Fix up. Look sharp.
Have you set aside the 10 o’clock hour (9 o’clock Central) for tonight’s grand premier of the World Surf League’s The Ultimate Surfer? The program, starring Anastasia Ashley, Austin Clouse, Mason Barnes and Erin Coscarelli as “the world’s best surfers,” has been teased for months now and will also feature Kelly Slater teaching “up and coming surf stars” how to play spin the bottle etc.
Thrilled?
Overjoyed that surfing has a new image?
Well, quickened heartbeats are not universal. Surfing’s great polemicist Joel Tudor took to Instagram, minutes ago, to decry the cheapening of our favorite pastime.
Underneath a photo featuring surfing greats (Greg Noll, Pat Curren etc.) dressed nattily he wrote, “Back when surfers had style ….nowadays we speak insta emoji’s, everyone’s a YouTube comedian & nothing is sacred …all the rules of how we got here are now taboo – I swear we are headed downhill fast! Throw a wrench in the machine sos abort abort …ship is going down captain! Ok ok I kid , we’ll be fine ….just could use some old school cool in the era of instant gratification!”
But what do you feel? An old man shouting at the clouds or does Mr. Tudor have a point?
I have long been a proponent of fixing up, looking sharp, and agree that the best surfer is a suit wearing surfer. I have also long known that age, a calcified brain, is marked by criticizing “nowadays” as “not as cool as it used to be.”
So where do you fall?
Has surfing become idiocracized or should we all go along and get along?
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All a bunch of raging alcoholics. Cool.
I always thought a suit wearing surfer was camouflaging as a upper class bourgeois, some people aspire to that though,,,
How come ‘camouflage’ isn’t spelled:
?
Joel Turdo sets a fine example of sartorial elegance.
Said no one, ever…
I have no idea what you’re saying but I love the enthusiasm
Pompous ass.
Joel just wishes he was born in the past. You watch, next he’s going to be wishing he was wearing Wayne Lynch’s red pants from Evolution.
“They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
‘Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man”.
zztop
hey man i’ll buy a pair!!!!! send me 32s, mid-thigh on the cut but more liberal in the grundle to accommodate my tremendous package. for real – i’ll pay!
Homemade boardies? Fuck me, I can’t even sew a fucking button on my shirt. Cunts have gaps everywhere in ‘em where my manscaped gut hair pokes out.
Hate to think what’d poke out if I tried making a pair of boardies at home.
Joel Tudor, the guy that changed the surfing criteria for a contest so he could finally win something.
Shout out to the Australian Truckees!
I can’t for the shit of me figure out what time this airs. lil help?
Why, so you know when to avoid it?
nah dude. I need to see this insanity
Steve Shearers article on swellnet was very underwhelming
I might agree Bexy. It was good but a tad wordy. He did bring one new salient point:
I’ve seen no local evidence of a post-Olympic bounce in surfing enthusiasm amongst the local kids. It’s skateboarding that has them enraptured. Thirty-something-year old Owen Wright and his advanced hairline did not capture the kids imagination the way that 18-year old Keegan Palmer did.
No doubt Keegan ripped but he’s actually from San Diego who just so happens to now live and ride for OZ.
And SN’s comments are way more civil and without silly upvoting or featured comments. Surprised to see the comments blowing up there about Ultimate Surfer.
He was a totally different style,
And their comment system is fucked
People are from wherever.
I don’t know how much time you’ve spent on those forums, but there are some seriously out of touch arseholes fighting with each other, very uncivilly, all the time.
Saddest site on the web
The political “debate” that goes on there is the most beyond the pale vomit.
Swellnet forums … where good comments die a lonely death
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What a picture
I love it! Perfect surfing.
Hey Chas, is there any way of changing The “comments” title to “polemics”?
Great word, thanks for the vocab expansion.
hEY SuCK MY pOlEmIcS BrO.
(sorry, I just wanted to say that)
Butch lived harder and better than most of us in his short time.
Have you been intimate with Raquel Welch? Ever held the title of Mr Pipeline? Ruled the Lot with an iron fist?
Exactly
The dude is all good in my book.
“Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”
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Never thought I’d get this famous
I think the stereotypical surfer is way gone probably since the late 80s. These days the lineup is a shit show of fuckwits from all walks of life. Something I’ve realised though… When you pull up a Snapper or Dbah and see 100 guys out don’t be discouraged. Of the 100 ants in the water, 30 of them are there just for their weekend social catchup and just sit on their boards having a grand old chat, 40 of them are screaming and fighting with eachother not focusing on the coming set and 20 of them are trying to surf but unfortunately are just not good at it. That only leaves 10 that are actually good surfers that I’m happy to share waves with.
The way to beat the snapper crowd is with a 10’5. No regrets.
True to some small or very large degree, looking at the people (on my S. Cal. sojourn), that pull up in the beach parking and pull a board out of their car these days, kinda blows my mind, not trying to be mean, but 80% or more, all look pretty square around the edges, I actually kinda don’t blame young kids for not starting to surf these days if they have to sit in the lineup with Sprinter guys and Vals– no rebelling or counterculture here– all mainstream it seems–might as well be on the golf course.
“ Umbilical cord’s wrapped around my neck
I’m seein’ my death and I ain’t even took my first step
I made it out, I’m bringin’ mad joy
The doctor looked and said, “He’s gonna be a BAD BOY”
The whole fish / midlength phenomenon has turned the young guys away from performance surfing. Just looking like a hipster is good enough. For girls it’s just aquatic yoga. Paddle out on some Mal with resin tint and preferably no leg rope and you may as well be trending on instagram. That’s about 80% of the crowd taken care of.
Then there’s about 10% grumpy old locals, 5% grommets and about 5% guys who can actually surf good. Yep there’s more crowds but more waves to go around. Just a few more obstacles to negotiate when a set wave comes through, that’s all.
The only time I can’t get any waves is when the surf is really good at my local and it gets inundated, but that doesn’t happen very often.
yes! not just for me – late 80ies was peak surfing.
you ever notice on the surf cams at even the thickest line-ups there’s always waves going unridden…
Wearing a suit while traveling back then is the equivalent of wearing jeans and a T shirt today. Not style, just the status quo of acceptable attire. I get not wanting to lose the history of sport, but romanticizing it to this level is a bit much. I see the tiny wheel, baggy jeans and shirt combo I rocked in the 90’s is back so I consider myself a style pioneer now.
What is a tiny wheel?
Sorry, meant to say penis. I guess that is still just a personal issue but a boy can dream that it is one day fashionable.
surely skateboard wheels? I remember seeing an interview with what’s his name the DogTown guy saying how riding a skateboard with tiny wheels and trying the same trick over and over was not skating.