"It's not a great feeling to have 200 to 300 pounds roll over you."
Sea lions – they’re just like us! Summer time, as you know in Southern California, can bring wild crowds to local beaches. Surfers used to easy parking, through the colder months, and clear paths across clean sands to perky waves are met with bumper-to-bumper jams and delicate dances around sand toys, spike ball set-ups, to water choked with inland teenagers riding inflatable pool toys.
It can be frustrating.
So frustrating that it can lead a child birthing person to mutter naughty words under breath.
Two sea lions took it further and mild invectives, yesterday, and went full grumpy local on unsuspecting women and children enjoying the sun and sea in beautiful La Jolla.
While some ocean scientists suggested the ornery beasts, likely male, were trying to protect their breeding spots by chasing interlopers, Eric Otjen, Sea World’s in-house sea lion expert, declared that they were simply engaging in a classic bit of surf rage not uncommon on Australia’s Gold Coast.
“He’s got swimmers all around him on his way back out, but they don’t bother him. What this is all about is his right to mate,” Otjen told San Diego’s local NBC affiliate, adding: “This behavior is not uncommon at all. The reason why the video has gotten like 10 millions views is because everybody is running like Godzilla is chasing them. It may look funny that everybody is running, but it’s not a bad choice. You don’t want to be caught in the crossfire,” Otjen said. “Even if they don’t bite, it’s not a great feeling to have 200 to 300 pounds roll over you.”
While I would, and do, normally cheer cranky behavior, sea lions always get up on my wonderful friend’s sailboat and make it stink so bad. Approaching with the dingy, they will be lounging like big stinky fatsos on the sugar scoop, making ugly faces and uglier noises. All the rope reeks with their pungent yuck, when they slither off after being berated, but not much more can be done. They are protected, here, and so the only allowable defenses are flimsy and dumb. Harbor patrol will even come by and dismantle deterrents if they appear too ominous.
Sea lions suck and that is all I have to say about that except to note that 5000 lbs of methamphetamine was just taken off San Diego streets.
One more thing, though, doesn’t it seem like fat shaming to opine “It’s not a great feeling to have 200 to 300 pounds roll over you…”?
Certainly not World Surf League approved messaging.