In a timely and positive win for gender diversity and the annihilation of the ghastly white man from positions of power, Sophie Goldschmidt has been announced as Tiger Shaw’s replacement at US Ski & Snowboard, America’s governing body of Olympic ski and snowboarding.
Goldschmidt, a “global business executive”, worked at Adidas, the WTA, the NBA, Rugby Football Union and the PGA before her highly regarded role at the WSL (2017 to 2020).
Upon her appointment, WSL money spigot, the billionaire Dirk Ziff, described Goldschmidt as “exactly what the league needs”, and said her “experience, strong leadership and winning and inclusive management style would further elevate the league and grow engagement among fans around the world.”
Goldschmidt was on the wrong side of history, howevs, with the raft of Surf Ranch events that were birthed on her watch.
“We’re only scratching the surface of how this technology can be applied,” said Sophie, “and it is completely game-changing for the sport. If you can imagine in future, we’ll have world-class waves, ten-foot-plus waves, coming towards an audience with a stadium coming up out of the water, with amazing broadcast and camera angles, just an electric atmosphere, it can be floodlit at night – it’s just a beautiful thing and it’s so interactive.”
Lost Cloudbreak as a tour event, too.
Ironically, her replacement at the WSL was the whitest man alive, Erik “Elo” Logan.
Goldschmidt steps into her new role at U.S. Ski & Snowboard next month.
World’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater revealed as hero who saved Harry Potter star Tom Felton after star’s shock collapse on golf course, “Kelly is really humble and hasn’t posted about his selfless actions but Tom is grateful for his quick thinking”
"Tom was at the 18th when he collapsed. Everyone was stunned and taken aback but what cameras didn't see is that Kelly jumped straight into action."
A British newspaper has revealed eleven-time world surfing champion Kelly Slater to be the quick-thinking hero who saved Haz Potter star Tom Felton after the star collapsed during last week’s Ryder Cup in Haven, Wisconsin.
Slater, who is forty-nine, was playing on the US Team (the Ryder Cup is a golf event that runs every two years with teams from Europe and the US), when he saw Tom, thirty-four, hit the dirt.
“He ran over to Tom and immediately put him in the recovery position well before medics were on the scene. He then stayed with him keeping him calm keeping him as safe as possible. Kelly is really humble and hasn’t posted about his selfless actions but Tom is grateful for his quick thinking.”
Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy, “a cowardly bully who tricks and hurts people to get what he wants” in JK Rowling’s wizard franchise, is out of hozzy doing ok etc.
“Bit of a scary episode really, but I’m on the mend and people have been taking really good care of me,” Felton told his fans, “so thank you very much to anyone who has sent messages to get well soon. I’m officially on the mend.”
City of Huntington Beach offers emotional support services to anyone who witnessed the fatal police shooting during U.S. Open of Surfing’s penultimate day.
The city of Huntington Beach announced, late Sunday, that it is offering emotional support services to anyone who witnessed the fatal police shooting that occurred on the sand, just south of the pier, just as competition was wrapping at the U.S. Open of Surfing.
The victim, now identified as Ronnie Garcia, aged 43, was gunned down by multiple officers after he failed to comply with their orders. He was allegedly carrying a gun that was later recovered at the scene while hundreds, if not thousands, milled about.
Many, including surfers competing in the event, were deeply traumatized and looking for a way process the horror. Huntington Beach responded by providing Be Well OC’s Tony Delgado at (949) 749-2301. The city will also be hosting a community meeting in the coming days for those who want to express their concerns and ask questions about the incident.
Delaware’s beachfront homeowners reel as property repairs, renovations languish due to cursed social plague: “I was told by a friend that many contractors are surfers and only show up when the surf is down!”
Delaware’s cape region, home to President Joseph R. Biden and Elisabeth Shue, is staggering under an outbreak of surf-related poor work ethic. According to a scathing new report in the Cape Gazette, beachfront property owners are unable to find able bodied men to repair or upgrade beachfront mansions due the severe social plague.
Resident and artist Pam Bounds, who lives in Milton, declares, “I was told by a friend that many contractors are surfers and only show up when the surf is down. This is a romantic vision for wannabe cougars, but hardly ever the reality!”
Ms. Bounds recounts a string of surf-contractor horror stories including unfinished jobs, poorly done jobs, bad attitudes and surly attitudes too. One drove a “beat-up old car” and forced his wife to sit in the backseat all day as he worked, when there were no waves. Another put his foot “irreverently” on her coffee table “heavily tattooed calf at eye level” though at least it was “a feast for the eyes.”
The worst was “the (surfer) who mowed our lawn in Milton for a short while when we were still living full time in Wilmington. He also painted the bottoms of boats. He wanted payment in advance and then didn’t show up, declaring, ‘I’m not mowing your [bleeping] lawn!’ OK. Finally, as my daughter was entertaining prospective in-laws in the front parlor, the Milton Police banged on the front door, looking for me on a complaint of phone harassment since I had been robo-calling him! He knew the ropes of the law for sure, and how to break it, since a few days later, broken windows and screens appeared in my backyard as a warning!”
Strange warning but also extremely surf-esque.
Residents in nearby New Jersey hope the disease doesn’t spread north but many fear it already has and especially in the best little town on earth, Asbury Park.
Exploring the nexus between the art of strangulation and surfing! “To train in BJJ is to continually drown—or, rather, to be drowned, in sudden and ingenious ways—and to be taught, again and again, how to swim.”
A few years back, Kelly Slater, without a hell of a lot of prompting, advised parents to put their kids in jiujitsu “before any other sport.”
Forget surf, get ‘em rolling. he said. It’ll teach ‘em confidence and smash their ego.
“There’s something about it that puts you in your place.”
Slater got turned onto the art of human chess and the various ways to buckle a man in 1992 on one of his first trips to Brazil; ended up getting pally with Rickson Gracie when the BJJ legend moved to California, swapping boards for private lessons.
“Grappling with an expert is akin to falling into deep water without knowing how to swim. You will make a furious effort to stay afloat—and you will fail. Once you learn how to swim, however, it becomes difficult to see what the problem is—why can’t a drowning man just relax and tread water? The same inscrutable difference between lethal ignorance and lifesaving knowledge can be found on the mat: To train in BJJ is to continually drown—or, rather, to be drowned, in sudden and ingenious ways—and to be taught, again and again, how to swim.”
I’d been hearing this sorta thing for years.
I saw jiujitsu swing through Maroubra, a few beaches south of where I live, in the early two-thousands. Suddenly, at parties, squeezing a pal’s carotid’s arteries to cause a temporary hypoxia was all the rage.
“Let me put you to sleep, bruz” was a common refrain.
I was impressed enough by it I got my kid into it when he was four. It’s the only martial art where you practise, over and over over, at a hundred percent resistance. Boxing, y’gotta slow it down in training or you’re going to get brain damaged. And when you throw a punch in the street or at school, there’s a chance one of the participants is gonna end up in hospital, the other down at the police station.
“I have a good idea of what my recoveries will be and what I need to do to recover. I know that if I strain from 18 to 20 (it maxes out at 21) one day, two days in a row, then I know that I’m in need for a big recovery day.”
Can’t hurt to see what happens.
I ain’t one for watches or jewellery but this is subtle enough. It’s a black plastic rectangle affixed to a webbed band. And it’s waterproof.
It uses LED lights flashing into your wrist to measure your oxygen saturation, combining heart-rate variability, resting heart rate and sleep patterns to tell when you to work out, when to rest, as well as strain, how much sleep y’should be getting.
What I wouldn’t realise, then, was how addictive tracking data is, how it’ll seize you and turn you into a fitness loon: late-night runs, extended surfs, afternoon-long wrestling sessions, just to push your strain metric into the stratosphere. You feel tension if your numbers are ordinary.
Conversely, if you let the battery run down and it’s sitting on the charger, you have no desire to do anything. Why exert if it isn’t gonna shift the strain meter.
I also would’t realise, and didn’t think it was possible, that a new sport could steal me away from the game I’d chased and loved since I was a kid.
But that was still a few months away.
Next week: The blissful joys of hypoxia and the realisation that twinks shouldn’t roll with bears!