"The figure of Jack Robinson, surfing and claiming faster and harder, seemed to grow in stature behind, like a shadow of inevitability looming over the older man."
Could we ask for more in terms of wave quality or consistency?
Not really.
Was it the greatest day in pro surfing history?
Not nearly.
I contend that “perfection” is something best held at arm’s length. It’s a concept that can and should only exist in abstraction, for as soon as we try to claim it, we realise it’s not all we hoped for.
Once you’ve reached it, what then?
The WSL broadcast team are at their worst when the waves are good. All we get is endless repetition telling us so. Everyone becomes Strider.
The problem with superlatives is they run out pretty quickly.
Unbelievable. Incredible. Pumping. As good as it gets. Amazing.
Layers and layers of superfluous superlatives.
Yes, the waves looked great today, and yes, there was no shortage of them. Nor was there a shortage of quality surfing.
So why, then, did it occasionally feel a little flat? Like the 48 minute heats were just a bit too long. Like everything was a bit…slow.
Or like we were just waiting for it to start.
Ask yourself what’s changed after today? What world title scenarios or wrinkles have been introduced after a marathon day of professional surfing, in waves as good as we could ask for, at the business end of the season?
Precisely none.
To emphasise the point, world number one Filipe Toledo went out, losing to the superb Yago Dora in the round of 16.
But who really cares?
He’s already confirmed as being in the Top 5. And since it’s not actually a world title battle, none of the men remaining in the draw within striking distance can actually damage his chances.
There was talk of a potential shoulder injury sustained in his early heat today, but again, does it matter?
Toledo can sit out the rest of this event, and the next at Teahupo’o, and he’ll still be there on Finals Day at Trestles. To be number one is the mildest of advantages, especially for Filipe. Can you honestly say it matters much where he ends up in positions one through five?
And if, according to YouTube, there are only 20k fans watching (give or take a couple of thousand more on the WSL app) at this stage of the season, when Erik Logan prophesied it would be the greatest surfing competition of all time, then what does that say about the future?
But let’s concentrate on the present for a moment.
And just by the way, “staying in the moment” is the most zeitgeisty and overrated move in pro surfing in 2022.
Even Jordy’s at it now, according to his post heat pressers, and he’s about the least zen guy in any room.
At least he reclaimed some of his dignity today. Victory over Andino in the elimination round is nothing to shout about, but he was deliberate and precise in his surfing and wave selection, taking off on just three waves to Kolohe’s ten.
A heat total in the excellent range was repeated against stiffer opposition in Griffin Colapinto in the round of 16. I missed what happened with Griffin’s interference, but the surfing I saw leading up to that would suggest it hardly mattered. After being slightly undercooked throughout the event, Colapinto was knocked off rhythm just as Smith was finding his. His quarter final berth is deserved and a match-up against Ethan Ewing is one to look forward to.
Kelly Slater found a little more old man flow today, aided by very different and clearly better equipment choice than yesterday.
His match-up against Barron Mamiya in the elimination round seemed impassable, especially given it was morning heat and we know he’s a creature who likes to warm up throughout the day.
The point was cloaked in mist as Slater appeared spookily on the stones, like he had brought the fog with him.
His performance was better than yesterday, but advancing past Mamiya with a heat total of just 12.26 says more about the latter being a little off than Slater snatching back any of his youth.
The commentators, as usual, were not to be deterred.
“Classic Kelly, classic J-Bay,” they kept saying. At least one of those things had very loose relevance to objective truth.
Slater was “riding on top of the water beautifully on this board,”said Ronnie, stretching for compliments.
The juxtaposition of the ad breaks was appropriately symbolic. On one hand, there he was, live, in black and white, stumbling through a heat; and on the other we saw glossy, colourful ads for his “Lost Tapes” web series, with its jazzy tune and talk of dreams and movies.
He looked better again in his round of 16 heat against Jack Robinson, the latter looking more Terminator-like by the day.
Slater needed a mid-six as the heat was winding down. A wave came. He rode it admirably, verging on dynamically. It seemed enough, but Robinson had taken off on the wave behind.
Watching the two ride their waves simultaneously, it was clear they were operating on different planes. The figure of Robinson, surfing and claiming faster and harder, seemed to grow in stature behind, like a shadow of inevitability looming over the older man.
This is how it ends, isn’t it? The old man in the club with the glowsticks who just can’t stop dancing whilst everyone moves around him, respectful, yet also a little sad.
Intentional or not, Robinson made a comment about Slater in his post-heat interview that seemed a little like a sly knife to the old man’s gut. The victory was all the sweeter because he’d seen Kelly getting barrelled in Indo recently.
The rest of the Tour professionals had been slogging it out in Brazil at this time, of course.
At least Kelly’s sensibilities prevent the sort of egregious claiming that seems de-rigueur right now.
It’s no longer poor etiquette, apparently. Even mid-ride claims are acceptable. Jack and Italo are voracious.
The claim is now part of a scoring repertoire. But actually, it might be losing impact.
Look to Italo’s opening wave against Nat Young in the round of 16. It’s without question the hardest 3.83 claim you’ll ever see. Inherent distrust of the officiating suggests a point or two was deducted for the ferocity, but the balance was corrected in the latter part of the heat. The 9.17 Italo got seemed high in the context of some of the other backhand surfing we saw today.
No-one, backhand or fore, has impressed more than Yago Dora. There’s a spark in his surfing that reminds me of peak Italo, before the jewels and the attitude. To my eyes it doesn’t look possible to turn in a more critical part of the wave than he does. He never looks like falling, and he flows from one move to another with a style that’s not second best to Ethan Ewing, but just a little different.
If you’re partial to a little flow, as I am, Ewing and Dora are the best two surfers at J-Bay this year.
Few days in competitive surfing history will have been as consistent as today, but for me it wasn’t perfect.
There’s a line of thought that says all we need at any given event is for the waves to turn on. I’m not sure that’s true. If nothing else, Kelly’s pool taught us that perfect waves weren’t really what we were looking for.
What we do need are stakes, rivalries and consequences. Today held little, if any, of these elements.
There was lots of talk of flawlessness and perfection, but where was the drama? We can watch perfect waves any time we like. If we’re going to tune into nine hours straight of live sport I think we need something more.
Perhaps you disagree.
Did today make all your pro surf dreams come true?
What have you tasted of perfection? Can it really exist, or is the concept paradoxical?
If realised, then where do we go? What’s left to pursue?
Life, and surfing, is about striving. That’s what keeps us going. The promise, not the reality.
Today I watched hours of professional surfing in what many people – not least the WSL production team – would have you believe was perfect conditions.
Was I rapt and satiated?
Not quite yet.
Corona Open J-Bay Men’s Elimination Round 2 Results:
HEAT 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.33 DEF. Joshe Faulkner (ZAF) 6.76
HEAT 2: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 12.30 DEF. Seth Moniz (HAW) 11.66
HEAT 3: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 13.34 DEF. Luke Thompson (ZAF) 11.84
HEAT 4: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 14.07 DEF. Jake Marshall (USA) 11.83
HEAT 5: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 15.00 DEF. Jadson Andre (BRA) 11.03
HEAT 6: Kelly Slater (USA) 12.26 DEF. Barron Mamiya (HAW) 9.23
HEAT 7: Callum Robson (AUS) 12.93 DEF. Jackson Baker (AUS) 10.40
HEAT 8: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.93 DEF. Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.80
Corona Open J-Bay Men’s Round of 16 Results:
HEAT 1: Yago Dora (BRA) 15.17 DEF. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 12.83
HEAT 2: Jack Robinson (AUS) 15.77 DEF. Kelly Slater (USA) 12.87
HEAT 3: Samuel Pupo (BRA) 16.94 DEF. Callum Robson (AUS) 11.00
HEAT 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 17.64 DEF. Nat Young (USA) 14.74
HEAT 5: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 16.26 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA) 11.77
HEAT 6: Connor O’Leary (AUS) 12.77 DEF. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 11.97
HEAT 7: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.77 DEF. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 7.27
HEAT 8: Ethan Ewing (AUS) 15.76 DEF. Matthew McGillivray (ZAF) 14.00
Corona Open J-Bay Men’s Quarterfinal Matchups:
HEAT 1: Jack Robinson (AUS) vs. Samuel Pupo (BRA)
HEAT 2: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
HEAT 3: Yago Dora (BRA) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
HEAT 4: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Ethan Ewing (AUS)
Surfing wants to be free, but in the mean time, WSL saving us from sliding into Netflix coma 🍭 and Stab Cinema continues to drop the reels 🥊 grow a pair already 🖤
Like the WSL’s rigged judging, they setup this years Kelly Farewell Tour, to favor his “old man” style of surfing he’s still good at which is barrelling waves. It worked at Pipe but failed everywhere else like JBay, NIAS, Chopes etc.. At age 50, you’re just too stiff and too slow to compete with these young lads on anything outside of the barrell. IMO Kelly has sort of sold out over time. Could care less how he finishes. And I stopped watching the WSL when they rigged 2 titles for Mick Fanning. 20K viwers? That’s all WSL gets nowadays. Can’t survive as a business off that. And I bet most of the 20K are watching fr Brazil.
lacked some oops…
Will the WSL call today off to finish on the weekend?
Betting odds? It’s never about surfing.
Aww I hope not, keen for Friday night finals.
Well hang in there SS , perhaps today’s action with a bit of devil wind thrown in the mix will toot your flute,…..I like Dora very much ,love his tempo love his execution .But ,for moi Ewings turns are simply that Maxed out .No one ,not even Pip can reach his f1 g force surfing .
“Robinson made a comment about Slater in his post-heat interview that seemed a little like a sly knife to the old man’s gut. “
What was the comment?
Called him Uncle Kelly and said he was jealous of him getting barreled in Indo. Not much of a knifing.
In Italo’s defence, he was heavy claiming the 8.17. The 3.83 was a wave lost to the Slater / Robinson conclusion and/or ad break. Only God knows if he claimed the 3.83.
Are you sure? If so that makes a lot more sense! Broadcast missed a lot of waves yesterday. It was a bit confusing for scores at times.
Yeah, pretty certain. I reacted in disgust at the time, but then saw the 8.17 logged soon after.
While you’re down here, any clue regarding the Colapinto interference? He was in the priority heat. Is this some new Medina inspired anti-blocking rule?
I need to see it. He blocked Ethan, yeah? There’s some conjecture about the positions of each in the overall ratings, but it’s more likely just an accidental fuck up.
Yeah, looks like they decided it was ‘unsportsmanlike.’
yeah I went to town on those insights. Early on they both agree that catching the best wave in a heat is the most important thing. I went to town coz wave quality isn’t even in the judges’ own WSL criteria. Nary a mention anywhere.
I wrote way back in Jan/Feb that the judging would be shit this year, next year, and every other fucking year forevermore until they fix their horribly broken system. Waddya know, every contest almost has been marred by shit judging.
Meh, whatever. Just make the cunts catch more waves. Mandate it. As much as I love Ewing, watching the little fucker bob about in the ocean for 30 minutes a heat is not fucking entertaining. For anyone.
Kelly needs about 20cm (8 inches) more of rail for his turns – no projection, no drive.
That little skateboard thing he was riding was ridiculous.
2nd dat!
glow sticks…
That was a good paragraph.
help! “I’m either in the monkey’s den or the lion’s cage, Dad”
My sport-watching non-surfer brother that I viewed some of it with liked the commentary from Pete Mel (for his apparent knowledge) and the English guy (for his audience engagement).
Though he was hugely perplexed by the non-stop repeated self-promotional ‘ads’, and dreary interviews with Shaun Thompson etc, that continue to take precedence over live action, and found the way that most commentators talk about anything but what is on the screen to be very frustrating.
This is coming from a general sports fan that the WSL has claimed they’re trying to attract…
“need drone for landline measurements…take-off zone to pick-up zone to splash pool to security to judge’s stand…
need a red bikini? sized 36 X 28 X 32…
call Tommy and/or Kelly“
luv Pam
Shaun’s only bearable when he’s pissed!
Surf was too big, move comp back tor Rio
The yellow hair the claims the body language the posse JR letting loose the inner self that had many cringe at when he was a kid , standby to behold the beast that used to bite other kids that caught waves in front of him.
Toledo will want to be number 1 at Trestles.
Every place below that surfs an extra heat,1 lower place 1 extra heat.
And they’re elimination heats.
5th place surfs an extra 3 heats than 1st place.
So it is very relevant what place they finish,unless they love the stress of more sudden death heats.
And Slater being shown up by his competitors is nothing new,it’s been happening for years now except at Pipe.
Watching him surf jBay this event made me ask why Mick and Parko aren’t in the event too.
They’d most likely be more competitive out there than Slater was.
Yeah, I get how it works. But do you think it really matters to Filipe if he needs to surf a couple of extra heats? He’s a pro athlete being asked to surf for 30-40 mins.
Well it will if he loses any of them before where he would’ve been if higher placed in the 5.
JP I think you missed a very important plot on the Colapinto interference. He interfered on a heat which would ultimately impact his rankings. Ewing is just untouchable so it didn’t change the outcome but nonetheless it should be worth a review of the rules whenever we have overlapping heats. This is up there with the Medina interference.
Great review, and you’re spot on about the drama and stakes.
Italo has become really creepy in his interviews. Drugs?
He was exposed in Brazil. He can’t do a proper frontside turn. Spins like a methed out ballerina though.
Today, for the first time, I said to myself: “Kelly, it’s time to pack it in.” Yes, it’s time.
I’d like to see him ride a good board for the first time in 5 years.
He’s not good enough to handicap himself anymore.
As an older guy I appreciate that he surfs the wave (roundhouse cutbacks and stuff) and isn’t just skating around looking for a place to jam a turn off the fins. Ewing had a nice carve or two. Most of these kids are surfing off their fins like tap dancers.
I will admit this to you guys…. in confidence.
I have never supported Italo until this quarterfinals. He must win. Imperative. Crush. Dominate. Remove the clowns soul if you have to.
Other than that, I don’t care.
But I’m in. I’ve surfed enough left closeouts in two days to be diagnosed certifiable mental illness.
had this thing popped off my arm yesterday by a dermo/
“why did ya wait soo long?”
surfer: “I’m mental.”l
Right on JP