World’s greatest athlete Kelly Slater
launches personal fusillade at Australian prime minister over
inaction during calamitous flooding, “Nothing sort of
appalling”
By Derek Rielly
"Scott Morrison is actually the biggest joke in
Australian history."
The world’s greatest athlete and current world #2 surfer
Kelly Slater has slammed the Australian prime minister Scott
Morrison for his government’s dreadful inaction, a trademark of
his administration, during calamitous flooding on the country’s
north-east coast.
Morrison, who is a fifty-three-year-old former child actor
(tellingly, he played cunning pickpocket, the Artful Dodger in
Oliver), is famous for holidaying in Hawaii while Australian burned
during the cataclysmic bushfires of 2109.
“I don’t hold a hose, mate,” Morrison explained of his vacay
during a disaster that killed almost five hundred and incinerated
eighty million acres of land.
While posting messages from fans about the flooding, Slater
wrote, “The lack of federal assistance in the flood zones in
northern NSW has been nothing short of appalling. The stories from
friends are hard to comprehend. But the gathering of local
communities has been inspiring to watch from afar. So while the MP
@scottmorrisonmp and cohorts pat themselves on the back or poke fun
at people who ‘live in the gum trees’, the communities will
continue to get on with the tasks at hand in helping their
neighbors.
Twitter and Instagram users were mostly universal in their
praise of Slater’s pointed criticism.
“The greatest surfer of all time has just fly kicked the worst
Prime Minster of all time,” wrote one,
although another fired back with,
“Kelly Slater is NOT the best ‘surfer’ in history … don’t you
people have access to books?”
Weird.
If not Kelly, who?
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"If you had a certain ranking in the Pit, you
were allowed to wear a Panama hat and stripes on your trunks. It
was like being a commander with bars on your shoulders. The hat and
the stripes were people’s way of knowing you were somebody without
knowing your name. Then they got to know your name real quick. Rank
and file." Brad Barrett/EOS
One-time prince of Malibu, foil of Miki
Dora and inspiration to VAL surfer icon Jonah Hill, dies suddenly,
“A pointbreak genius with lightning-fast feet and a wicked
grin!”
By Matt Warshaw
"If he'd hit his wave-riding peak in 2022 instead
of 1965, he'd be the hottest thing in America surfing."
Johnny Fain of Malibu died yesterday at age
78.
A pointbreak genius with lightning-fast feet and a wicked grin,
Fain famously dueled in and out of the water with Miki Dora in the
early- and mid-’60s—it was a show they put on, and it was a great
one, except that it left Fain in Dora’s shadow, which was unfair to
Johnny.
He was thought of by some as a blowhard, but from here it all
looks like grand beach theater, and if Fain hit his wave-riding
peak in 2022 instead of 1965, he’d be the hottest thing in America
surfing.
“Even though I was the youngest surfer at Malibu [around 1958],
I kept up with the older guys. That was the challenge. That’s what
helped my drive. I knew if I didn’t keep up, I was gone. Later on,
I got a Panama hat, and that was a big deal. If you had a certain
ranking in the Pit, you were allowed to wear a Panama hat and
stripes on your trunks. It was like being a commander with bars on
your shoulders. The hat and the stripes were people’s way of
knowing you were somebody without knowing your name. Then they got
to know your name real quick. Rank and file.⠀
⠀
“I was lucky because I had plenty of time to surf. My mother
[Jeanne Bartlett] was a professional writer—she wrote the
screenplay for Son of Lassie, the film that made Peter Lawford a
star. My dad owned and operated Malibu TV. The chores I had at home
were minimal. That helped me tremendously. While most kids were out
doing their paper route or some other odd job, I was in the water
advancing to new heights. I remember thinking of the Indy 500 while
I surfed, I’m passing people in my Formula One race car, pitting
myself against the wave, pushing myself to the limit. I wanted to
see how far I could go to defy the force of gravity. Only the
equipment was holding me back.”⠀
⠀ RIP to a true
original. ⠀
⠀
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Surfer attacked by shark near site of last
month’s fatal mauling on a swimmer by fifteen-foot Great White; hit
follows warning by shark expert, “It’s a dangerous time to
surf!”
By Derek Rielly
"WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SURF IN FLOODED AREAS OF
AUSTRALIA RIGHT NOW."
The level of shark activity in Australia is, how do you
say, off the hook, off the charts?
Yesterday a swimmer was rammed by a Great White at a popular
surf beach in Western Australia; a few weeks ago a girl on an
inflatable toy was bitten in the guts by a Great
White, in September last year, a surfer was killed
near Coffs Harbour; a few months before that another surfer was
killed in a shallow-water attack by a Great White at Tuncurry a few
hours south; before that, fifteen-year-old Mani Hart-Deville at
Wooli, dead, Rob Pedretti, Kingscliff, dead, Laeticia, dead, Gary,
dead, Sharpy, dead, Paul, all dead. Killed by Great Whites in the
space of a couple of years.
Shortly before the latest attack, over on Instagram
@sharkgirlmadison was warning of the likelihood of attacks, not by
Great White, but by Bulls.
“IT’S A DANGEROUS TIME TO SURF. Please be safe. Tag a surfer
friend…”
Lifeguards have cleared the water at Maroubra, beach closed.
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Griff, happy at SeaWorld. WSL
WSL ignores looming swell as world’s best
surfers “castrated by the conditions like orcas at Seaworld” during
finals day at MEO Pro Portugal
By JP Currie
Once again it seems God is the only man with a more
inexplicable interest in pro surfing than Dirk Ziff.
Let’s see the wood rather than the trees and not look
for poetry where there’s clearly none.
Let’s just be frank.
Those finals were fucking boring.
The world’s best were castrated by the conditions like orcas at
Seaworld. They forced themselves to perform a few pumps then a
flaccid air. Sometimes they were made, often they were not. Never
did they have much verve or drama.
Is it just me or do surfers in general lack a little imagination
when it comes to airs?
I’m no expert, and while I like watching the likes of Italo and
Filipe’s ariel surfing, I don’t love it. It’s a bit too predictable
and repetitive, 360-ish rotations frontside or backside,
distinguished only by moderate degrees of height and how clean the
landing is.
Not that interesting.
What about some variations in grabs? Some tweaking here or
there?
It would’ve been fun to surf today.
Peniche sparkled in the morning sun and little glassy runners at
Supertubos looked nothing like the reason we hold World
Championship Tour events there, but everything like the days most
of us surf for.
I think this is the mealy-mouthed point Kaipo was trying to make
when Pete shut him down and we were treated to a brilliant few
seconds of awkwardness.
If you’ll allow me to paraphrase for clarity, Kaipo thought the
performances we were seeing were relatable to all surfers.
“Well, if they can get above the lip,” Pete noted bluntly.
Kaipo drew breath as if about to speak, twice.
But he was flummoxed. Entirely lost for words.
He just stared in silence, his face painted with the mild strain
of a man pushing out a big shite.
If tiny, inconsequential waves to tickle the fancy of amateur
surfers wasn’t befitting of finals day, then at least we had four
of the men best equipped to do special things in marginal
conditions, right?
You might reasonably have thought so.
But the best wave of the day was to be Italo’s backside rotation
at the opening of the first semi-final. It was clean and ominous. A
typical power move that Italo often pulls first thing in a heat
then repeats and repeats until his opponent crumbles in the face of
sheer energy.
The 8.83 awarded seemed reasonable, but his board died on the
landing. The board he swapped out for was a dog. He was out of
sorts, out of rhythm, couldn’t make a thing.
Strider pointed out that not all boards feel the same, and while
we can surely agree with this, I think too much is made of it in
the modern day.
Far more foibles exist in the mind rather than the fabric of the
board.
Nothing interesting happened beyond Italo’s board break which
snapped the energy of the heat. Both surfers sat apart, either
content to let the other do his thing, or in such a deep state of
loathing that they couldn’t tolerate the same airspace.
I have no evidence, but I strongly suspect it’s the latter.
Filipe and Italo may be countrymen but they don’t appear to be
friends. There was no handshake at the end. There wasn’t even
eye-contact.
Italo sat in his jersey long after the heat was done, silent and
seething.
Can we make something of this please, WSL?
It’s a rivalry that could make for some interesting competition.
God knows we need it.
What’s wrong with Italo anyway? Maybe he needs to re-find the
joy and stop taking himself so seriously.
Who are his friends on Tour? He often seems to cut a solo
figure, not part of any crew, surfing alone in the dark, only ever
seen with his girlfriend or coach.
He looks very much like a man who’s drawn a circle around
himself many miles away from the person he once was.
Griffin beat John in the second semi-final in entirely
unremarkable fashion. Florence seemed as deflated by the conditions
as we were. There was a lackadaisical tone to his efforts, as if
he’d thrown in the towel before he’d paddled out.
Meanwhile, Griffin was applauding himself for smashing out a few
backhand turns on a one-foot wave. It wasn’t very zen and more than
a little embarrassing. John felt it, too.
I’ll refer you to my predictions of yesterday about John
sticking with it. A few more heats like these will surely kill his
motivation once and for all.
And would you blame him?
I enjoyed hearing the Brazilian surfers speak their native
language during this comp. I think it tells you something about a
person to hear them speak in their own tongue. How long have we
known Filipe now, and we’ve never heard him speak anything other
than slightly Americanised English? You lose something of a person
like this.
The final between Griffin and Filipe was so uneventful I can’t
think of a single thing to note other than what the two men did to
prepare.
Filipe hosted a prayer meeting, apparently.
Once again it seems God is the only man with a more inexplicable
interest in pro surfing than Dirk Ziff.
Griffin did calisthenics and ate strawberry laces,
presumably.
The WSL curtain of silence was pulled regarding wave
quality.
Make no mistake, friends, with six full days remaining in the
waiting period and the forecast significantly improved over the
past 24 hours, the WSL have seriously fucked this up. Solid swell
is on the way with variable but light winds and the potential for
offshores and some very clean conditions. Go have a look.
Besides, when did this stop being a mobile event?
There are a ton of quality beachbreaks to the north of the
peninsula that are offshore when the wind isn’t ideal at
Supertubos.
Why not move there? It’s been done in the past.
Griffin being chaired up the beach amid a thin, apathetic crowd
(barring one close friend who screamed repeatedly) was an enduring
image of how desolate pro surfing can be when the WSL make basic
errors.
Priority number one is facilitating the right conditions for
performance by making good calls, and in Portugal this was not
done.
And what of my favourite elephant in the room? What of Gabriel
Medina?
I miss him more than ever.
Looking at his recent Instagram feed vs what we’ve just seen in
Portugal it would seem like he has no regrets tonight. How ironic
would it be if he has packed it in for good? It would be in stark
defiance of everyone’s expectations and judgements of his
character. But if you don’t create the conditions for the likes of
Gabby and John to show what they can do then you risk losing
them.
Does Medina go to Australia, do you think? The current ratings
still seem primed for him to join late and slot in as if he’s never
been away. I hope so.
Come home soon, Gabby.
The current top five surfers in the world are Kanoa Igarashi,
Kelly Slater, Barron Mamiya, Filipe Toledo and Seth Moniz.
How do you feel about that?
MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Men’s Semifinals
Results:
SF 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 13.67 def. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 12.66
SF 2: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 12.40 def. John John Florence (HAW)
10.50
MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Women’s Semifinal
Results:
SF 1: Lakey Peterson (USA) 12.34 def. Stephanie Gilmore (AUS)
12.00
SF 2: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 10.76 def. Carissa Moore (HAW)
10.17
MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Men’s Final
Results:
1 – Griffin Colapinto (USA) 14.34
2 – Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.20
MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Women’s Final
Results:
1 – Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 15.33
2 – Lakey Peterson (USA) 14.27
Men’s Top 5:
1) Kanoa Igarashi
2) Kelly Slater
3) Barron Mamiya
4) Filipe Toledo
5) Seth Moniz
Women’s Top 5:
1) Brisa Hennessy
2) Carissa Moore
3) Lakey Peterson
4) Tatiana Weston-Webb
5) Malia Manuel
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Dewy-eyed legions descend upon iconic
Newport, Rhode Island surf shop to pay tribute to “voice of the
people” and most core surfer there ever was Sid Abruzzi!
By Chas Smith
The Package.
I was fortunate enough to have met Sid Abruzzi
in person, once, though in Florida not his home state of Rhode
Island. He was there, at Surf Expo, milling about with a small
crew, and we immediately hit it off, laughing about this and that,
yellow beanies etc., wandering to his hotel for warm beers in a
warm night to keep the laughs going.
There was something about him so unique, so utterly
self-possessed, as to cast a dull light on me and everyone else who
had attempted to make “surf” “life” but pulled the punch somewhere
along the way.
Abruzzi has never pulled a punch. You can, and should, read
Steve Rees’ profile (here) or listen
to his gravely sneer (here) but in
the meantime, it must be noted that his iconic surf shop, Water
Bros., is set to close at the end of the month, being pushed out to
make way for new rental properties.
There already was a steady stream of patrons, friends and
fans flowing into Water Brothers surf and skate shop during the
first hour it was open on Saturday.
By noon, the crowd blossomed into the dozens, filling the
small retail space with a seemingly endless supply of memories and
stories to share about the owner, Sid Abbruzzi, and his 50-year-old
business.
“Sid’s always landed on his feet,” said Newport resident and
skatepark advocate Michael Richards. “Water Brothers is so much
more than a shop on Memorial Boulevard. One way or another, he’ll
find another spot. Sid will always have a spot in
Newport.”
The whole piece is moving, a nice tribute to who Abruzzi is and
what he means, and I very much look forward to the opening of his
new location, wherever it might be.