And gets being humiliated by VAL at Desert Point!
There was little surprise when Kelly Slater pulled out of contests in El Salvador and Brazil, events of little value to a man whose residual skill shines in epic reef barrels, Pipe, Teahupoo.
Slater, who turns fifty-one in February, has made an art of avoiding the Brazil leg of the tour, citing back pain, foot pain, personal reasons, whatever it takes to avoid the long flight, the “passionate” fans and waves that rarely thrill, usually in collusion with the WSL.
As Chas Smith wrote a few days back,
Therefore, instead of Central and South America, the eleven-time champ detoured to Bali for fitness training and sessions at Uluwatu and even a side trip to Desert Point on Lombok for the pleasure of being humiliated by a VAL, eating the learner’s foamy wash as the villain rode to glory.
Obviously, fans fear further injury to brittle bones etc.
And Ulus!
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Shitty article and writer Derelick my Balls can suck it.
how good was Krui and Nias – should be full blown tour events heard today may be challenger at least next year
Yes I agree.
Untouchables shit me!
Certainly can’t blame him for staying in Indo skipping those comps, but why the need to lie about injuries or stretch the truth or whatever to do it?
He’s the Goat, he doesn’t owe anyone anything. Sometimes a little white lie is just easier on the constitution.
Have you seen Instagram ?
Every eliminated surfer has the WSL approved “eliminated early but so sad to leave the people of brazil.”
>Insert picture of some Brazilian family
Pro Surfers workin for da man!
Cheers, Kell !
WSL is a marketing platform. It’s not a competitive sports league. The surfers know this but, they’ll play along because it’s lucrative enough to keep them from having to make a living like a regular person. Kudos to them!!
Ripping at Deserts, Ulu not so much
The complaint seems to be that Kelly (and others) ain’t doing ‘the full tour’ therefore naughty.
Should the rule not be: most points = Champignon Du Monde no matter how they get them? Maybe they do lots more “lesser” comps. Maybe they hack the computer. Maybe they give sexual favours to the Komissionar…?
All sounds like good surfing wild times and hijinks to me. Let’em have it.
What if there was a choice of routes round the world. Two competing ‘tours’ under the same CT umbrella. You could pick and choose where you wanted to go and jump around from venue route 1 to venue 2 but only do X many stops by the time the final venue (Pipe) rolled around. Points are points so a winner may already have been decided.
Fact is…
This egghead shit it’s irrelevant to professional surf today.
It’s past. It’s over.
He’s totally about competitive surf, and he’s done now.
Outdated, outclassed, boring to watch and hear.
Curren with an Free Scrubber’s movie it’s more relevant today to surf in general than this crooked turtle.
He, now, lives and serves to surf in one thing only: gossips.
Did you not watch Pipe this year?
Are u Blind?
Sure, only a threat at the best and heaviest waves.
Fact is, he is still pretty much the most relevant person in surfing today, yesterday and two decades ago. Performance, influence, results, however you see it.
Whether you or me dislike him is besides the point. Whether he talks bullshit or not is besides the point.
Basically his all the WSL got and he can do whatever he wants ?
It should be in the rule book, their contract or somewhere else some legal framework to penalize no-shows or phoney doctors notes. Can’t be fucked to look it up. But if there haven’t been any penalties so far, guess no-one is that concerned about it.
Hurt your balls reading this no?…
I’m no epidemiologist but my scrotum is doing just fine thanks for the concern!
I dislike the persona but appreciate the wave riding and find it superior to everyone else’s, even nowadays. And it’s mind bending how long he’s been at it.
Apart from that yeah, I dislike him. EZ
How you dare!!
Says you. But he mixes relevance with panache when he does shit like this, and then watch him win a couple of more stops on the tour this year. BTW, why such a hater?
I’m sure that Mr Ziff and the rest of the leading hierarchy at WSL decided that exposing the future El Presidente of the company Slater to the gun toting nutters in the El Salvadorian army guiding their prized athlete to the dire brown surf was a risk not worth taking.
After his experience at the hopeless lay day fest at G Land I’m sure Kel was more than happy to dip out of another bungle in the jungle.
As for Brazil maybe death threats to American surfers after their boy Tiddly Toledo was dicked in the El Salvador final was slightly off-putting to invested parties too. Plus the fact the surf overall there is rubbish.
See… Kelly can have his Des(s)ert and eat it too!
The “‘CT” surfers are dreaming of the “‘QS”!
Wish I was injured and stuck in indo not by choice and not able to show up to work tomorrow
As long as I ain’t stuck in Jakarta I fully support this.
Agree, coffee at Medan Airport will do me just fine
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K-Hole who ?
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1 Milllliion Titles!
For a second I read that as “titties” and immediately Google’d “how to upvote 100 times.”
Hints of one Peter Garrett…
Mental health is an injury these days so if his mental health is fragile and some indo tubes will fix it then that is good medicine
What Slater has taught todays surfers is that you can do whatever you want for whatever reason and woozl won’t do a fucken thing. He’s a selfish cunt, only thinks about himself and they’re idiots for letting him get away with it.
Well he is an individual that is allowed to do what he chooses. He may get fined but I doubt we will be told.
As long as Slayer never speaks against the WSL, they will let him do whatever the he fuck he wants. The legend’s status grows and only helps them.
Technically you’re correct and he should be disciplined by the Leagues Governing Body… but he won’t. He’s like that one guy…
And I’m entirely fine with that approach.
And taught us quads can go unreal!
That same thesis could be applied to Gabriel Medina also.
Such harsh words,did you cry after you wrote that.
How good has Nias been compared to the shitheaps they’ve been surfing on the CT?
How does a lowly QS 5000 get such a quality location while the elite are forced to surf d-grade points and junky beachies?
Can’t knock Slater or any of the others for not bothering with it.
You know how
Too right, Nias comp was awesome. Don’t think Slater gives a fuck, and why should he?
Agree strongly. Back when he hurt his foot and then got a bit better, then skipped a few sub-par events & went and surfed massive cloudbreak instead, people hassled him saying stuff like; ‘other surfers are desperate to get on tour and you’re just skipping events when you’re not injured’ – or something along those lines – but as Slater himself has also alluded to a few years back – it’s up to him if he skips an event and if other people want his spot then they can fukn knock him off the tour… but as long as the GOAT is qualifying then who gives a fuck, it’s his business and if an 11x world champ can’t have some leeway and skip a few events then nobody can. Let him do it his way, he has given plenty to this sport and continues to attract more people than any other surfer, even non-surfers love Kelly.. Nobody else on tour really breaks that barrier, and is adored by people that don’t even surf. I think good on him, to be 50, and to be so good as to be able to skip events and still qualify easily, and still win events, that’s fukn amazing. The 20 yr olds should be amped to try knock him off, but I doubt they’ll be able too. I just want him to get #12, change the final 5 to cloudbreak then you’ll get the kings attention and he will be in Brasil and motivated to get to that finals day.
I sent him some stickers. I’m sure he’ll be rocking his new Hurluley sponsorship with pride soon.
Full sponno or just fin cozie deal? HurluleyXendorfin colab would be hot
Full pack of stickers. Dunno how he’ll take the Andy Irons one.