World Surf League chiefs Erik Logan, Jessi Miley-Dyer suffer indignity at much ballyhooed SXSW; Forced to deliver inspiring talk on “massive success” in hideous hotel room reeking of stale coffee and shattered multilevel marketing dreams!

Clown car.

Well that did not turn out the way it was supposed to, now, did it. For but days ago, World Surf League chiefs (of executives Erik Logan, of sport Jessi Miley-Dyer) were busily patting themselves on the back, heavy, for being invited to speak at hipster conference SXSW as part of a thrilling panel discussion on “surfing’s swell of success and the business behind it.”

Jadson Andre, ever a masochist, was invited too.

Logan declared he left rehab and flew to Austin from Brazil in order to listen to chat about “vectors” etc.

Pure torture.

Now, there is no audio, yet, but the whole scenario appears to be very much a bummer for all involved. I don’t know what was expected, but what was delivered was a tiny hotel community room, a hastily assembled backdrop, light attendance, fluorescent lighting and depression hanging heavy.

Probably stale coffee somewhere in the hall.

A lost lanyard somewhere.

Examine this still life.

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The Last Conference.

But you have, at some point in your life attended, or been adjacent to, an insurance gathering at some hotel or another, no? Surfing’s “swell of success” and that “business behind it” make those agents look positively giddy.

Study Miley-Dyer’s face.

Really study it.

To think they could have been in Portugal watching heavy favorites bleed.

Sucks.