“My mate said he thought my board had snapped because of the sound but then I realised it had been my shin!”
If it ain’t a Great White coming atcha from below, eyes dead, jaws ready to cleave you in two, now it’s jacked seals turning surfers into bottom bitches.
Cornwall’s Nathan Phillips, “a local surfing legend”, was shredding at Porthleven, one of the best waves around, last Friday when a seal started giving him heat as he paddled back out.
The animal pulled on his leash, whiplashing his board into his stilt, breaking it in two.
Phillips, forty two and standing six-five in high-heels, was then too big to squeeze into the Air Ambulance and was forced to lay in “stinking” water inhaling a “cocktail of antibiotics”.
“I had just been paddling out and something started tugging on my leash,” he told Walesonline. “It kind of freaked me out because I didn’t know what it was. After I worked out that it was a seal and fended it off, it was just playing I think, but a wave then crashed down on me just after at a weird angle and sent my board flying into my shin.
“I remembered my mate saying he thought my board had snapped because of the sound – but then I realised it had been my shin when I felt my foot hitting the back of my leg. I just started screaming with pain, and my mate dragged me onto his board and told me to start paddling back to shore.”
Phillips is in a Devon hozzy awaiting surgery with his leg pinned by a metal frame.
A GoFundMe has been set up etc.
“He’s currently on morphine waiting for surgery so the least we could do would be to set up a page to try and raise some money for him,” said his pal Alec. “Him and his partner are expecting their next child in only a few weeks too, so it’s not the best time.”
As for seals,
“We do get a lot of ’em down here in Cornwall and they do try and play with you or mess about with you a bit sometimes.”
Apparently the guys self employed. That’s the risk you take being self employed though.
They’re cunts. I’ve had them attacking tuna as we reeled them in, pop up next to me in the line up and grab my fins while spearfishing and they fucken stink
their NHS seems to be working at its usual pace…
Well let’s take a wee look at this shall we, Mr Rightwingleaning: in no time at all he’ll have been whipped to a hospital, had his leg metal-framed, been pumped full of healing pharma, and had months of physio arranged … and no cost at the point of service. So yeah, our glorious NHS did him proud. Now fuck off.
Happy seals doing seal things
the Eskimos say there is nothing better than a nice tight Seal
I’ve had them pull my leash. All in good fun until they pull you off your board when you’re going for a wave. I hate that. Can almost hear the bastards laughing underwater.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
there’s a smart PR move since every day is now a well-coordinated mammal & cetacean ‘coming out’ movement…started by mermen with mermaids doing the follow-up..
a sea lion or a seal?
is that the SEAL that killed bin laden?
That’s Rob O’Neill.
Actually a very nice guy.
They must have some calcium deficient cows over there.
Sealcunt Valley
It’s the gofundme plug at the end – I get people being messed up for a while because of surfing, but does this pull away from giving out to the ones that need the most help?
Also, the NHS is pretty awesome compared to so many places.
That said, all the best mate etc etc.
Signed, sealed and delivered to hospital.
I’m Cornish,and never had a problem with sea badgers.
Probably ‘cos I’m not a big fat cunt on a Pyzel.
😂
What’s the go fund me for? There’s no medical bills
Where’s the seals go fund me ?
Nathan can suck it up and fuck off.
happy final massade endin, maude. honey wine! meade
slappe d on some ol’ spice fur the chricopratid…chick! she wants my number!
t5, t6…..
Southern Hemi seals are quite lovely.