Jordy talks head judge Pritamo Ahrendt through his version of what he believed was a paddle interference in his round of 32 heat with Jackson Baker.

Wild behind-the-scenes drama at Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach as surfers threaten to boycott next event at Margaret River in protest at mid-year cut, “Tensions flaring… people in tears. Men and women united!”

Western Australian leg under threat as pro surfers mobilise against mid-year tour cut!

Wild scenes at the steamy surf ghetto of Torquay, that plastic bubble of windswept hairdos and teen sexpots, with both sides of the pro surfing gender divide united in their hate for this year’s mid-year tour cut. 

The cut, which erases anyone below 22 in the men, ten in the women, comes into play after the next event at  Margaret River; for slow-to-start tour rookies it means their career in the big leagues is over before it’s even begun. For Owen Wright, the biggest name to fall, it spells the end of fifteen years on tour. 

Our man on the ground says there is “talk of a boycott. There was a surfer’s meeting with Jessi Miley-Dyer on-site at Bells and tensions flaring, some people in tears. Men and women united, not happy with mid-year cut off, not happy with Challenger series calendar.” 

Jordy Smith, who lost in controversial circumstances in the round of 32 after the judges weren’t convinced by a paddle interference that would’ve won him the heat, alluded to the boycott in his post-heat presser.

When asked about his Margs prep, the world number nine sighed deeply and said, “I’m not sure, yet. There’s a lot of chat between the surfers’ groups about what’s on with the cut and everything. I’ll wait and see what comes of that.” 

What a story, yes?


A boycott!

The existence of the Western Australian leg of the tour threatened.

This is what sport is about!

A little excitement etc.

The on-site interviewer, the usually fabulous Ms Laura Enever, however, quickly cut the interview short lest anyone’s pulse race.

“Amazing. Thanks Jordy.”

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

Comment live, day four, Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach, “A day of reckoning! Incredible stories to tell!” says world champ

Come for the laughs as action gets hot.

Huber (pictured) gazes out on paradise lost.
Huber (pictured) gazes out on paradise lost.

40-acre wave tank receives long-awaited final approval in small Washington town causing grief and panic to spread among elderly locals: “The surf park will take everything I loved about this area away from us!”

To dream an impossible dream.

For six long years, Joey Lawrence has had a dream. A dream to bring world-class waves to the middle of Washington state. A dream to have surfers drive east instead of Westport. A dream that shakas would replace apples as the local signifier and days ago that dream forced itself into reality.

The Blossom alum and partner Mike Roy received final approval to begin digging Barreled Surf Park on an 80-acre site in Moxee, near… nothing. It will cost an estimated $30 million and utilize Wavegarden’s wonderfully accessible technology. The official plans include, “a 5.5-acre wave pool, 21 RV spaces, 21 campsites and 23 lodging units, with food service to include a restaurant/food truck. Other amenities include a fitness studio, skate park, dog park, fire pit and beach volleyball area, with surfboard and wetsuit rentals available.”

Lawrence took to Facebook and declared, “Today, a milestone was achieved. We’ve just been given the Hearing Examiner’s decision approving our Conditional Land Use Permit and our proposal to bring surfing to the Yakima Valley. Proudly, we are now the second @wavegarden_official (wavegarden technology) project to achieve this approval in the United States.”

Not everyone is so thrilled, though. Local residents, especially elderly ones, fear their cherished  way of life is about to be shattered.

Laurie Huber has owned a home in the area for 27-years and told the local NBC affiliate, “I have dreams too, but I would make sure I wouldn’t take someone else’s dream away to accomplish that dream. [The surf park will] take everything I loved about this area away from us, our house is paid for, we’re remodeling, we planned on retiring in this house.”

She may also worries that fans of early 90s television programing will flock, along with surfers, to hear Lawrence’s iconic catch phrase “Whoa.”

Dark days.

Help: Middle-aged surf journalist attempts to understand modern, mostly male and cryptic, hand gestures a decade after they should have crested!

But what does the OK and devil horn admixture mean?

Legitimately, I have been struggling with folk, especially male folk, holding their handsies up and doing fingering things for the camera for years and years and years. Maybe even a decade. The ironic shaka I understand (see here) but pointers, peace signs, love fingers, sideways peace signs, kinked out OKs feat. devil horns?

Why do the youth do when a cellular phone camera is brought out? What in the world is being thought when doing?

Let us examine the above photograph, maybe not from cellular phone, featuring surfing champion-adjacent Kanoa Igarashi and Formula One star Yuki Tsunoda doing the stuff.

Igarashi is throwing some OK and devil horn admixture. Does it mean anything? Tsunoda is going more standard two fingers pointing at Igarashi but a little weird and crooked. What does that mean?

Why do the youth do?


I feel we help each other understand the wild times in which we live.

Help me help you.

Mason Barnes slaughters a rhino at Naz!

Dirty Water: Breakthrough big-wave surfer Mason Barnes on riding a 126.5-foot wave, “When it came in it looked terrifying. I almost didn’t go!”

How to wrangle and kill rhinos!

Today on Dirty Water we introduce a new interviewer, the wildly Australian ex-pat Ben Mondy who lives, paradoxically, amid the bucolic loveliness of England.

Despite the naked skull, piggish eyes and sanctimonious voice Mondy has an every-man appears that electrifies the interior of any room.

And, as a journalist, he towers over me and Chas.

His guest is the North Carolina surfer Mason Barnes who shattered the mythical 100-foot wave barrier at Portugal’s Nazaré one month ago.


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A post shared by Mason Hyce Barnes (@masonhycebarnes)

The mathematics are simple.

Mason Barnes is 6’2” inches tall.

In his crouch on this wave he is 5’ 5” inches tall.

From crest to trough the face of this wave measures 23 units of Mason’s crouching height of 5’5” inches.

23 X 5’5” = 126.5 feet.

Wild etc.