“I just had the most profound experience of my life."
For the past two days, pro surfing fans have thrilled to an invigorated Kelly Slater performing better, according to our august corespondent, than fifteen years ago.
The source of Slater’s zeal?
In today’s contest analysis, Longtom points to the ability of psychedelics to open a gateway to perceiving the Universe.
“It flat out works. We simply have to accept this separate reality when it comes to the WSL and the Goat. How else to explain a fifty-year-old man doing the best turns of the day (opening turns on wave one and three) in head-high point surf?”
Four years ago, y’see, Slater, was a guest of the Rythmia resort, “the ultimate spiritual vacation located in Costa Rica, in an all-inclusive luxury resort” where “93.26% of our guests report a life-changing miracle during their stay.”
In a testimonial posted to Facebook and presumably related to the Ayahuasca ceremonies held at the resort, he said, “I got a miracle of information. It opened up some sort of doorway in my future. It was otherworldly.”
Kelly appeared in the to-camera testimonial looking beatific and dressed in guru-chic beige.
In an almost whisper he says,
“I just had the most profound experience of my life. I literally decided to come here twelve hours before I came. It was something that was nagging at me for a few weeks beforehand, that this was something that could potentially change my life. I’ve had a lot of experience in my life. I’ve been all around the world… I’ve lived all around the world…and I’ve got to experience most worldly things. But…”
What miracle did occur?
“I don’t think I could explain unless we sat for a long time and you kinda understood what it is. It’s really bizarre. I would say I got a miracle of information and what you do with that is your own thing. So that’s the challenge and the goal now is to refresh to that knowledge and to use the what I experienced and got to understand from it to change my life and my world. I think it opened up some sort of doorway in my future.”
Watch here!
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Ill bet you say that to all the girls.
Click here: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Cocaine is misleading. It looks so pure and white but if people knew the chemicals that went into it and understood how toxic they are, they wouldn’t touch the stuff. Like sniffing gasoline. Toxic.
Click here: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Agree on WT – he just does not have the small wave game anymore.
I still think enough in the tank to win Pipe or Chopes. A lot of other things would have to align but pound for pound, still one of the best in the world in heavy barrels.
Outside of a very small few, pipe specialists have not fared all that well over the years.
Just my .02
This is pretty much a captain obvious take. The entirety of the surf world shares this opinion. He simply cannot match the progressive air games of gab and italo et al – too old.
Only way KS wins an event is at big barrels.
Look, i dig psychedelics but this article is trash.
So 4 years ago Kelly had an profound Ayahuasca experience, and now, 4 years later it finally made him surf better for a session.. wow. What a fucking stretch that is.
I tell you something that did happen four years ago though, Kelly broke his foot.
Hmmm.. funny that.. I wonder if that Ayahuasca was before the injury?
In Chicama some years ago and a travelling surfer did an Ayahuasca session the day before the swell of the year. Swell arrived and the guy spend it vomiting on the beach with a blanket over his head. Some yank saw the guy and said “sometimes people do these things to learn something about themselves, but just learn that they are a fucking idiot that keeps making bad life decisions”.
That was way to long winded
People!!!!!
It’s Kelly friggin Slater you know Websters definition of Narcissist. I’m just SHOCKED he didn’t realize he was GOD….
This is all about money folks!
“See The stars Play with Laughing Sam’s Dice.”- Kelly Slater
This mofo really is an asshole.
I can only imagine about the drug in his body…
And I’m sorry, and feels pitty.. for the drug.
He puts this shit in his body, which nobody knows the long term effects. But vax – fucking now way! Too funny…
KS gone all Cheyne Horan on us.
I was re-reading recently , “The Picture of Dorian Gray “ and somehow pro surfing came to mind …..? And the syndrome name after the protagonist in the novel …..
“Dorian Gray syndrome (DGS) denotes a cultural and societal phenomenon characterized by a man’s extreme pride in his personal appearance and the fitness of his physique, which is accompanied by difficulties in coping with the requirements of psychological maturation and with the aging of his body.….”
but I couldn’t think of anyone it could relate to.Does anyone from the BGSisterhood have anyone in mind ?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
That’s shelving music right there
Are You Experienced?
“ME ME I MY MY I I I ME ME I MY…
*some things I heard on Joe Rogan, Tim Ferriss…
Garble, garble, vagueness, mince…
(WHAT WOULD MY BRAIN NANNY SAY?!)
Otherworldly. Life changing. No guarantees.”
This is a good watch on Netflix at the moment
gg.gg/vmxpm?i1G3AgEmCT
I just watched this one on YouTube yesterday, pretty fun:
Just don’t tell the vegetarians that mushrooms are not vegetables , are more related to animals , do not photo synthesize , and may have feelings and imaginary hands which open the doors of perception…..
I’m paraphrasing Bill Hicks here, but it looks like Kelly’s third eye had been well and truly squeegeed.
gg.gg/vmwox?F5iZg1