He's a dad!
The Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach is, now, officially in the rearview with certain professional surfers looking onward, to Margaret River, with the greatest of trepidation. For it is there, on Australia’s rough and tumble western shore, that sees the guillotine drop, axing underperformers for the season, sending them to places where sounds of wailing and gnashing teeth fill the air.
Challenger Series yikes.
Amongst those poised to die are Kolohe Andino, Jake Marshall and the best to ever do it Kelly Slater.
Yes, the winningest of all-time finds himself below the mid-season cut line and, likely, unable to make up what he must. Being old, the retirement, albeit forced, should come as a relief to the man who simply could not stop though, hours ago, the 11x world champion threw a monkey wrench into the proceedings by announcing the arrival of twins.
“Twins!” he penned on Instagram.
Their misshapen appearance suggests much money necessary in the future for care and development. A good thing, I suppose, that the World Surf League changed its rules, under the cover of night, to allow former champions named Kelly Slater to continue competing, and earning a paycheck, even after his neck has been severed.
Whew.
Those twins are…
…special.
More as the momentum develops.
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Cunt faced Chas “Shit Stain” Smith needs to think of what he will do when Slater stops competing?
If Slater name is not in an article Shit Stain didn’t write it.
Masterclass in clickbait right here
Seeing Kelly’s signature equipment fail him the last decade despite his talent should dissuade normal joe from following the same handicapped path, no?
Twins, but there’s three of them. He’s such a fukwit.
As for quads? the biggest marketing scam in surfing history, fin companies realised how much they could make per chinese made fin so ran with it . Yet to see anybody improve their surfing by moving to quads ( maybe Jaws guns being the exception )
none of the pro,s even use them (except KS and look where it has left him)
Many pros ride quads, Fil rides the dark arts quad in small stuff. I love a quad particularly in throaty barrels. You may need to fact check your comment.
I’ll give you tuberiding benefits but 90% of the surfers i see
here in the south west with them are doing the rail to rail wobble and popping out once they cutback
Guess not everyone just surfs ” throaty barrels ” like you choc
they go really sick in rip bowl powerful lefts too, of which I’ve had to surf a thousand backside
I didn’t say I just surf throaty barrels, you’re welcome to re-read my comment. It’s hard to know if someone is on a quad when you’re in the water.
my ex wife says you need an alarm clock…whatever? I sleep cumfortably til the judge’s call me~
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
didn’t bill murray find her in Rock The Kasbah movie? “Hi, Bill!”
Remember it well. The local surf shop got a shipment of caster thrusters in and picked one out and paddled out with the owner of the surf shop who also got one.
Casters went faster
Got me.
Slaterendorfins …. [puke]
Congratulations Chas on a superb piece of clickbait!
Yep those twins look as good as his boards!
Bravo Chas. Bra-vo. 👏
Clickest of the bait yet Chas
I remember when Simon Anderson had Triplets !
Changed my life
question for Huey…what’s a bonzer? who’s Huey?