Tempe, Arizona’s iconic wave tank Big Surf,
made famous in cult movie North Shore, liquidates assets overnight
confounding and devastating inland kids with Pipeline-sized
dreams!
By Chas Smith
Tears fall in the desert.
News broke early yesterday morning that Big
Surf, located in Tempe, Arizona, had begun auctioning off items on
its website. According to the local CBS
affiliate, “Speculation about the future of the water
park started on Wednesday when it was discovered Big Surf was
liquidating most of its assets. Items were put up for auction,
including a 68″ tiki totem, fiberglass slides, a portable zip line,
swimming tubes and more. The website says it ended on Wednesday,
but check-out dates are from Thursday until Feb. 23.”
This news may mean little, or nothing, to many, or most, but
surfers of a certain age recognize Big Surf as the only way inland
kids with Pipeline-sized dreams could make it to Oahu’s North
Shore, meet a beautiful girl and cantankerous surfboard shaper,
befriend the shaper’s glasser, have a few run-ins with local toughs
and eventually beat Laird Hamilton in the water.
Devastating.
CBS reports that, “A punk show called “Punk in Drublic Arizona”
was scheduled to be held at Big Surf on March 19. However, the
show’s website says it has been moved to the Scarizona Festival
Grounds in Mesa.”
Scarizona sounds pretty cool, to be honest.
What was the last live music show you attended?
Mine may have been Father John Misty.
I know. Weird.
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World number one surfer Kelly Slater in
shock loss at Sunset Beach after dramatic interference on John John
Florence, “I don’t like the wave. I don’t like the crowd. I don’t
respect Sunset and it doesn’t respect me back!”
By JP Currie
"Another reason why I hate Sunset," says the
Champ.
It went bad. Real bad. The kind of bad that’s
disturbingly close to being great. I could be telling a whole
different story, but instead it’s the same as it ever was.
Drawing out my bracket yesterday I felt prescient, confident.
The gamblers trap. Feeling like you’re one step ahead.
I got lots right. I knew Barron was beating Italo. I had Slater
to lose to McGillivray regardless. Filipe to beat Billy, Jadson
over Fred, Seth all the way to quarters, Robbo too…
But the others. God, the others.
On that: if god is willing to show up for a Rd of 32 heat for
Caio Ibelli, where the fuck is he for me in the throes of
desperation bets?
I signed off three heats before the end last night. Negligent?
Fuck you.
Stress often manifests as sudden exhaustion for me. I place a
big multi before I go to sleep. It’s the only way. Turn it off and
squeeze my eyes shut. I threw one on the heats remaining (as well
as a couple on NBA games) then closed my eyes and hoped.
I imagine I’ll wake up and all my problems will have been
erased. It’s pure gambling. Chucking money into the void in the
hope it somehow comes back. I might as well be playing slots, or
endlessly piling on my favourite number on the roulette wheel and
trying to burn through it with my eyes in the illogical belief I
can make it stop.
Round and round and round we go.
I didn’t sleep well, drenched in sweat despite the cold. Storms
are lashing most of the country just now. Biblical downpours and
winds tearing trees from the ground. I dashed round the garden
before dark rescuing the boys’ bike ramps that were pinned against
the fence. A neighbour’s polytunnel was shredded. A loose sheet on
the metal roof of the house warped and rattled all night.
Anyway, it’s 5am now and I’m awake to face it.
No euphoric redemption.
I’ve just rewatched the Filipe vs Ewing heat. (I had Filipe,
obviously). Looked good. Can’t argue with that last score for
Ewing. Is this a surfer finally stepping into his destiny? In
appropriate synthesis, this is the guy I’d questioned as the most
overrated surfer in memory just yesterday.
The day got off to a terrible start with Conner’s loss. That
single result was a death knell. He was in most of my multis. (You
know that of course). But beyond that he was also my Surfvival
pick. He’s a surfer whose style I’ve always admired, compounded by
some very pleasant interactions we’ve had in the past. And beyond
that, still, was he not the event sponsor or something? Very
confusing hearing his name in the ads.
But what can you do when the other surfer is doing the lord’s
work? Thanks god, said Caio in his post heat interview with Rosie.
Or words to that effect.
I thought He only showed out for finals day. So aye, cheers, big
man.
It was a bit of a day for Brazilian good-guy journeymen. Ibelli
is through to the quarters on merit and not simply divine
intervention.
Jadson bested Frederico “Timelord” Morais before meeting his
natural end in the round of 16 against Kanoa.
Is it just me, or is Kanoa looking more and more like the
clinical competition machine he was conceived as?
Deivid Silva was a bundle of backhand joy all day. How have I
overlooked him to this point? His post heat interview after
demolishing Callinan in the round of 32 was innocent and pure and
just lovely. I noted the fact it was the first time I’d seen him
interviewed and that he reminded me of a young Italo. An Italo
before his soul was stolen by Instagram.
Silva lost to Barron in the next round but seemed like he
shouldn’t have. Regardless, he’ll be a personal favourite going
forward.
Oh to have faith…
Sunset made Negatron’s negativity look a little negative
today.
The shift in swell direction to a more northerly angle served up
long and hackable walls which seemed to get cleaner all day.
At the start there was still some conjecture from the booth
about old vs new at Sunset. Outside or inside, long or short.
Most of this came from Makua, who had some solid moments today
in which I didn’t completely hate him. Notable were his blunt
corrections of Kaipo’s wittering. “He’s slowly working his way back
into the heat,” said Kaipo of Morgan Ciblic as he registered his
first decent wave and still needed a high nine in the dying
minutes.
“He can’t slowly do anything!” scoffed Makua.
Later, I noted another dismissal of Kaipo’s irreverent and airy
praise, for what or whom I can’t remember, not that it matters.
“This is a four-foot wave,” Makua interrupted. “There’s ten-foot
waves out the back.”
This is all we want. A bit of truth. A bit of reality amidst the
toxic positivity.
Nat Young looked in glimpses like he belonged on tour. He had
clearly gone heavy on the elf elder water at breakfast and was
rewarded with a magical backhand attack, but the elixir wore off
later against Seth. Microdose, Nat, microdose.
I saw glimpses of the fuss about Ethan Ewing today. Something in
his rail line, something in the way he holds his arms, the height
of his elbows as he comes off the top…reminds me of something…
He’s into the quarters, but really he should’ve been out against
Sammy Pupo who was underscored, at least in the context of that
heat.
The judges collectively lost their shit after this.
There was a three heat period that might warrant a few thousand
words alone.
They threw a 9.43 for a single Connor O’Leary backhand re-entry.
Dramatic yes, but it didn’t fit the scale.
Matthew McGillivray’s wave to open against Kelly will be
forgotten in the melee that followed, but the nine awarded was
bizarre.
John went down to Jake Marshall in a heat that tells us
everything we need to know about betting on surfing. Or not, as the
case may be.
After snapping the tail off his board on a top turn, John was
left scrambling. It looked painful and I don’t think I’ve ever seen
a board break like that. Jon Pyzel winced on the beach as JJF’s
crew tried not to side-eye him.
But the story, as always, was Kelly.
Winning or losing, in madness or in rapture, he’s still the most
interesting man on Tour.
In the non-priority heat, Kelly took off on the same wave as
John, bottom turning round the whitewash as Florence got to his
feet. It didn’t interfere with the wave, but it was still an
interference by rule. Kelly knew it immediately, but it would be
some time before he accepted it.
The script had been torn up. There was panic in the booth.
Laura immediately called it as an interference.
“We…we cannot confirm that…”stuttered Kaipo, his voice shaky and
uncertain.
“I retract that,” said Laura.
All of a sudden it had turned into the set of A Few Good
Men.
Then it was confirmed. Kelly was out.
Laura was flummoxed. “He needs a combination right now,” she
said, when McGillivray had already logged a 12.83 and Slater was
only allowed one scoring wave.
McGillivray scuttled to the inside in fear of his life or being
suckered into an interference call by Slater’s low blood sugar
voodoo madness.
Kelly stayed out. He inexplicably went to caddy Jackson Dorian
to swap boards.
“A lot of tension,” was just about all Strider could manage.
It seemed like Kelly might not accept the decision. Did he think
might later bend things to his will with a protest?
The situation turned comical as he refused to leave the water,
refused to leave our consciousness.
Kaipo found the old script. As Kelly wiggled his way down the
line before furiously fluffing the end section, Kaipo was still
calling him the GOAT, the 11 time champ, etc etc, as if nothing had
happened. As if the heat he was surfing to nothing, against nobody,
was in some way meaningful.
Slater continued to float in the line-up after his heat had
finished, stubbornly refusing to leave the peak.
Any other surfer would have been forced to leave, but no-one
knew what to say to the furious man in yellow. So in WSL tradition,
they simply pretended he wasn’t there.
“I don’t like the wave. I don’t like the crowd,” Kelly said in a
rare and glorious WSL post-heat loser interview. “I don’t respect
Sunset and it doesn’t respect me back.”
The fury subsided, he was calmed now, clear-eyed and reasonable,
accepting of his fate. One can but imagine the tortured dreams he’s
having right now.
I feel you, Kelly.
Never stake your life on pro surfing, friends.
On to quarters then.
How are the odds looking? We’ll spin away regardless, because
there’s always a chance.
Mercifully, it’ll be over soon.
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Dirty Water: Surf photography’s greatest
virtuoso Steve Sherman on the “scum of hypocrisy”, the challenge of
the “single permissive sexual standard” and the mystical worship
and absolute domination of Kelly Slater!
By Derek Rielly
Surfing's most loved and most exploited worker!
Today’s guest on Dirty Water is surf photography and
surf journalism’s greatest virtuoso, the American Steve
Sherman.
Over the course of thirty years, maybe even a little more, our
guest has captured, in a manner one can only describe as iconic,
pivotal events in the sport, from Kelly Slater’s multiple world
titles to Andy Irons at his great peak in the early 2000s, to a
naked four-time world champ to a chance encounter at a bar with
surfing’s first, and still, openly gay male surfer smooching
Kelly.
Our guest is a raw and emotional man who will gobble up
everything on the breakfast tray and whom I once accidentally
killed due to a very poor sense of humour and a lack of
understanding of the severity of diabetes.
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Australian surfer complains of feeling
lackadaisical in months following horror wipeout; x-ray shows nose
of surfboard embedded perilously close to brain!
By Derek Rielly
"If I wasn’t surfing every day and keeping it clean
then the infection would've gone to my brain or spine and I would
have been a vegetable.”
A pivotal member of the Kirra Boardriders’ club, one of
the best collection of shredders in Australia, has narrowly avoided
becoming what used to be called “a vegetable” but is now correctly
noted as “being in a vegetative state” after x-rays showed
the nose of his surfboard near his brain, seven months after a
wipeout.
Damien Rogers, who is nineteen, blew out his hamstring at D-Bah
in July, 2020, making him fall and hit his head on his
board.
Docs cleaned the hole in his head and stitched it closed leaving
a four cm x two cm piece of surfboard in his head.
“I haven’t felt myself for the last seven month. I have had a
lack of energy and I’d get headaches.”
A pal’s mum, a nurse, saw a photo of his still-unhealed wound
and said he might wanna get to hozzy and have it checked
out.
“I went in on Tuesday last week and they found the piece of
board after doing some scans.”
Surgeons at Gold Coast University Hospital opened the teen up
and scooped out the hunk of fibreglass.
“The doctors were surprised I was still walking around. They
said if I wasn’t surfing every day and keeping it clean from the
salt water then the infection would have gone to my brain or spine
and I would have been a vegetable.”
Just prior to the op, Rogers ate up the Gold Coast’s Cyclone
Dovi swell.
“I’m so lucky I didn’t fall on any of those waves and hit my
head again.”
Watch him pull into a closeout at 2:43 of the vid.
Out of the water, now, for six months or so.
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Open Thread: Comment Live on Day Two of the
Hurley Pro Sunset Beach presented by Shiseido!
By Chas Smith
You actually CAN script this!
Professional surf fans were shocked and
delighted, yesterday, during the opening and elimination
rounds of the Hurley Pro Sunset Beach presented by Shiseido, when
after years of being thought impossible, it was proved that you
can, in fact, script this.
11x world champion and recently crowned Pro Pipeline Kelly
Slater looked very much defeated after a shaky heat against
Ultimate Surfer runner-up Koa Smith but was miraculously given
reprieve by the judges.