Children left sweating and crying all dry and hot.
It is currently hot and humid in New York, typical for this time of year, with the only respite coming from buckets of ice placed in front of vans, fire hydrants being opened or day trips to the beach. Unfortunately the latter is no longer a possibility for many as a standup paddleboarder wrecked it by getting attacked by a normally docile sand tiger shark thereby forcing authorities to shutter the water while they looked for signs of the menace.
Children left sweating and crying all dry and hot.
The incident took place around 7:30 in the morning, according to Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone. The victim was a 41-year-old SUPer and received a four-inch gash on his leg. The sand tiger shark was identified by the man.
Though the injury was not life threatening, the beach was closed with the county releasing the statement, “Swimming has been suspended at this time due to dangerous marine life activity on Wednesday, July 13, 2022.”
Children left mopping their brows with hankies and staring mournfully out to sea.
It was the second shark attack in the area this summer. The first, you recall, when a lifeguard was bit during a training exercise thus providing cinematic realism.
Children left fanning themselves with pages torn from The Farmers’ Almanac and feeling faint.
Thanks a lot, 41-year old SUP man. You guys, literally, wreck everything.
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grew up with ‘Clutch Cargo’…the writers must have been on the shrooms too!
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Hahahaha!
No one should be surfing or SUPing around there anyway.
If God had wanted people in NY to do that stuff then he wouldn’t have had the Hawaiians invent it.
Besides, it’s not in the Constitution.
Gristle took Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music and made it into a religion.
Y’all wanted clean oceans so you were literally asking for it!!!
Probably one of those SUPers who surfs it on his belly. The equivalent of a man peeing while sitting down. How else would he get a gash on his leg?
He sat down to pee.
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Yeah, this was actually a bluefish.
That’s what bites you in Long Island waters with a 4 inch bite
Nasty motherfuckers.
Most fishermen around here say they are the best fighting fish pound for pound.
We’ve come home from many an outing with the boat covered in blood.
pic snapped a mere seconds before the dangerous marine life activity…
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A nod to the esteemed wreckers of civilization:
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