Stranded dolphin dead after Texans
“attempted to swim with and ride the sick animal”; In Florida,
Dolphin begging for food “impaled in the head with a spear-like
object while alive!”
By Derek Rielly
Carnage!
A female dolphin found stranded on a Texan beach is dead
after she was “pushed back to sea where beachgoers attempted to
swim with and ride the sick animal.”
The Texas Marine Mammal Stranding Network reports the dolphin, a
cute little six-footer, was found at Quintana Beach along the Gulf
of Mexico there.
“(She) was further harassed by a crowd of people on the beach
where she later died before rescuers could arrive on scene. This
type of harassment causes undue stress to wild dolphins, is
dangerous for the people who interact with them, and is illegal,
punishable by fines and jail time if convicted.”
Meanwhile in Florida, NOAA Fisheries are looking for the killers
of a bottlenose dolphin, an adult lactating female, found dead on
Fort Myers Beach, seven miles of sugary white sand famous for its
“dolphin eco-tours.”
A necropsy, non-human autopsy, revealed “the dolphin was impaled
in the head with a spear-like object while alive.”
Speared.
“Based on the shape, size and characteristics of the wound, it
is suspected that the dolphin was impaled while in a begging
position,” NOAA said in a statement. “Begging is not a natural
behavior for dolphins and is frequently associated with illegal
feeding.”
Probs worth noting that killing or torturing dolphins, mammals
that are smart as hell as well as photogenic, in these parts can
result in a fine of a hundred gees or a year in the
pen.
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Igarashi (pictured) being violent.
Heartthrob and current World Surf League
number one Kanoa Igarashi unveils new claim described as “sending
the wrong message” and “triggering” by important culture
watchdogs!
By Chas Smith
"Extremely violent."
Now, I did not happen to catch current World Surf League number
one and Olympic silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi’s heat against the
much-loved Mick Fanning but was surprised when I had learned of his
loss. Igarashi has won many of his critics over, during this first
portion of professional surfing’s calendar, with an elevated style
and surgical beheading of foes.
Coming into Bells, the Japanese surfer by way of Huntington
Beach and Portugal, seemed to be building the proverbial “house,”
as it were, but things may have come straight undone at Bells.
After completing a lightly above average ride, Igarashi
violently punched his own face in an extreme act of celebration. He
went on to lose the heat, and maybe his position in the standings
if Filipe Toledo continues his run of being able to surf small
waves very well, but the reverberations from “The Punch” are
continuing to, well, reverberate.
Important culture watchdogs have called the move “triggering”
and declare that “it sends the wrong message” especially in this
day and age when stopping Asian hate is paramount.
Were you disturbed? Saddened? Will Igarashi’s personal brand
suffer if he is, in fact, marked as “anti-Asian”?
David Lee and I discussed on today’s podcast along with the
implosion we are currently witnessing inside the World Surf League
itself. Unprecedented days.
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Captive dolphin rounds viciously on trainer
in front of applauding children while surfer on Wavestorm panic
paddles in opposite direction!
By Chas Smith
Such metaphor.
This world does get stranger and stranger every
single day. Who could ever have predicted that the World Surf
League’s patented Wall of Positive Noise would sustain its first
crack at the hands of Kolohe Andino and twenty-eight other signers
of a petition to do away with the mid-year tour cut? That CEO Erik
Logan would snarl back, white teeth gleaming, “NO!” That a captive
dolphin would round on its trainer in front of applauding Floridian
children while a surfer on Wavestorm panic paddled away?
But such are our times.
The woman who shot the clip of the dolphin told Miami’s Channel 7 News,
““[It] looked like the dolphin rammed into the trainer. There was a
struggle, some kind of collision under water happened. The lady on
the paddleboard, she paddled out of the water pretty quick, and
then the lead trainer started swimming back towards the dock, and
it looked like she got ran into a couple more times.”
People for the ethical treatment of animals responded, “Time is
up for the Miami Seaquarium, where long-suffering dolphins
desperately need protection and workers are at risk. PETA urges
this abusement park to end its exploitation of dolphins by getting
them to sanctuaries as quickly as possible, so that they’d never be
used in tawdry shows again and no one else would get hurt.”
Who, in this tableau, is the professional surfers, who is ELo
and who is the surf fan?
Such metaphor.
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Jetski war, Connor O'Leary, lead, Filipe
Toledo, behind, with Filipe the eventual winner for priority.
“Baffling” jetski war, threat of a surfer
boycott and CEO’s stunning retort punctures WSL’s wall of positive
noise on red-letter day of surfing at Rip Curl Pro Bells
Beach!
By JP Currie
How about Gabriel Medina as the sponsor wildcard
for the September finals at Lowers? Elo, you want entertainment?
That's it.
Early comment section noise told me Bells was off
today. I kind of needed it to be.
A few days of no sleep and concealed losses will do that to a
man. To add to the indignity, yesterday morning I woke to find
money that was paid out to me in error had been rescinded. I
should’ve known better and withdrawn it.
But run we did, and Bells looked just about as clean and
appealing as I’ve ever seen it. It’s a wave that looks relatable
for a significant proportion of surf fans, and from that
perspective I think it occupies an important space amid the likes
of Teahupo’o and Pipe.
The day began with a highly entertaining backhand battle between
Owen Wright and Nat Young, two men whom I find it hard to separate
in skill or likeability.
Both performed and either would have been a worthy winner. The
final separation of less than a point told the same tale.
In the course of writing yesterday’s recap and smarting about
the money that had been snatched from my account, I convinced
myself that Nat Young might win the event. The odds of 22/1 seemed
to confirm my gut, 22 being my lucky number. Classic gambler’s
trap.
Somewhere between residual memories of Occy, Medina and Italo
lies an imprint on my conscience that Bells looks best when
attacked with hitchless backhand flow. Maybe the fact that a
backhand bottom turn is naturally longer and makes up the space
between the sections at Bells is key.
Owen, Italo and Miguel Pupo are the remaining goofy surfers in
the draw.
As a former winner and a surfer in need of a victory to quell
inner demons, Italo seems the most likely of these three to end up
as a winner, but all have impressed to this stage.
Heat 3 between Toledo and O’Leary was dominated not just by
Filipe’s incisive surfing but by a jetski race which caused much
consternation.
Ronnie was perplexed.
Both men had finished waves and were on skis at the same time,
Toledo just behind. First back to the line-up would be given
priority, a major advantage late in a heat, but particularly in
conditions like today. There were lots of waves at Bells, but the
best ones were clearly advantageous.
They dismounted the skis around the same time, but Toledo’s
dropped him off fractionally ahead of O’Leary and he skimmed off
more efficiently, likely because he weighs 50kg. Connor’s longer
levers and superior paddle power nearly got priority back, but in
the end Filipe’s ski dismount prowess was to be the decisive
factor.
Ronnie couldn’t seem to leave it be. Filipe and Italo get off
skis better than anyone, was his assertion. This was later
contradicted by Italo faceplanting off a ski. Bugs had a minor
glitch and said something about the Melbourne Gold Cup.
Mick Fanning and Callum Robson surfed a high-tide heat that
started slow with errors for both.
With 20 minutes to go neither man had an acceptable scoring
wave. Fanning locked in two sixes to Robson’s pair of fives. Mick
had a little bit of “extra sugar” on his turns, according to
Richie, but Robson’s final wave to take the victory with a minute
on the clock was a worthy winner, ridden fast and clean.
If anything, it looked like vintage Mick.
Kaipo in his watery cell referred to Mick’s “panted swoop”, then
went on to say that it was “really impressive to see the velocity
in which these boards and these surfers are travelling through
these conditions.”
Robson has a very pleasing style. I have a deep appreciation for
a stickerless plain white board.
I have a little inkling that this might not be the last we’ve
seen of Fanning in a jersey.
In the same mould as the likes of Kelly or Medina, he’s a
competitive beast, and you can only keep the beast concealed for so
long. As much as he talked about “having fun” in the aftermath and
“getting off the grid”, I suspect he might be back, carried by a
surge of enduring popularity and inherent competitive drive.
And why not? He looked great and nothing at all like a retiree.
If anything he looked like he was building momentum heat by heat
and rediscovering the old rhythm.
Is there a sponsor wildcard for the finals at Trestles? Would
they? Could they?
Even better, how about Medina as the sponsor wildcard for the
finals?
Ooooohhh…the very thought of that sends a tingle down my spine.
Can you imagine how it would make the Top 5 feel?
Seed sown, make it happen,
ELo. You want entertainment? That’s it.
Broadcast note of the day: please stop asking Bugs and Richie
what they “love” about waves just surfed. Joe and Shannon are the
worst offenders, and I suspect it’s an American tick, but it’s an
annoying and leading question.
Not everything is great. It’s ok not to love things.
Despite being in the quarter finals, space cowboy Jack Robbo has
slipped under my radar at this event.
“You just have to feel it within and just be free out there,” he
told Laura in his post-heat interview.
What have I missed? Any surfing of note? Cosmic occurrences?
And what of Brother? Poor, doomed Kolohe. He should be a
gambler’s dream, an eternal favourite that always loses, but he’s
no-one’s dream.
His face makes me sad. That’s all I have to say about that.
Did Italo black out in the final heat of the day? He only caught
three waves in the entire heat and ousted Sammy Pupo by just 0.27
points.
When have you known Italo to catch so few waves? I would guess
this is the fewest waves Italo has caught in a heat in his entire
career. A bold guess, maybe, but I’m confident in the assertion. He
didn’t catch a wave in the final 20 mins! That’s not Italo.
Somewhat odd, particularly when Pupo was going for it under Italo’s
priority.
It was a glimpse into how you might beat Italo (take note,
Filipe) and that’s to use his own regular tactics against him – get
busy, be relentless, go for the Hollywood ending. Only those with
dynamic and explosive aerial skills might be capable of this, of
course.
It would be remiss of me not to finish with some brief
commentary on ELo’s hammer-fisted letter in response to the group
of surfers who delivered him a petition to abandon plans for a
cut.
His response was unequivocal. It was akin to someone starting a
pub fight in which they are completely overmatched, the result
being a nonchalant headbutt, a bloodied nose and everyone turning
back to their drinks, slightly embarrassed for the victim.
It’s occurred to me over the past few days that it doesn’t
matter what we think of ELo anymore. He’s no Sophie Goldmember, nor
Backwards Fins Beth.
His understanding of surf culture is by-the-by. He and his
personal photographer can take SUP trips to Tavarua and we will
look on, grim but silenced.
Much like the way he dealt with Chas Smith (you know, like what
Hulk does to Loki in the first Avengers movie) he has taken the WSL
by the throat.
“Inconceivable” was how he responded to the petition to get rid
of the cut. “I want to be very clear,” he said, twice in three
sentences.
Oh, he was gracious in his use of the second person, it’s all
for “you”.
Growth, excitement, narratives, engagement, revenue, future! It
was all there.
He even used statistics to ram home his point. “Consumption” of
Bells was up 35%! (I bet Griffin is still staring squinty-eyed at
that one.)
I told you, he said. You agreed to this, he said.
Now sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
Thanks, ELo, I’ll take that letter into work for a lesson on
persuasive writing.
Or maybe cunty writing. That’s a unit I’m yet to develop, but
thanks for the material.
A suggested punt to go out on a high for Finals Day: Toledo /
Sea Tiger double – 34/1
And a tempting single: Toledo to beat JJF – 31/20
An even better bet?
Pro surfing’s going to get better, just not on your terms.
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Men’s Round of 16
Results:
HEAT 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 16.40 DEF. Nat Young (USA) 15.77
HEAT 2: Ethan Ewing (AUS) 14.27 DEF. Jackson Baker (AUS) 9.10
HEAT 3: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 16.26 DEF. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
13.00
HEAT 4: John John Florence (HAW) 17.77 DEF. Morgan Cibilic (AUS)
7.83
HEAT 5: Callum Robson (AUS) 14.50 DEF. Mick Fanning (AUS) 14.27
HEAT 6: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 14.76 DEF. Kolohe Andino (USA) 10.90
HEAT 7: Jack Robinson (AUS) 16.04 DEF. Imaikalani deVault (HAW)
14.53
HEAT 8: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 15.40 DEF. Samuel Pupo (BRA) 15.13
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Men’s Quarterfinal
Matchups:
HEAT 1: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Ethan Ewing (AUS)
HEAT 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. John John Florence (HAW)
HEAT 3: Callum Robson (AUS) vs. Miguel Pupo (BRA)
HEAT 4: Jack Robinson (AUS) vs. Italo Ferreira (BRA)
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Women’s Semifinal
Matchups:
HEAT 1: Courtney Conlogue (USA) vs. Tyler Wright (AUS)
HEAT 2: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Brisa Hennessy (CRI)
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Tough times for Russki surfers in Bali.
Vladimir Putin confirmed for Bali’s G20
summit meeting as Russian surfers complain of being locked out of
the island’s cash machines in retaliation for Ukraine imbroglio,
“We have lost our money! Our funds are frozen! We have big
problem!”
By John Kennedy
Russian/Bali fact corner: An average of 1,150
Russians are pouring into Bali monthly.
It has been confirmed that, despite his bad judgement in
world affairs, Russian President Vladimir Putin intends to join
the G20 Summit in Bali, beginning November 15,
2022.
Rumored former supermodel and Lyudmila Vorobieva, currently the
Russian Ambassador to Indonesia, was quoted saying her war criminal
boss would show up despite, “A chorus of voices calling for the
Russian Federation’s ouster from the G20. Which is obviously
an inappropriate reaction to current circumstances”.
Vorobieva said, “Any move to remove Russia from
the G20 would represent a retreat for an organization
established to respond to the world economic crisis caused
by COVID-19 and unite global forces to meet global
economic challenges”.
Now it’s anyone guess if “Vlad the Impaler” Putin’s visit to
Bali will have any side effect on his fellow comrades here being
able to use the local ATM machines.
Most Russian surfers in Bali are encountering big problems
trying to get money out of them.
One tall, incredibly handsome Russian surfer (I thought
everybody was starving in breadlines over there?) complained he
couldn’t access his blocked Russian bank account from any ATM in
Bali. ‘
“This created big problem for us. We have lost our money, our
funds frozen, Russian money werry bad here”.
This son of an oligarch went on to say that he might actually
have to find actual work in Bali. Something he has never had to do
before.
Russian/Bali fact corner: An average of 1,150 Russians are
pouring into Bali monthly. Many of them dispersed into the Canggu
line-ups on all manner of softops. And, my God, are the Bikini clad
Russian females a heart racing sight.
To help out with the funky ATM’s, the Russian Embassy in Jakarta
explained that the Russian Bank Pochta is offering
a “virtual” credit card using Union Pay
China instead of Visa or Mastercard.
In response to Russians trying to use these things, one Aussie
surf cafe owner in Canggu was over said in Mandarin, “Nǐ dàodǐ zài
zuò shénme.” (Which means “What in the hell are you doing? Where my
money?”).
Hard times, hard times.
Hopefully Putin will be smart enough to exchange all his rubles
for Rupiahs at the airport.
