Feat. Kelly Slater.
It was reported, here, days ago as a rumor that the World Surf League, and its WSL Studios, was set to release the much-loved, refurbished “Drive-Thru” series wherein original cast Benji Weatherly, Donovan Frankenreiter, Kelly Slater and a cast of young-uns would “drive though” somewhere, surf, shenanigan and film the adventure.
Much fun… except, allegedly, our World Surf League pulled the plug on the project right as the boys were headed out.
Per the initial whisper, exclusively on your BeachGrit:
And, then, at the very end of the last meeting, papers ready to sign, Benji Weatherley, still funny and too beautiful to behold at almost fifty says, “Well it’s not like anybody watches the WSL anyways.”
A very good joke and clearly a joke for a quick search on SimilarWeb (a website that tracks internet traffic) reveals the WSL to be almost half the size of surf news behemoth BeachGrit.
But no laughs from WSL executives, apparently.
They want to move forward with project but not with Benji.
Greg Browning moves in, fights for Benji who is, let’s face it, the pulse-racing magic that defines the franchise, and, eventually, the WSL says yes.
But, first, Benji has to agree to special terms.
Now, in that aftermath the angelic Griffin Colapinto took to Instagram and wrote “@Beach_Grit with some non truthful words” over a picture of a glowering Weatherly. Young Griff, though extremely talented, is wrong. While the letter might not have been exactly right, the spirit certainly was. As I heard it from a second, extremely reliable, source, it went like this…
The WSL Studios was set to produce, all the paper work signed, and the principals were invited to a Zoom call to discuss this and that. Someone from the WSL side said they needed to do social media posts around the adventure to drum up interest. Benji responded that he knew what would drum up interest. Namely, stealing Slater’s phone and posting a picture of a male’s parts. A WSL Human Resources employee, also on the call, was profoundly disturbed and hoisted concern up the ladder. The brass, apparently, agreed and instantly pulled plug.
Now, if an off-handed PG – PG-13 joke from Benji Weatherly is beyond acceptable risk for the World Surf League what hope is there for them ever to make anything in our space?
Wouldn’t it be prudent for Ziff and Co. to slowly back away?
An abundance of caution?
David Lee and I discussed on today’s program and also discussed hurtful tweets.
Enjoy.
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After finally watching momentum generation…. You go Benji! What a legend. That made me soften up to Kelly for the first time in 14 years. Fck the woke movement killing surfing. Please continue to publish this beachgrit. We need to celebrate hero’s who push back against the 🐈 movement. Wsl is ruining surfing ….sorry to say but also Mr softcock softboards red bull video clips. We need surfing back and people with feelings out of the water 💦💦
Oooooooooh riiiiiiiight…..
Untrooooths
That’s the word I’ve been searching for!
Benji Whoop?
So I gave it a listen. Is DLS a newly minted dad? He seems to dodge the subject.
Fresh off Griffys insta https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kellayy and Benji doing some truthful face painting…
Astro may not appreciate your sublime approach Beefy but I am stunned by your pure artistic genius. While others might view your renderings as mere pedestrian filth, I see your visages as a studied reflection of the modern surfer’s condition. I’m especially enthralled by the prickly scrotums as a measured balance to the wonderfully erect and erupting pearl essence. Bravo Monsieur.
As per previous article, who the fuck is Benji Weatherly and what the fuck is this “franchise” that I’ve never heard of.
Happenings which occored after the glorious 70s and 80s which we took for granted at the time.
The franchise song becomes more annoying each time you hear it.
I took the time to put together a sound track for Drive-Thru.
Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/tZ2VKJQeFwo
Did your parents hurt you as a child?
Just keepin’ it real.
Badges aren’t earned, they’re lived up to.
The treasonous confederates lost badly, there is nothing to be proud of.
I can understand how you feel that you can relate to them though
What would you know? You’re just another Newbie setting the bar low to manufacture positive gains.
Flexing that you’ve been commenting here longer than someone else is pretty dire.
Don’t disrespect the badges!
That’s just something fat people say.
I’m not even remotely fat
You put cuntery over party.
Here’s an old photo of Kellayy https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
From the original ‘drive thru’ when he had hair…
That’s a fugly cock, beefy. Just saying …
A couple of points here for trying but most judges have thrown low ones at it.
probably home schooled art lessons
It’s an actual photo from the original ‘drive thru’.
Definitely not finger painted on a phone screen…
Maybe Dorian but not Kellayy!
Benji Weathered
The real question is why the Drive Thru franchise needs the WSL in the first place? Do they need a hand from the brain trust behind Ultimate Surfer to make it boring and unwatchable?
Drive Thru IKEA
Chas, don’t you have enough of a portfolio built by now to finally apply for the National Enquirer? Or are you going to run this storyline in the ground first, and then apply?
Was Griffin homeschooled by any chance?
That is so non truthful.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Was the Slater article about his disgruntled ex-employees at Outerknown removed from beachgrit for being ‘non truthful’ or could it be the defamation was ‘beyond the acceptable risk’?
That article is still up
You are correct. I should have used the word ‘buried’
Replace all the drive thru characters with Bruce Irons, Chris Ward and Bobby Martinez. Unedited. I would actually pay to watch that.
Might lose a few IQ points, but it would be a fun watch.
Then it wouldn’t be drive thru. Sounds like some millennial bs. Benji Weatherly, and Donavon F are drive thru!
I don’t know about now but Donovan sure was a special kind of douche about 30+ years ago. Didn’t give a shit about anything but the camera and having photos taken of him.
He’s actually very photogenic, in a straight kind of way. Very cool person as well, and a sick guitar player. I don’t know Barrelled, I sure don’t doubt your comment, just never got that vibe from him.
I once joked that Dpnovan F was sued by the 1970s for theft.
Unedited you say?…
Bruce walks up to the island counter that separates the kitchen from the small dining nook and prepares himself a bowl of Trix, spilling the milk all over the faux marble laminate. Ignoring the mess, he grabs his plastic spoon, the kind meant for food eating, and attempts to ingest his meal, getting most of it in his mouth but every so often having the small pieces miss his mouth, leaving a rainbow of the child kibble, half soggy on the counter. Just as he’s finishing up, in walks Bobby, who appears to have just gotten back from a run, his fitted, flat-brimmed, Monster logo-ed cap pinning in his airpodded ears tightly against his head drenched in sweat.
“Hey, man, were you out running already?” squeaks Bruce.
“Yes,” answers Bobby shortly, but not rudely, rather just answering the question directly.
“Whoa… running around this neighborhood is always so crazy… I mean, the streets are so… I always get lost,” says Bruce.
“I don’t know too much about that… hey, where’s Chris?” asks Bobby.
“He’s not here?” asks Bruce, clearly confused.
“No. Remember, he went out last night?”
Bruce continues to look confused.
“Yeah, he said he was going to look for some hookers… no, he said ‘escorts’… ‘just to talk to.’”
“And he didn’t invite me?”
“You were right there,” says Bobby, pointing to the couch in the adjoining living room. “I mean, you were pretty out of i…”
As he tries to finish, he is interrupted by the jiggling of the knob to the front door. The two wait in silence, as whoever is outside the door struggles with his keys, unable to correctly place them in the hole to unlock the door. After a few moments, he nails it.
“Hey, guys, are you almost ready to go?” asks the cloud of cigarette smoke and patchouli that walks in, who happens to be Chris.
“Go where?” asks Bruce, for some reason still confused, perhaps his permanent state.
“We’re supposed to be going on a surf trip for a movie, a knock-off of those Drive-Thru pieces of shit that Benji does.”
“Ohhhh, siiick. Where are we going again?” burps Mr. Question again.
“We were supposed to go to Texas and then Florida,” answers Chris.
“The end goal is Miami, which I don’t know is the greatest idea with you t…” starts Bobby.
“Whatever. So, Bruce, did you arrange us a way to get our flight?”
“Yeah, just a sec… where are we flying out of?”
“LAX,” responds Chris.
At that moment, Bruce’s body slumps and his eyes bulge out of his head.
“LAX? You know that is confusing as hell! I don’t know how we’re supposed to get there!” shrieks Bruce.
“It’s not difficult. We’ve all been pros for how long? It’s super simple,” maintains Chris.
Bruce backs himself into the corner of the dining area, sitting down on the floor beginning to hug his knees while he rocks back and forth.
“What’s wrong with him?” asks Bobby, shaking his head in disbelief, totally oblivious to the story about Bruce not making his flights for the contest in the Maldives from a few years back because he doesn’t pay attention to surf media, or so he says.
“He had a rough one a couple years ago,” Chris says as he walks over to where Bruce is, picking him up, cradling him in his arms.
“There, there, everything will be alright,” he whispers to Bruce, intermittently shhhhushhing him.
“Just get us an Uber or something… or ask Malia to come pick us up,” he relays to Bobby, giving him a nod.
“OK.”
Bobby orders an Uber and starts putting all their surfboards out on the lawn, where Chris sits with a lightly sobbing Bruce. There they sit in silence until their driver comes, who happens to be Koa Smith….
Marvellous
I take it all back! You deserve more than BG store credit for doing the upcoming contest analysis. Chad and Derek better throw in a couple hundred in Amazon gift cards.
Encore!!
More as the story develops?
I wonder if Benji actually surfs in this one or if he is just the drive thru mascot plopping himself on the beach throwing out one liners. Some solid liters under his feet if he does.
40 liters and ounces
Pretty sure he likes 36 ounces
Benji was not wrong…
So we have Colapinto calling bullshit while Chas and Derek “heard” otherwise. Griff would be what is called a firsthand source of info while Chas and Derek are secondhand at best. One would typically be inclined to believe 1 over 2 but who knows. Now, if we knew Chas’ “source” that might be different.
If Griff wasn’t on the call isn’t his info secondhand at best?
I am simply offering an alternative perspective. Truth and accuracy are not applicable to BG, principals and commenters included.
Are you one of them damn truthers?
I prefer reality but I am FAR from a truther. Them folks are out of their fucking minds.
Ahhhh but a wrinkle! Derek and I are only bound by delivering truths to you, not placating higher ups. We toil for The People! (This message was brought to you by WHOOP)
You had to throw that Whoop wrinkle in there didn’t you? Did we reach the agreed upon number of write ups yet?
A few more, hang in there, kiddo.
Beachgrit is a shadow of its former self. You’ve turned a party for surfings core into a whoop sponsored shindig the likes of Coachella. Now those of us who came for the original incarnation wander these tattered halls like zombies feeding off the rot of a once bountiful feast. As usual once something reaches a critical mass a tipping point is reached and the original endeavor is tossed for whoop money.
And just what was the original endeavour?
The tall ship that made your mod life.
Don’t pretend you don’t know negs is it really as much fun moderating the comments on garbage advertorial and shark dribble?
Garbage?!? Derek’s hero one earlier in the week was top shelf!
BG’s capitalist yearnings have never been a secret and I don’t think Beachgrit has ever changed its direction or tone from day one to now.
I do find it amusing when people get upset that their free content, in fact does come at a cost.
Mention Beachgrit and get 15% off at Whoop.com
Yes, type in the code B-E-A-CH-G-R-I-T and fifteen percent wiped from cost of WHOOP sub.
Didn’t Chas jump a reclaimed coffee table over his belief that surf writers didn’t deserve to make a living writing on this very website? What happened here is a critical mass was reached where there was enough traffic on the site to monetize it. And now it’s no better than the iteration of stab that Chas so loved to flog. Whoop there it is
That’s revisionist! I jumped cuz Ashton was sitting on the other side of it. Ashton Goggans. Such a sweet onomatopoeia!
It’s not free content if you get advertised to really.
Sorry, perceived free content.
So how much did you pay?
The price of a daily headache from flashing in my peripheral vision. I don’t begrudge them making a living but I can’t really internet any longer. I haven’t focused or felt an article for a long time now. I’m also easily distracted.
Only down voted you Neg’s cause of the whoop mention..
I was only hanging around to see if Rory’s wife was going to go for the threesome. I’m still waiting, on the off chance.
I have genuinely tried to find a picture of her on google
Sometime after Samuel’s “post surf” I’d say..
A shadow of a shadow!
That comment is even drive-thruesque. Keep it up, maybe benji will be on your little radio show!?
They are currently filming for it right now….plug intact.
Time for a Beachgrit reality show? Or should I say altered-reality show?
“The Beachgrit Bois”. “The real burnouts of Orange County”….”The stumble-thru”.. “The gritty shore “…..???
finger flip Zeke on hold, line 1