Chilling.
Kelly Slater. But also, do you have any further thoughts or feeling regarding the World Surf League’s much-derided (by the mainstream media) mid-season cut wherein any male championship tour surfer ranked 22 or lower, and any female championship tour surfer ranked 10 or lower, was told to pack their belongings and make their way into Margaret River’s picturesque vineyards where a surprise guillotine was waiting to lop off their heads?
Any last impressions?
Well, blood orgy over, the bodies were shipped across the Lucky Country to Snapper Rocks, Callum Robson, head still attached to shoulders, poked the corpses with a stick at the first “Challenger Series” event. The bodies were then rolled down to Sydney for the second “Challenger Series” event though something strange is happening. Something eerily similar to the very scary Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
The headless are riding again.
During the nightmarish round of sixteen, melon-free Morgan Cibilic was bested by young Kade “Ichabod Crane” Matson but Ryan Callinan disposed of Alex Ribeiro, Deivid Silva ate Jordan Couzinet and Leonardo Fioravanti stabbed Ketut Agus between the eyes.
Each horseman feasting on the hopes and dreams of children (save Alex Ribeiro whose hopes and dreams are aged and gamey).
The waves at the event were said to be “two foot and bumpy” with Silva telling reporters, “I have won this event before (2018) and I feel I can win again. The ocean conditions are very hard but these waves are really similar to what I surf on my home beaches in Brazil so I know I can surf well here, my equipment is specialised for these waves so let’s go for these final days.”
Unnerving.
With enough Challenger Series points, it is thought that the living cadavers may just return to the Championship Tour, itself, and frighten the likes of Connor O’Leary.
Chilling.
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Also strangely enough, I haven’t had head since I was about 27.
Are you California sober?
and the ever present “oh my gawd” …..
After seeing Devid Silva shitting himself at stormy 6 ft surf in WA I was wondering what he was doing on the tour at all? Winning this event along with the annual Manly dwarf throwing contest he might make some AU$
As much as I ironically love Deivid, hard agree.
This is strangely appropriate as I watched most of an episode of Midsomer Murders last night where a Headless Horseperson put in repeated appearances, followed by the suspicious death of the family member who witnessed it.
Fascinating, I’m sure.
I feel you are flogging a dead horse chas no one cares.
The urban dictionary is very handy when reading BG comments
COME ON! We know the WSL finals at Lowers will be epic 2-3ft waves in September and not unlike the Pipe!
Watching the procession of perennial QS/CS stragglers becoming decapitated by a blood hungry R-Cal in one foot trash at Manly as he finds his mid-season form, but knowing he should really be gearing up for G Land instead is a travesty wrapped in a scandal wrapped in a damn crying shame
Can we have a live feed comment section so we can mock them cruelly please?
It sucks to suck specially at sucky condition.
but if youre good at sucking the right people, you can get a miles ahead of the competition.
See what I did there?
Your comment sucks but I loved the feel of it in my mouth.
Hard to tell if the the next wave of cannon fodder is CT worthy when they suffer (surf?) the crap waves of Manly.
Don’t reckon O’Leary be too concerned about Silva at Gland ,in fact at 40/1 Conner is best value bet I’ve seen in a very long time.After rewatching Conners runner up finish to Wilco in pumping cloudbreak in 2017 I’m honestly of the belief he’s a legit shot at a maiden victory… might sound whack ,but I put a pineapple on him to win
C’mon now, where’s the rest of the alphabet??
I feel like we’re missing a gland joke with G land coming up. Anyone got anything?
Thyroid gland pro?
Dogs have glands around their arses, that need draining from time to time. You can tell when this is required as the dog drags it’s arse around on carpet, like it is wiping itself. Anyways the mid year cut off is like a vet draining the contents out of a dog’s arse gland. No G-land for them
not the joke I was looking for but super informative.
I’m gland you thought so
There must be a follow-on joke somewhere about gland-handing politicians…
Nothing like a good backhand pig dog gland drainer
I had a Border Collie cross that needed to have her anal glands drained regularly. So regularly in fact, that the vet suggest my girl at the time and I learn to do it ourselves. What a great time that was. I once performed the procedure, which basically involves getting one’s digit in there and massaging until the offending liquid squirts out, drunk, which was a traumatic experience for both the pup and I. Something about being pissed made it quite disturbing for us. I’ll never forget the look she gave me. Chilling.
Reminds me of my first boyfriend!
Reminds me of last Saturday night at my place after me and the fun stopper came home blind from the Boozer
WHOA, can I call my wife the fun stopper without my throat being slit in the middle of the night?
Fun stopper, the hand brake, satan they’re all the usual round our house
I’m guessing you weren’t drunk with that boyfriend otherwise the experience would have been much better than Pauly’s cross dawg
What about this. My brother in law grew up pretty rough out west. Tells the story of his dad drinking at the local and this big noter would not shut up about his blue heeler being the best dog in the world, so loyal to him that it would follow his every command, never leave his side etc.
so his dad goes outside to where the dog is tied up and proceeds to give it a red rocket wristy. of course he then has the dog come back in, sit by his side, follow his every command etc.
And says to the guy, now cunt will you please shut up
I commend his dedication to proving a point.
what about it?
and then she never left your side again?
Hey wait, you copied this from… oh no wait, it’s you.
They don’t deserve Gland, Losers can’t go left!
Can’t Wait for G Land, more importantly Tarty and Joanne’s bottom, um turns,
Let’s just say there’s going to be some special Andy time, gland to gland combat really
What is the Challenger Series?
Its the new QS which was the old CT which was the old ASP which was the new Dream tour. happy to clear this up for you
Pretty sure Chas covered this yesterday. Something about milking babies?
“This emergency executive order will help us to crack down on any retailer looking to capitalize on this crisis by jacking up prices on this essential good. Our message to struggling mothers and families is simple: Our city will do everything in its power to assist you during this challenging period.”
I was watching and enjoying “Inventing Anna” and noticed she used an app on her phone to sound like a Old German Man. Do you think such technology actually exists and if so can we crowdfund this for Shannon? DLS is also becoming more annoying in his inflection over the years. Is it a Californian thing. It’s fucking abhorrent!
I went out with a Southern Cali ‘Valley Girl” for a couple of years when I was in the USA, that accent can actually even sound worse (if you can believe that) , already whiney and patronising imagine how it sounds when it is whining and complaining about something (something VG,s are very good at)… I knew all along I could never bring her home to WA , everyone would have hated her , poor thing , bullet dodged in retrospect
No. It’s a non-native irritant. Like most things “Californian.” Signed, a “Californian.” My parents were born here but there’s were from Ireland. The worst part about being a native 41 year-old Californian deploring the new way of speaking is feeling how the real native Californians must feel. They see a white dude shoot up an all-black supermarket in New York state, stating how he despises the idea of replacement of white people amongst the population and electorate, and they must solemnly shake their heads.