Erickson (pictured) on the road to prosperity.
Erickson (pictured) on the road to prosperity.

Outerknown ambassador, champion surfer Sage Erickson reveals dazzling advice on how to snag Major League Baseball stud and get crazy filthy rich!

Swing for the fences!

The US Open of Surfing must be nearing its end though, metaphorically, might stretch out to eternity. Wonderful, as I could revel in the joys of Huntington Beach forever, but also I would like to know who will be crowned champion. It has given us many, worthy, champions including recently hall of fame inductee Brett Simpson, Kanoa Igarashi, Shane Beschen, Rob Machado and Sage Erickson.

And the last in the list, a beautiful flower with fierce competitive spirit, recently let all dreamers, out there, know how to hit a home run in the love department.

Erickson is currently in a committed relationship with Daniel Norris who just so happens to be a Major League Baseball player and even the uneducated surfer knows that Major League Baseball can get craaaaaaaaaaazy rich.

Norris, a left handed relief pitcher with the Chicago Cubs, has been in the bigs since 2014 and is making $1.75 million this year according to Spotrac and while that is a lot, Juan Soto, who was just traded to the San Diego Padres, recently turned down $440 million because he can certainly earn more.

Imagine earning $440 million.

Better, imagine dating $440 million.

But how?

Well, Erickson just revealed what it takes. Per The New York Post:

A fortuitous DM slide has culminated in a steady relationship between two pro athletes. Sage Erickson, a 31-year-old surfer, and Daniel Norris, a veteran lefty reliever on the Cubs, have been dating for about 1 1/2 years.

“He’s just incredible,” Erickson told E! News earlier this week. “We actually met on Instagram when Instagram suggested three people to follow when you’re browsing and he was one of them.”

Erickson revealed that she followed Norris on the platform as a suggestion from the algorithm, then made the plunge to slide into his DMs when she saw he posted a photo of a surfboard.

“I love him and I love that we’re both athletes and we can understand what we go through,” Erickson said. “We very much understand long distance. We understand wins and losses and ups and downs and staying positive and we’re probably both a little bit crazy at this point from our sports and trying to adapt and stay on it.”

The classic DM slide.

Will you utilize?

Which baseball player is on your radar?

Have at it, slugger.

Open Thread: Comment Live as the US Open of Surfing stretches into unprecedented metaphorical seven-thousandth day!

We were but babes when it began!

Kelly Slater and Tulsi G. | Photo: @tulsigabbard

World’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater invokes Tom Cruise as he joins presidential hopeful Tulsi Gabbard in pushing hot new study that reveals “big pharma falsely claimed depression was caused by a chemical imbalance – so they got people hooked on anti-depressants!”

“Shameful and criminal.”

A couple of days back a new study delivered an apparent coup de grâce to big pharma, revealing all those anti-depressants people are gobbling to stop ‘em from killing ‘emselves don’t do a thing. 

Media went wild, as y’might imagine, the findings feeding the suspicion, which has been driven to fever pitch by big pharma pushing COVID vaccines with debatable effectiveness, that it ain’t about health with these immoral sons of bitches, only cash.

The review, published in Molecular Psychiatry argued that there is “no support for the hypothesis that depression is caused by lowered serotonin activity or concentrations” and that, “the serotonin theory of depression is not empirically substantiated.”

And, therefore, “Depression is probably not caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain” and “antidepressants appear to have a generalized emotion-numbing effect…(and) it is not clear they do more good than harm.”  

The former Congresswoman from Hawaii, Tulsi Gabbard, noted for her no-nonsense style of biz, neither swinging left nor right, went at pharmaceutical co’s, tweeting, 

“Once again, Big Pharma rakes in billions of dollars based on lies. New study finds big pharma falsely claimed depression was caused by a chemical imbalance – so they got people hooked on  antidepressants that did nothing but increase the risk of suicide. Shameless & criminal.”

It’s since turned out the study might’ve overreached a little in its conclusions, and there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that pills keep some of us from swinging from the rafters, but it does shine a light on our habit of trying to find easy-fix solutions, hacks, to problems.

Of course, no debate can be considered closed without the greatest surfer of all time, Kelly Slater, delivering his own riposte. 

Slater, who was a favourite to win next week’s Outernknown Tahiti Pro until the arrival of wildcard and former event runner-up Nathan Hedge, was typically pithy in response.

“Tom Cruise was right after all,” he tweeted, drawing almost two-thousand likes.

Cruise blew up the pre-internet (papers, magazines etc) in 2005 when he went on the Matt Lauer Show and said exercise, vitamins were a better solution than drugging and electro-shocking children.

Machado (pictured) outside curtain'd van.
Machado (pictured) outside curtain'd van.

Controversy explodes as surfers trade blows over whether vans with curtains covering windows belong exclusively to perverts or are an acceptable post-session setup!

Hot topic.

Unexpected controversy exploded over the surf landscape, hours ago, as surfers fell into opposing camps around one hot topic and began trading vicious barbs. At issue, do vans with curtains covering windows belong exclusively to perverts and sex menaces or are they an appropriate set-up for post-session changings etc?

David Lee Scales brought the scenario up on our weekly chat, recently, and I imagined the truth was obvious. For debauchees. I did not know, though, that many in our community appreciate the aesthetic. My phone blew right up with surfers accusing me of deviant-ism, of profiling, of painting with too broad a moustache.

Included, one Rob Machado who coldly declared, “My van has curtains and they fucking rule.”

So where do you stand?

#TeamMasturbatorium or #TeamAllowedWithin100ftOfSchools?

David Lee and I also discussed skimboarding. All in all a very fine program.

Kelly Slater as imagined by @sensitiveseashellcollector vociferously pro-plant.
Kelly Slater as imagined by @sensitiveseashellcollector vociferously pro-plant.

World’s most important surfer Kelly Slater weighs in on detained basketball star Brittney Griner’s nine-year marijuana smuggling sentence, international drug laws: “Imagine plants being illegal.”

Controversy follows.

Yesterday it was announced that Brittney Griner, one of the WNBA’s premier stars, had received a nine-year sentence over the charge that she smuggled drugs into Russia. Griner, who was detained upon entering Sheremetyevo airport outside of Moscow on February 7th of this year when vape cartridges containing hash oil was discovered in her luggage. Mere weeks later, Russia invaded Ukraine throwing the whole business into much disarray, Griner becoming pawn in new cold-ish war etc.

Well, days ago the Phoenix Mercury center received her official sentence. Nine years in a penal colony for drug smuggling. Reaction, from celebrities and notable personalities from across the political spectrum was swift and universally damning of the severe punishment.

United States President Joe Biden declared, “Today, American citizen Brittney Griner received a prison sentence that is one more reminder of what the world already knew: Russia is wrongfully detaining Brittney.”

US Basketball released a statement reading, “We continue to support BG however we can and remain engaged with the U.S. State Department as it works diligently to being her home. The bravery Brittney is demonstrating in the face of these unimaginable circumstances speaks to the person she is and the strength she possesses. We will not be satisfied until BG is back in the U.S. and reunited with her loved ones, teammates and fans.”

Popular podcaster and comedian Joe Rogan added, “This is some really horrible shit. I hope some sort of a deal can be made to get her out, and I hope this makes us look at our own policies here in America where thousands of people are in jail for cannabis right now.”

To which the world’s most important surfer Kelly Slater responded, “Imagine plants being illegal. Horrible situation for her and also plenty of Americans. Hopefully her situation will effect change everywhere.”

Slater’s boldly pro-plant stance was applauded by many but lightly questioned by a surprising number.

@rena_lapres informed the 11x professional surfing champion “coke comes from a plant and is illegal.

@henerlyhendo added, “same with opium.”

@Ohkaygomez stretched with, “beer comes from a flower and wheat but it’s illegal to drive drunk.”

Slater, at time of writing, is yet to respond to his critics though where do you fall, here?

Should all plants be legal?

Food for thought.