Thirsty.
Thirsty.

Thirst trap photos of young Kelly Slater trend on TikTok as platform’s junior users discover “world’s most delicious surfer EVER” for very first time!

"What movie or show is he on?"

We surf fans, we students of water dancing at the very highest level, have been aware of Kelly Slater for the better part of four decades. The boy from Cocoa Beach, who first burst onto the scene as an über talent in the middle 1980s and made his professional debut in 1990, seemingly had it all. Symmetrical features, green eyes that pierced, chestnut hued skin, hair begging for fingers to be run through plus much ability on the surfboard.

He, of course, used those Hollywood looks to woo the likes of Pamela Anderson, Bar Refaeli, Gisele Bündchen while also winning an unprecedented eleven championship trophies.

Over the years, the hair has been disappeared, visage lightly weathered. Oh he is still really, really really ridiculously good looking, for even a 35-year-old much less 50, but his younger package was all the way exceptional. Better than Leo DiCaprio, I’d say.

Well, as it happens, a whole new generation has discovered baby Kelly and has fallen head first into his thirst trap.

The greatest surfer of all time is currently trending on Tik Tok as teenaged girls are posting various photos to the platform and weeping at the beauty.

Overcome in some sort of hysteria.

Charlotte’s Web, which counts some 250k followers, features a montage, for example, with the caption “Young Kelly Slater is my DREAM man!” and comments ranging from “Somebody finally said it” to “hold up a picture of what movie or show he is on cause I need to find it.

@charlotte.s_web Young Kelly Slater is my DREAM mans #fyp #surf #foryou ♬ Inside their head – anastasia

Web replied “He’s a surfer” but could have also said “Baywatch.”

In any case, do you think the weight of pin-up good looks is a heavy burden to bear or do you think it’s similar to carrying the load of cut-rate surf journalism?

Heart emoji.

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

where’s keldo in this picture?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media…

Snyder
Snyder
3 years ago

Hair or no hair, he’ll get someone much younger and prettier when he decides to trade in his mid-30’s model.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
3 years ago

It’s a shocker, the boat oars, wtf is she thinking.

Another dud, shuffle on, it’s a buyer market now.

P.s if Sam Kerr owned it, than yeah maybe I’d be more interested 🤔 https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

FelipesFrontFoot
FelipesFrontFoot
3 years ago

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. This world is fucked. JP, you work with yoofs. Please tell me there’s hope

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
3 years ago

The young men and women of TikTok are going to get a harsh lesson in aging when they start Googling.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago

Hopefully a many VAL’s chuck in the towel!

Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
3 years ago

Careful what you wish for young ladies, Cameron Diaz said he was packin’ a breadstick! Occy called it a karate stick..

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
3 years ago

Tik tok and beach grit combined turning mind rot into oil.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

snake oil!

Beachie
Beachie
3 years ago

I find mediocrity in journalism and life to be understated.

Craven Morehead
Craven Morehead
3 years ago

Father time waits for no one

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

A stripper recently told me I was in good condition…

…For my age…

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I have a buddy in his early 60’s who has been battling cancer for a couple years. He goes to the gym everyday now and recently he was on a stair master next to this hot young thing. They start talking and she says you look real good for your age. He goes- My age? How old do you think I am? She says- 50. These young girls sure know what there doing.

Tom
Tom
3 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

60 is the new 30 no??

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom

65 feels like 75…BG eases the pain…laughter helps too.

Skippy
Skippy
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I believe this is called a “backhanded compliment” in the vernacular (insert Leo smug laugh in period clothing)

frank
frank
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

please tell me this was a dude who was stripping the paint off of your house before he painted it…

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

I think the burden of average to below average surf journalism is often too much to bear – really don’t know how you manage to keep the roll!!

Rich Marx
Rich Marx
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom

At least this actually happened.

astro
astro
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I think it must help if you don’t give a fuck.
Let’s face it we’re pretty undemanding of our BG and have long been beaten into shape …
If we all fucked off then they would have to change.
But we won’t so – gimme the spam, chas !

Tom
Tom
3 years ago
Reply to  astro

i just like that i can go away for a month and there is no “new” news!! It is a fucking very good skill!!!

astro
astro
3 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I’d like to commend Chas for taking on the role of Whipping Boi to get us through til the first ct.
He’s special.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
3 years ago
Reply to  astro

Doing the work for you. End of January around the corner!

Tom
Tom
3 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

No you seriously doing a good job!!! Milking the fuck out of a story for weeks until Jan is a serious skill


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