Breaking: Australia’s Jack Robinson, Stephanie Gilmore, win the Corona Open Mexico presented by Quiksilver at Barra de la Cruz!

Celebrate!

Western Australia’s Jack Robinson saved his season, moments ago, by defeating Deivid Silva in the final of the Corona Open Mexico presented by Quiksilver at Barra de la Cruz.

Robinson’s highest score, a barrel to air combination, was enough to undo Silva who went up and down up and down up and down on his backhand.

The judges, according to Joe Turpel, were split on which wave was better. Barrel + air or up + down + up + down + up + down repeat.

The tour rookie likely saved his next year as the win will allow him to compete on the Championship Tour Delta Variant.

On the women’s side, Steph Gilmore inspired with beautiful surfing, taking down Malia Manuel in the final. She ignored her ego, sat with priority and allowed pretty waves to slide underneath.

Dropping golden anchor.

Malia’s loss ensures Courtney Conologue’s spot on next year’s CTDV.

Exciting.

Longtom wrap coming soon.


Listen: The second-ever “CJ Hobgood professional surfer of distinction and grace” award to be handed out in lieu of championship trophy at end of season!

Live like CJ.

And it is now official. The Ok Pro in beautiful Teahupo’o is cancelled due Covid and the 2020-21 World Championship Tour season is at its merciful end. Oh the year was fun, or fun enough, starting at Pipeline before moving to Australia for four events then heading to Lebore then Barra and now all that is left is the final five of the year, men and women, headed to Trestles to duke it out for the second-ever “CJ Hobgood Professional Surfer of Distinction and Grace” award.

The first, if you recall, was gifted to CJ Hobgood himself after the 9/11 shortened 2001 year.

Pipeline, Australia, Kelly Slater’s tank, Mexico, Trestles. A fine smattering of waves, a perfect amount for the Hobgood (minus the tank) which brings up an important question. Would you rather win the Hobgood or the regular old Championship Tour cup?

After much consideration, I would go for the Hobgood. As the name suggests, it takes both distinction and grace, an ability to not only compete, but live, with gorgeous flexibility.

Any Kelly Slater, with a competitive drive like a steel trap, can win the Championship Tour. Artists win the Hobgood.

David Lee Scales and I discussed the 2020-21 year on the program today, in any case, and how next year might look. The Delta variant is, of course, thriving and do you think it would be wise for the World Surf League to set up plan A and plan B when it comes to the schedule? Do you think Santa Monica would be remiss in not so doing?

Or will the Hobgood become a yearly event?

I would like that.

Listen here.


Comment live, Finals Day, Corona Open Mexico!

In this house every door's a back door.


Italo runs into former world junior champ Mateus Herdy's brick wall in the quarters.

Day three analysis, Corona Open Mexico, “Aussie pro surfing’s Darkest Day. A savage indictment on the Surfing Australia/HPC surfing industrial complex, tasked with translating Aussie taxpayer money into a pipeline of champions!”

And, honest question, is anyone in this event surfing as good as AI in 2006? Apart from Carissa in her division.

I am a gullible prick/sheeple. Swallowed the Carlos Casteneda Mexican shaman hoax holus bolus, ate up Kelly’s bold prediction of a twelfth title run via back to back wins in Mexico and Tahiti before storming home at Trestles.

When it comes to world views I’ll choose the most aesthetically pleasing and nothing seemed as good looking/absurd to me this time yesterday as a Kelly Title in 2021.

Three minutes to go against Italo and needing a 7.27, Kelly spikes an overhead wall with the classic karate snap, still the best top turn in the game, before blitzing a carving three-o.

Falls. Like Tahiti, like Australian Pro Surfing.

A very, very disappointing end.

Judges called Italo’s waves almost exactly a point better, wave for scoring wave, than Kelly’s.

Harsh, but true.

Kelly’s dream, our separate reality, crushed by a fire hydrant-sized bastion of Brazilian progressivism.

With Tahiti gone and the regular season done, so goes Owen Wright, Wade Carmichael, Ace, Jack Freestone, Connor O’leary, plus the previous New Chapterers of Mikey Wright, and Julian Wilson.

I think Ethan Ewing survives by the skin of his pepi.

That’s a wholesale slaughter, Aussie pro surfing’s Darkest Day. A savage indictment on the Surfing Australia/HPC surfing industrial complex, tasked with translating Aussie taxpayer money into a continuing pipeline of champions.

Will they be able to retrofit the non-industrialised Morgs into their organisation to claim success out of massive failure?

Ewing couldn’t find the extra gear to knock out Medina, despite every advantage under the sun, most pertinently a very brittle looking Medina.

This is not the Gabe we saw on Finals Day at Narrabeen. The make rate has slipped and with it confidence.

Which one went first is a chicken and egg argument.

Not only is the confidence low but the previous iron-clad heat strategy looks shot. He surfed scrappy insiders against Deivid Silva, let him go on the all the bombs and couldn’t claw back the deficit in wave quality.

That’s three major chokes in three events. Surf Ranch, Olympics and now Mexico. This is the shakiest front runner we’ve ever seen, to mangle a metaphor: swimming covered in tuna oil in shark infested waters.

Toledo’s brain fades this year likewise do not inspire confidence despite Trestles being his happiest of happy places. Italo looks the most solid of contenders but the soft rollers and long lulls of a typical southern-hemi day at Trestles conspire against the hyper-active Ferreira modus operandi.

Italo called his heat win against Kelly a “nice heat” and seemed suitably understated as the Goat seethed nearby, one more slow dimming light extinguished on the long slow fade out we are privileged to witness.

No Olympics has to burn, both personally for Kelly and for the sport itself.

An injured John John was a non-event, a fully fit Kelly would have been massive as far as the mainstream media goes. Huge, huge story. The fully fledged reco both Kelly and Elo crave. The antithesis of being pinned against the glass by a babbling Kaipo in front of a tiny audience of fellow gullible pricks and prickettes.

One Australian in the quarter final, which is about or just above the year average. Robbo looks good. Very repertoire heavy, like Mateus Herdy, and unlike Ethan Ewing. Not afraid to go above the lip first turn, which seems strange in 2021, fifteen years after AI did it in the final.

Honest question: is anyone in this event surfing as good as AI in 2006?

Apart from Carissa in her division.

Italo is smashing it repeatedly but each turn means less when you lose count of them. Leo, Herdy, Jack Robbo? No one looks completely in charge of their own destiny. Robbo looks closest with his so-called “peaceful warrior” demeanour, which he confirmed was an “energy you need to have” and was so esoteric that it was “too complicated to explain”.

Don’t hold back Jack, you are amongst your own people here.

We are psychedelic literate and understand how sideways shit can go in the tropics when you follow the lightning flash of plant-based inspiration.


Feds claim popular Santa Barbara “Lovewater” surf school owner accused of murdering his children was obsessed with “QAnon and serpent DNA conspiracy theories.”

What are we then supposed to do?

The most stomach-turning story of the decade was filled in, earlier today, when it was revealed that the popular Santa Barbara surf school owner, Matthew Taylor Coleman, was “obsessed with QAnon and serpent DNA conspiracy theories” before gruesomely murdering his two young children in Mexico.

According to NBC News, the 40-year-old confessed to authorities that he used a spearfishing gun, earlier reported as a wooden stake, to stab his two-year-old son and ten-month-old daughter to death because “they were going to grow into monsters” due his wife’s “serpent DNA.”

According to Business Insider, “Contemporary belief in reptilians is mostly linked to British conspiracy theorist David Icke, who first published his book ‘The Biggest Secret’ in 1998. Icke alleged that ‘the same interconnecting bloodlines have controlled the planet for thousands of years,’ as the book’s Amazon description says. The book suggests that blood-drinking reptilians of extraterrestrial origin had been controlling the world for centuries, and even originated the Illuminati — a fictitious group of world leaders that conspiracy theorists say control the world.”

Coleman allegedly referenced his “enlightenment” after his arrest and claimed that “he knew it was wrong” though “hoped to save the world with the action.”

Disturbing alternative narratives have wildly proliferated in the past few years becoming accepted by larger and larger swaths of the population. I suppose we all, here, know someone who has jumped the shark, so to speak, but what to do with all of this, practically?

How to interact, converse, correct? Cutting off, ostracizing, “cancelling” doesn’t seem like it works.

At all.

Of course Coleman was profoundly mentally wrecked but did thinking conspiratorially lead to his horrific, unforgivable action or did his profound mental wreckage merely find its disturbing alternative narrative and latch on?

What are we then supposed to do but, more importantly, how can we, all of us, protect everyone around us and especially our children? We, surfers, knew this man. He was one of us. He was ours, as disgustingly difficult as it is to hold.

There has to be a way to make this never ever happen again in our ranks.

Being disgusted isn’t enough.

There just has to be something we can do.