"Death to the robot."
If there is one thing corporations should worry about it is neither insolvency nor having all assets planted in Silicon Valley Bank. No. It is hopping into bed with the World Surf League. The “global home of surfing” rolled out an exciting new partnership at the beginning of the 2023 Championship Tour season, announcing that it had partnered with Apple Watch as the “official wearable.” Like all things Santa Monica touches, though, turns to dust.
From being refused by Olympic gold medalist Carissa Moore to bad-mouthed live by Leonardo Fioravanti, the tech giant had no idea what hit it.
And now?
The world’s most popular surfer Kelly Slater just credited the world’s leading wrist computer for leading to his elimination from the MEO Rip Curl Pro and possible end of career.
Ever gracious, Slater gave an interview at the end of the day and did not seem glum even though his entire legacy is on the line. He recounted the waves ridden during his heat, all of them and even the overlapping one, with Rainman-like efficiency before coming to a moment when he either let Joan Duru take a wave or Joan Duru simply took a wave and then shaded the Apple Watch, very quickly, for not updating scores on time.
He would be one step closer to the Olympics if not for Cupertino.
Devastating.
You certainly know that Slater is an ambassador for luxury watch Breitling. Decidedly not a computer, his Superocean features centuries of tinkering and an eco-friendly band (buy here). It’s honestly a wonder that the surf legend even strapped on an Apple Watch to begin with but was it all for this moment?
To highlight the superiority of the Swiss?
A gorgeous mountainside chalet would so fit the 11x champion in retirement. Cowbells dinging while he goes out for strolls in the clover.
Have you ever been to Switzerland?
You’re missing out.
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your time is past no matter what model of watxh you wear kelly…
The photoshopping of the Breitling on K11’s arm is impeccable. Need to hire that guy https://www.outerknown.com/…
Gets eliminated and tries to blame a watch. What a douche.
Jebus was a good cunt.
Great quote, forgot that. Wow.
That was a fun movie, kind of knew the chick would not age well and that a sequel would suck, but dang the first one was good.
Nice.
Please no. Maybe in a few years, guest cameos.
Enough.
I agree, he’s insufferable
agree we need a break. although he is infinitely more well spoken than all current tour members.
Thing with you list is, none of that is popular on IG.
Kelly will just tuck his wave pool under his arm and go home!!!
Yeah, but my Kelly Slater Breitling doesn’t tell me his heat scores either🤷♂️ https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Are those things corrosion proof?
I aim to find out
Mega Kelly fan?
Paper or no paper, it will always be written in your conscience.
I have no conscience Freerider. It’s all about selling Surfing out for a buck around here. I thank you for your presence, click by click you’re helping to turn the financial wheels of self serving greed and capitalism
I’ve always maintained that surfing was so much cooler until Negs showed up selling our lifestyle out and now look how crowded it is, oh no i’m getting bannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnned……..
Def. of no conscience:
“Lack of ‘remorse’, as indicated by being ‘indifferent’ to or rationalizing having hurt, or mistreated someone ”.
“Having no conscience indicates that you don’t care about the results of your actions”.
I wanted a blue dial Breitling, I had money to burn and was a bit drunk, and didn’t realize it was the Kelly model until after I’d purchased it. I regret nothing.