Kelly Slater. But also, do you have any further thoughts or feeling regarding the World Surf League’s much-derided (by the mainstream media) mid-season cut wherein any male championship tour surfer ranked 22 or lower, and any female championship tour surfer ranked 10 or lower, was told to pack their belongings and make their way into Margaret River’s picturesque vineyards where a surprise guillotine was waiting to lop off their heads?
Any last impressions?
Well, blood orgy over, the bodies were shipped across the Lucky Country to Snapper Rocks, Callum Robson, head still attached to shoulders, poked the corpses with a stick at the first “Challenger Series” event. The bodies were then rolled down to Sydney for the second “Challenger Series” event though something strange is happening. Something eerily similar to the very scary Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
The headless are riding again.
During the nightmarish round of sixteen, melon-free Morgan Cibilic was bested by young Kade “Ichabod Crane” Matson but Ryan Callinan disposed of Alex Ribeiro, Deivid Silva ate Jordan Couzinet and Leonardo Fioravanti stabbed Ketut Agus between the eyes.
Each horseman feasting on the hopes and dreams of children (save Alex Ribeiro whose hopes and dreams are aged and gamey).
The waves at the event were said to be “two foot and bumpy” with Silva telling reporters, “I have won this event before (2018) and I feel I can win again. The ocean conditions are very hard but these waves are really similar to what I surf on my home beaches in Brazil so I know I can surf well here, my equipment is specialised for these waves so let’s go for these final days.”
With enough Challenger Series points, it is thought that the living cadavers may just return to the Championship Tour, itself, and frighten the likes of Connor O’Leary.