor Carroll (from Surf Ranch).
-Name dropping Oscar De La Hoya and Vitor Belfort.
-A picture of himself as a younger boy holding surf trophies.
-A picture from a golf course.
-A video of what appears to be a submarine chasing dolphins.
-A video of himself riding a twin fin appropriately titled “twin fin action.”
Slater, who months ago said he was born in Florida but considers himself to come from earth, is known for complicated mind games and it must be assumed that he is gearing up for the back half of the World Surf League’s Championship Tour.
Currently 22nd on the leaderboard, favorite events Teahupo’o and Barra de la Cruz are just over the horizon. Quarterfinal finishes in both could very easily vault Slater into the final 5, especially with John John Florence considering withdrawing, thereby punching a ticket to Lower Trestles.
Imagine the shade a 12th World Title would throw on Tokyo.
On Italo and ‘Riss.
Masterful.
More, certainly, as the story develops.
This article cements Chas Smith’s gold medal for Slater trolling. Gross!
Thanks, that’s the first wave I’ve seen from the olympics. And it’s already over. Surf looked chunky, but some powerful, chunky sections in places.
Those were the best conditions by far. The earlier rounds were the most god awful blown to hell waves I have ever seen heats run in.
I am no expert on the subject but assuming , Both … Byron to Lennox in OZ ( Broken Head possibly and Lennox Head ) and the Ranch in Cali .
Weird to see today young surfers trying to surf the same on midlenghts , missing the point , as the original late 60s / 70s crew was all about experiments to make progress , making formula one surfboards to fly into the future , to go vertical and to avoid having to cruise horizontally down the line like today’s hipsters ,who are trying to recreate or recapture of a past that never existed ….?
Kindred Spirits …. You can see it in their smiles .
Lost in Space ….
Robot .
Innermost limits of pure fun …..Took me 5 minutes when I was 17 to work out that Greenough’s master work was supposed to be seen while tripping on mushrooms or acid
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Greg Long wins the Gold medal!
Haven’t heard about him in a long time.
Deep!
Narcissism
🐐……. ……. …. . .
Kelly Slater Wave Co Sunny Coast coming to an Olympics near you in 2032…..
Kelly’s thought process:
Oxygen helps fire burn.
Italo is on fire.
Kelly does not want to fan the fire.
Kelly does not want the fire to keep burning.
Kelly is no arsonist.
Kelly is a firefighter.
Kelly is a hero.
“damn I had good hair, it started thinning around the time I boned Pam, maybe she practices witchcraft”
Fucken Hasselhoff voodoo stole it and put it on his chest. Cunt.
Such aggressive vitriol for surfing’s greatest at the moment. I love it!
Wow, that’s a tremendous looking trophy.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
“I get happy…… When my friends kids get pitted at the surf ranch”
That’s some Michael Jackson-es que shut right there!
Next level cuntiness from the master
At this point, I’m more interested in Maurice Coles upcoming book!
Quarters? Kelly wins Tahiti in max condition
Oh Kelly is just competitive and loves to compete and no one wants to feel left out and you could easily make an argument that Kelly should have been on the Olympic team with emeritus status, no?
The conditions were kind like big, sloppy, pre-hurricane Cocoa Beach and Kelly might have given it heaps.
Who has done more for surfing, and competitive surfing and American surfing than Kelly?
He shoulda got a wildcard, on resume alone.
That’s probably why the radio silence.
Or maybe he was watching the ping pong and thinking, “Hmmmmmm.”
His timing was perfect for his Trestles victory way back when. Unfortunately his timing was off for him to participate in surfings debut. He had an incredible run. His performances will be talked about for decades to come that should be enough. He is smart enough not to go the route of TC but he may have flown too close to the sun for too long only time will tell?
Teahupoo will be here in three years and Kelly will still be keen I reckon.
When I interview Fernando I’m gonna suggest that each national team get one emeritus/wildcard choice, which would allow people like Kelly Slater to surf for America, regardless of qualification rules.
That would be fair.
Here’s a question. Who would be the wildcard/emeritus pick for:
France.
Australia.
Brazil.
Japan.
Other countries:
And should Hawaii be allowed its own Olympic squad?
Japan didn’t have the “Holy shit!” life or death, degree of difficulty that makes the Olympics dramatic.
Ten foot Teahupoo will have that.
what if the story never develops properly, and just gets old and fat like its mom?
😂
Kelly Salter