Slater (pictured) holding bottle of inexpensive champagne which he should be very careful about drinking away from his house as cheap champagne is a known diuretic.
Slater (pictured) holding bottle of inexpensive champagne which he should be very careful about drinking away from his house as cheap champagne is a known diuretic.

World’s most recognized surfer Kelly Slater admits to suffering from debilitating syndrome: “The condition is also known as ‘avoidant paruresis’, ‘psychogenic urinary retention’ and ‘pee-phobia!'”

Inspirational.

In these slower surf news days, I find myself drawn like a moth to Kelly Slater’s instagram profile. The world’s most recognized surfer has won 11 titles, starred in movies, presented awards at the Oscars and eviscerated the globe’s richest man Elon Musk. He is also a social media master, never afraid to share opinion or spar with others.

Now, of course I am blocked from his instagram profile, like many others, but when there’s a will there’s a way and my will to observe Kelly Slater in the wild is great.

Thus, today, I clicked over and while there were no new postings or stories, his biography had changed, merely reading “Paruresisist.”

“Paruresisist?” I wondered, having never encountered the word before, and quickly searched it up.

Paruresis, as it turns out, is a social phobia that involves a discomfort, or inability, to urinate in front of, or near, others.

Per Australia’s Better Health resource:

A person with paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) finds it difficult or impossible to urinate (pee) when other people are around. Paruresis is believed to be a common type of social phobia, ranking second only to the fear of public speaking. Paruresis is often first experienced at school. The condition affects men and women of all races. In mild cases, paruresis is an occasional event, like a form of performance anxiety. For example, a man at a public urinal may find that he is unable to urinate when flanked by other men. In severe cases, a person with paruresis can only urinate when alone at home. The condition is also known as ‘avoidant paruresis’, ‘psychogenic urinary retention’ and ‘pee-phobia’.

Wow.

The fact that such an accomplished professional surfer is so open about what may be considered embarrassing is wonderful, no? But do you suffer “pee-phobia” as well? Will Slater’s bold declaration free you to admit that it’s ok? That you are not only among others but great others? Or do you toil under the invisible yoke of some other syndrome like nomophobia or plutophobia that you will now be willing to publicly embrace?

Inspirational, in any case. Inspirational and uplifting. Kelly Slater the Cesar Chavez of paruresisists.

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Rescuers work to free buried teenager on Jersey Shore.
Rescuers work to free buried teenager on Jersey Shore.

Officials warn bored surfers, beachgoers about dangers of digging giant sand holes as tragic collapse on Jersey shore claims life of young man.

A new menace.

Tragedy struck Toms River, there on the Jersey Shore, days ago, when two teenager siblings on vacation with their parents became trapped in a giant hole they were digging in the sand using frisbees. The sister, seventeen, was quickly rescued while the brother, eighteen, was not and was pronounced dead at the scene.

It took rescue crews over three hours, using heavy machinery, to recover his body.

Toms River’s mayor wrote in a statement, “The Jersey Shore is a place where families come to make memories, bond and enjoy all that the beach has to offer. This tragedy is a reminder to us all to be vigilant for our loved ones safety. Let me remind all of our beach goers, visitors and locals, to never dig more than knee deep in the sand. Doing so puts yourself and others at risk.”

The unimaginable nightmare has highlighted a recent spate of New Jersey sand hole collapses with multiple trapping young children up and down the coastline during the past few years. Officials are warning of similar deep holes being dug by bored surfers on North Carolina’s Outer Banks whilst taking breaks from the waves.

These holes remain gaping after the surfers back up and head home, becoming potential menaces to children or emergency vehicles.

Ocean rescue supervisor for Kill Devil Hills, David Elder, told NPR news that the they’ve had people break limbs by falling into pits and even dying. “Sadly, this is the way that people choose to spend their time,” he bemoaned.

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You want a pool, kid? Go to Typhoon Lagoon.

American Wave Machines sues WSL-owned Surf Ranch Florida and others over abandoned Palm Beach, Florida, wavepool project!

Confused? Like, wasn't Palm Beach supposed to become only the second Surf Ranch built? Click and get lost in the Byzantine world of biggish finance!

American Wave Machines has sued Surf Ranch Florida, LLC, owned by Dirk Ziff and of Kelly Slater Wave Company fame, in Florida state court.

Other named defendants include 80 Acres Surf, AW Property Operations (AWPO), and AW Asset management.

American Wave Machines is one of the earliest surf pool technology companies. Its technology is ubiquitous, with projects including Waco Surf (formally known as BSR Surf Resort) and PerfectSwell® Shizunami, where the US surf team trained in anticipation of the Olympics.

The suit concerns a failed surf pool project in Palm Beach, Florida.

According to the complaint, one year after the World Surf League acquired Kelly Slater Wave Company in 2016, the WSL announced it would be developing a second pool using KSWC’s technology in Palm Beach.

The project promised “substantial” capital investment, 322 jobs, a $33 mill annual economic impact and year-round tourism.

The WSL bought the site for $6.5 million.

Brian Waxman, President of AW Property Operations and AW Asset management, was self-described as the project lead for the Florida project.

In 2019, the WSL announced the cancellation of the project citing an “extremely high water table [that] exposed unforeseen challenges that made the decision around this unique project clear.”

Then, in 2020, according to the complaint, Brian Waxman approached American Wave Machines “to revive the former project as PerfectSwell® Palm Beach.”

Waxman allegedly “made repeated statements that [the] WSL would not be involved [in] the Project.”

Further, “Waxman insisted that PerfectSwell® Palm Beach not be announced publicly.”

According to the complaint, in January 2020, the parties signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement that limited parties from sharing any confidential information unless approved in writing by AWM.

In June 2020, the parties signed an agreement for the construction and installation of AWM’s PerfectSwell® technology for $7.64 million.

The agreement included a payment schedule.

At the behest of Waxman, the first payment was only $250,000, less than 4% of the purchase price.

The second payment, a much larger sum, was slated for 120 days after the initial payment. AWPO was also was permitted to terminate the agreement before making the subsequent payment.

According to Waxman, the purpose of the cancellation plan was designed to “allow [AWPO] to commit to [AWM] in a somewhat significant manner while we spend the next 60 days working with you, learning and getting better organized on this new concept without putting too much at risk.”

During the negotiations, the AWPO allegedly retained Blake Hess, General Manager at the WSL’s Surf Ranch, as a consultant. AWM was apprehensive about Hess’s role, likely due to Hess’s affiliation with a rival pool technology company.

In an email, AWM requested that “communications in the coming months be limited to direct partners, stakeholders, and accredited professionals.”

According to the complaint, the following year, Hess left the WSL to join Beach Street Development, a real estate development company, as its Chief Operating Officer. The following month, AWPO “formally retained Beach Street” for the project.

AWM immediately made its concerns with working with Beach Street known.

In an email, Bruce McFarland, founder and president of AWM, “expressed AWM’s unwillingness to work with a company [Beach Street] that actively tried to undermine us [AWM], are attempting to falsely equate PerfectSwell® in the marketplace, and is licensed to exclusively sell another wave generating system.”

It is unclear what technology Beach Street is licensed to sell, but on its website, it says “Beach Street is pioneering a new segment – barefoot lifestyle destinations and resorts anchored by man-made surfing lagoons.”

The site also lists several pool projects throughout the U.S.

After making the first payment, the AWPO allegedly continued to delay any additional payments, even as they “continued to request, and AWM continued to provide, confidential and proprietary information.”

The second payment was originally scheduled for September 2020; on May 31, 2021, AWPO requested an additional extension.

Then, on July 15, 2021, Waxman and AWPO informed AWM that they would be no longer moving forward with AWM’s technology, alleging that investors “had lost confidence in AWM based on certain representations made during various discussions with unauthorized third parties, including Blake Hess.”

Among the issues cited was the wrongful death suit and subsequent settlement at BSR in Waco, Texas and apparent dissatisfaction with the Japan project.

Following the dismissal of AWM, the Florida project allegedly employed WhiteWater, a company with technology created by an ex-AWM employee.

According to AWM, WhiteWater employs technology that infringers on AWM’s intellectual property.

The complaint alleges that AWPO shared AWM’s “confidential and proprietary information with unauthorized third parties.”

AWM alleges breach of contract, both with respect to the original purchase agreements and the NDA.

They further seek injunctive relief to enjoin defendants from further disclosing AWM confidential or proprietary information.

Under Florida state rules, defendants have until May 25 to file their answer

More as the story develops.

Wanna read the whole 89 pages of the complaint? Click here!

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The results of study will shock!

In sensational peer-reviewed study, Californian professors reveal surf co’s are building wetsuits wrong, ignoring “compelling research” and claim the most efficient wetsuit in the world was made by Florence Marine X!

But sold out! Can't buy!

Here’s a wild little study that has flown under the radar. 

Two professors from the California State University in San Marcos, a dozen miles east of Encinitas, say they’ve conducted exhaustive research on wetsuits and the results ain’t pretty. 

“What the surf industry is marketing is not driven by science,” says Sean Newcomer, one half of the university’s Surf Research Laboratory, the other is Jeff Nessler, in a piece on Outsideonline.

The pair are helped by 40 undergrads, and the indoor “surf laboratories” feature motion cameras, a swim bench ergometer, a treadmill on hydraulics, even a surfboard simulator mounted on pistons. 

And, what Nessler and Newcomer discovered is that wetsuits are being made with the distribution of rubber thickness all wrong, ass backwards y’might say. 

Using thermal sensors to collect data on skin temps, “the data showed that the average surfer didn’t need the extra millimeters around their core (unless perhaps they were riding waves near the Arctic Circle). Instead, they needed the thickest neoprene over the lower half of their body—the calves, thighs, stomach, and lower back. Those were the regions submerged in water for the most amount of time and consequently the areas that lost the most heat. Those regions also received the least exposure to the sun and weren’t utilized as much as the upper body’s paddling muscles.” 

Interestingly, “When researchers have tracked surfers’ activity, they’ve found that surfers spend the majority of time paddling during a session, followed by sitting idle. They only actually surf between 2 percent and 5 percent of the time.” 

Anyway, Hurley, back before Nike sold it and it became a beard oil, electric bike and inflatable jetski outlet, built a suit based on the principles of thick in the leg, lighter rubber on the guts – 4mm legs, 3mm lower guts and back, 2mm in the chest, upper back and arms. 

A miracle, yes? 

Nope. Marketing couldn’t work out how to sell ‘em. 

Traditionally, wetsuits are named by their thickness. A 4/3-millimeter suit, for instance, is understood to mean that the thickest neoprene (4 millimeters) is wrapped around the core, while the thinnest neoprene (3 millimeters) covers the extremities. Since the new Hurley suit had the thickest neoprene in the legs, thinned as it reached the torso, then thinned some more in the chest and arms, it was confusing to use those traditional measurements. They ended up calling it the Advantage Max 3/2 Plus. 

And, then, Hurley went beard oil, and John John fled to start his own brand along with Bob Hurley and former Hurley VP Bruce Moore. 

Moore hadn’t forgotten about Nessler and Newcomer’s research, and Florence Marine X applied the professors’ findings when designing the first Florence Marine X wetsuit, which went on sale last year. The first batch quickly sold out despite its $750 price tag. It’s the first suit to incorporate Nessler and Newcomer’s research on regional temperatures in the body since the Hurley Advantage Max 3/2 Plus, using 3 millimeters of neoprene on the legs and lower torso, while covering the arms, upper chest, and upper back with 2 millimeters of rubber.

But sold out! 

And the Advantage max 3/2 Plus for Hurley, which is still out there, ain’t made by the same high-end co’s as it was when Nike so maybe prudent to avoid.

Can’t win for losing etc. 

Read whole thing here. 

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“Face of Gucci” Leonardo Fioravanti comes out heavy against World Surf League’s mid-season cut, shares why fashion is superior to water play in revealing new interview!

"Everyone looks good in black and no one’s going to judge you in black."

The Italian surfer Leonardo Fioravanti was one of the many professional surfers to become decapitated by the World Surf League’s extremely controversial mid-year cut and, therefore, he is now at Manly, in Australia, watching longboarders ply their trade while waiting to ply his own in an attempt to claw back onto the championship tour.

A great indignity, one that Fioravanti made no bones about from the aforementioned Manly in a revealing new interview with The Sydney Morning Herald.

He told the journalist that he “surfed angry” at Snapper, the first event after the cut and “I don’t agree with (it) but that’s what the WSL want to do, and at the end of it all, I wasn’t consistent enough to stay in it, and that’s on me, and nobody else.”

I, for one, will miss him as I think the Quiksilver sponsored surfer and “face of Gucci” brings something different to the dance.

Style, for one, plus fashion and the young Italian speaks openly about the glorious land of glamor and gorgeousness.

“It’s a different world, I love it. In our world you get judged a lot for your surfing style, who you sponsor with or whatever and that’s how it goes. But in fashion, you can be whatever the f–k you want to be. You can dress however you want, nobody’s going to judge you for it, they’re going to respect you for it. That’s so cool for me. The first fashion show I went to, I was only dressing in black. Everyone looks good in black and no one’s going to judge you in black. Now if I’m going to a Gucci show, give me the craziest shit you’ve got. It’s so cool, and I know they’ll never judge you for it. Give me different every time.”

Yes, I will miss Fioravanti and I truly hope that his being fed to the Great Wall Motors will not taint his brand.

World Suffering League.

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