Sleep better, surf better.

Surf Journalist reminded, again, of rejuvenative nature of hebetude, daily napping and the divine joy of being a “sloppy beast”!

Many miracles.

For as long as I can remmeber, I’ve been in thrall to the US Marine ideal, wake up pre-dawn, make bed, drop and give me twenty, ten chins, cold shower, all those traditional paving blocks of a successful existence. 

A stab in the eye to a world of junkies, hippies, freaks, VALS and every other sloppy beast out there. 

Over the past year and a half, as mentioned in eighteen previous posts,  I have become enormously fond of my WHOOP fitness tracker.

Four days ago, I explained how it freed me from the idealogical prison of hard work and guided me into a guilt-free and dreamy languor resulting in injury-free surfing. 

Today, a short note detailing how WHOOP showed me how little I was sleeping and the effect it was having on my recovery and therefore performance. 

The WHOOP measures, 


Sometimes it takes time to fall asleep and we don’t get as much sleep as we think. WHOOP automatically detects how much time you spent in bed in addition to how much sleep you got so you can see how well you slept.


Whether we toss and turn, share a bed, have a newborn, or have a bad night of sleep, our rest doesn’t always go undisturbed. Track how many disturbances you had while sleeping and see if your sleep was interrupted too often.


Are you asleep when you’re in bed? Sometimes we periodically wake-up and have restless nights of sleep. With WHOOP you can track how efficient your sleep was.


Track your breathing while you sleep based on the numbers of breaths you take per minute. Shifts in this metric can signal changes in health.


Monitor how long it takes for you to fall asleep based on when you are attempting to go to bed. Latency is tracked when you manually set sleep as an activity.

All addictive metrics and it has become an article of faith that what WHOOP asks, I must deliver. 

See average sleep over four consecutive days.

Surf performance below par.

General mood, listless, a slow walk across sand punctuated by slow paddling, no real desire to engage pack in games of strategy.

I’d figured boredom with the game, usual frustrations with crowds, quality of waves.

By following my personal sleep coach and by enjoying midday and three pm naps, beginning at twenty minutes apiece, increasing to one hour as my body became accustomed to the shutdown, I negated the effect of late nights.

The spark came back in the sick eyes, and the faint trace of a smile faintly luminous, into the face.

And, surfing without reserves or defences.

Rejuvenated, restored, I cast off everything, and returned to a love of surfing as powerful as the pansexual uge, in my case at least.

Buy your WHOOP here, fifteen percent discount if you use the code BEACHGRIT at checkout. 

Kelly Slater breaks silence on Novak Djokovic’s visa imbroglio in wild to-and-fro with New York Times readers; says Melbourne’s citizens are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, “So much brainwashed hatred in people’s hearts”!

"Five people I know died within two weeks of being vaccinated," says Kelly Slater.

The eleven-time world surfing champion Kelly Slater has broken his silence on the Novak Djokovic visa cancellation in a series of candid comments and challenges to readers on a New York Times Instagram post.

A real quick explanation for those who came in late.

World number one tennis player Novak Djokovic, who ain’t into COVID vaccines, secured a vax exemption to compete at the Australian Open in Melbourne, which, amid a rising furore from Australians, was quickly cancelled by the country’s PM.



View this post on Instagram


A post shared by The New York Times (@nytimes)

When the New York Times posted the story on Instagram, Slater teed off with his claim Melbourne’s citizens had been brainwashed by its state masters, developing a bond with their captors during six lockdowns totalling 262 days after COVID kicked off worldwide in March 2020.

“Maybe Stockholm Syndrome can now change its name to Melbourne/Australia Syndrome,” wrote Slater. “It’s sad to see the celebrated division by the “virtuous” vaccinated. If you’re vaccinated why are you concerned/worried about anyone else’s status… unless, of course, it doesn’t protect you? Or you’re scared you’ll catch it or upset you had to take the risk of vaccination yourself? So much brainwashed hatred in people’s hearts regardless of vax status.”

Replies and responses followed, Slater  clearly enjoying the chance to educate his many fans.

Here’s a taste.



Kelly Slater’s plans to surf Australian leg of 2022 tour thrown into disarray after world #1 tennis player Novak Djokovic has vax exemption cancelled with the star held under police guard at Melbourne airport!

“This is not a fight for the libertarian world, this is not just a fight for Novak, but a fight for the whole world!”

Yesterday came the news, in a roundabout sorta way, that vaccine sceptic Kelly Slater was still a chance to surf the Australian leg of the tour after world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic secured a vax exemption to compete at the Australian Open in Melbourne.

The decision sparked fury among residents of the most shuttered city in the world who lived through six lockdowns totalling 262 days after COVID kicked off worldwide in March 2020.

Exemptions can be given for reasons such as anaphylactic response to the COVID vaccine, a poor response to vaccination or having had Covid in the last six months.

It wasn’t revealed what reason the Serbian star, who is “personally opposed to vaccination”, gave for his exemption.

Anyway, Australia’s PM stepped in, obvs motivated by the chance to score some easy political points amid a rising fury of his handling of the crisis, tweeted, “Mr Djokovic’s visa has been cancelled. Rules are rules, especially when it comes to our borders. No one is above these rules. Our strong border policies have been critical to Australia having one of the lowest death rates in the world from Covid, we are continuing to be vigilant.”

Djokovic’s daddy was real sad, telling a radio station, “This is not a fight for the libertarian world, this is not just a fight for Novak, but a fight for the whole world!”

The Djokovic decision had opened the door to the greatest of all time to give Australians one more chance to examine his whipped-out flayed heel-ground turns, those little Slater Designs rails sunk to the hilt.

Now, probs no.

Slater, of course, hasn’t been shy in expressing his opinion of the pandemic.

“This is clearly a disease of obese, unhealthy, and elderly if you study the official statistics,” he’s said.

Sweet sweet Country Soul. And, if you want to get on the pingers and dance with beautiful Brazilian men, Byron is an hour and a half north.

One of the world’s great surfer houses, overlooking iconic point wave made famous in Morning of the Earth, set for sale in dying days of bull market!

Kick back in the arms of Angourie's still-warm Country Soul.

The pretty little coastal hamlet of Angourie, separated from the burgeoning town of Yamba five clicks down Angourie Road there, is one of those rare joints that has so far resisted the siren call of development.

Curbless streets, rocks pools, everyone knows everyone, two world-class waves. If you’ve ever seen the 1971 surf classic Morning of the Earth, you’ll know the sequence of Baddy Treloar hacking the point to bits on a board he made in his backyard to the John J Francis song Simple Ben.

The birth of country soul. 

And, now, if you’ve got four-mill or thereabouts, you can get a piece of sweet little Angourie with 65 Pacific Street, the closest joint to the Point and overlooking Yuraygir National Park out the back. Land size is almost seven thousand square feet.

It’s a compelling sell,

The house itself is what sea change dreams are made of. 

A sophisticated and contemporary twist on the classic timber beach house, with some of the most spectacular ocean views you will find anywhere. 

This spacious one-bedroom, one-bathroom beach house includes an open plan living, dining, kitchen area with a covered veranda wrapping around three sides.

The materials, finishes and fixtures used in the home are of the highest quality and pay homage to the surrounding natural landscape. 

A dream for nature watchers, there is a huge range of birds in the surrounding bushland, families of kangaroos who often visit to feed on the grass close to the house and migrating whales which can be seen from the veranda.

Spectacular views of sunrises, moonrises and sunsets from the property are a highlight.

How much to retire to one of the last great surfer houses, which last traded in 1988 for sixty-five gees?

The joint next door sold for four-mill back in May (bought for $420k in 1998) so expect that as a minimum.

Contact the agent, the lovely Janis Perkins, if you got the cash, want to retire to heaven. 

Expressions of interest close February 14.

Photo: Jalil Najafov Instagram
Photo: Jalil Najafov Instagram

Great White Shark goes viral with supernatural scar on back: “There’s no ocean without sharks and no oxygen without the ocean so by saving sharks we save the planet!”


I am now in Milan’s airport waiting to exit this glorious country having just stood in front of Botticelli’s “The Birth of Venus” awed. The amount of art, of tiramisu and Negroni in Italy is positively stupefying. Potentially supernatural and possibly more supernatural than the recent viral sensation of a shark with a “mysterious” bite on its back.

The image, captured by photographer Jalil Najafov, self-described shark enthusiast, conservationist and filmmaker, in Mexico said it “changed his life.”

Najafov was born in Azerbaijan, a country I once visited and impressed by its use of the color yellow and also its lack of nightlife, has been studying and documenting sharks for decades though never saw something like the above.

What could cause such a scar?

Experts immediately ruled out a mating incident wherein sharks apparently love nibble each other and worry began to spread that it was maybe supernatural.

Aliens knowing if the ocean goes, we go, or more poetically stated by Najafov, “There is no ocean without sharks, and no oxygen without the ocean. So by saving sharks, we save the planet.”

His main concern is shark finning but have you ever tasted shark fin soup?

Nowhere near as tasty as tiramisu I’d gamble.


Back to the scar, though.


Ben Gravy?