A farewell to arms.

A real problem for the VAL, or vulnerable adult learner, is paddling a surfboard. Oh he, or she, might be able to pop to feet with little problem, may be able to point eight feet and six inches of foam in one direction or another. Hop off at the end of the ride, tug the leash and bring their board back to them, but paddling.

Paddling is a tricky one.

First there is the balance, laying not too far back, nose sticking straight into the air, not too far forward, nose dipping in the water. Then is, then the “feeling,” knowing when a swell will take over and the arms are no longer needed. Mostly there are those arms, noodle-esque and not very strong.

Silly little water slappers.

Most difficult but a new company, Jetson Surf Technology, has maybe cracked the paddling code, giving he VAL the keys to every lineup in the world.

Per Robb Report:

The Florida startup’s board features a built-in jet drive motor like the rest of its peers, but it only runs for short bursts, according to New Atlas. This helps creates an experience closer to that of traditional surfing, and also allows the rider to go longer periods of time between charges.

Most electric surfboards let you control their motor via a squeeze throttle or handheld remote. On Jetson’s board, it’s controlled by a waterproof touchpad integrated into the top deck. From the pad, you can select one of four surf modes: Take Off/Boost (which temporarily gives you access to 100 percent power), Impact Zone (75 percent), Paddle Out (50 percent) and Eco Mode (25 percent). Select a mode, stand up and you’re ready to go.

Specs are:

Shortboard 6’8″x 21.5″ x 3.3″, Volume 45 L, 19 lbs.
Fun Shape 8’0″ x 23″ x 3.5″, Volume 61 L , 21 lbs.
Longboard 9’0″ x 23″ x 3.5″, volume 76.5 L, 23 lbs
​
Short bursts of power, no fussy throttle. Too good to be true? Get yours here.

Wild times.

Surf fans, generally reeling, were dealt another blow this morning when news leaked out that the highest-ranked surfing in America, and its best hope for a championship in the next decade, had left his longtime sponsor for its most bitter rival. Griffin Colapinto, who hails from San Clemente and surfs extremely well, has long been a darling and also major piece of Billabong’s best-in-class field.

Continuing the legacy of Joel Parkinson, Andy Irons, etc.

In wildly unexpected news, though, Colapinto just put pen to paper, signing his name alongside Mikey Wright, Zeke Lau, Kanoa Igarashi as part of Team Quiksilver.

Per the press release:

Quiksilver, the original boardshort company, is proud to introduce Griffin Colapinto to its global surf team. The San Clemente, California–based professional surfer is currently ranked No. 7 in the world and is the leading American on the World Surf League (WSL) Men’s Championship Tour. Quiksilver has entered into a multi-year contract with Colapinto, with the ultimate goal of supporting him on his quest to become a world champion.

Colapinto has been commanding the lineup from an early age, competing in numerous surf competitions and championships, winning notable titles and consistently progressing his career. Following his successful Hail Mary aerial reverse in the 2016 Hawaiian Pro at Haleiwa, Colapinto finished the 2017 season as the WSL Men’s Qualifying Series champion and has since won numerous additional titles. Colapinto also became the first Californian to win the prestigious Triple Crown in 2017. Today, Colapinto has positioned himself as a potential candidate to compete for Team USA at the Paris 2024 Olympic games.

“Griffin Colapinto’s incredible determination, character and talent is inspiring,” states Quiksilver Global General Manager Brad Blankinship. “He’s an essential part of the team that will help lead Quiksilver into the future.” Drawn to his ambition in and out of the water, Quiksilver is honored to support Colapinto’s endeavors and is excited to partner with him on notable content projects and signature products. In addition to his incredible talent on the board, creativity comes naturally to Colapinto; he and his brother, Crosby Colapinto, have a production company, Cola Bros., where they document their sibling bond behind the scenes of competitive surfing.

“When you evolve your personality, you evolve your reality and Quiksilver is now a part of my personality,” says Griffin Colapinto.

Colapinto’s consistent forward momentum is a welcome addition to the Quiksilver team and aligns with the brand’s commitment to support determined and genuine athletes. “Since 1969, Quiksilver has been supporting the most talented surfers in the world. However, talent doesn’t measure itself solely in the water, but also through action off the board,” says Quiksilver VP of Global Marketing Bobby Gascon. “Griffin’s unique and honest personality provides a truly relatable approach that we trust will inspire fans for many years to come. We are truly honored to have him join our brand, and we look forward to our partnership.”

Oh, I suppose it must be noted that Billabong and Quiksilver are both owned by the same parent company now but do you imagine peace reigns in the Boardriders halls or do you imagine the rivalry is wickeder than ever? I once worked for Surfing magazine that was owned a parent company that also owned Surfer.

Much hatred in those halls.

But will Billabong attempt some sort of revenge?

A cubicle toilet-papering?

Worse?

V is for Vector.

The start of the World Surf League’s 2023 Championship Tour is, still, months away though if I were in Santa Monica’s C-Suite, I might be worried that it would be impossible to top 2022. But who could forget the never-before-seen growth that one iconoclastic season would bring? Millions upon millions engaging, millions upon millions chanting “give us us surfing!” in unison.

The League’s CEO, Erik Logan, gave a series of speeches after the final’s day bell rung, touting the windfalls, leaving our JP Currie to write:

Plain and simple: the WSL’s numbers are ludicrous. It’s a campaign of such deliberate misinformation and manipulation of statistics that it amounts to sheer lies. The quest for data is a goldrush. It’s the mark of Erik Logan’s media savvy, if you could call it that. Whilst new for surfing, it’s hardly an original tactic. In fact, internet culture is predicated on it.

And how could it be beat? It would certainly make me a nervous wreck but in a new and scintillating interview with shop-eat-surf, Logan has doubled down and promised even MORE MORE MORE growth.

“This year will be a record-breaking revenue year for the history of professional surfing on a couple of different vectors. Not only in terms of revenue, but equally as important, in terms of a record number of partners that are on and how we’re seeing the renewals going down the road in terms of the partners re-signing. This is truly exciting.”

Vectors for the win.

But are you excited?

What is a vector?