"This is the one I've wanted to win…I've been thinking of this since I've been on the tour," said Ewing. 

Claims of home-town favouritism bedevil Rip Curl Bells Beach Pro as Brazilian world champ Filipe Toledo is bundled out of event and Ethan Ewing wins all-Australian final!

First all-Aussie final since Barton Lynch and Damien Hardman in 1993!

In deteriorating three-foot waves at Bells’ better neighbour Winkipop, North Stradbroke Island surfer Ethan Ewing has won the Rip Curl Bells Pro on its sixtieth anniversary. 

Ewing’s painterly frontside turns carved a swathe through his side of the draw. The twenty five year old destroyed Owen Wright’s fairytale farewell in round one, dominated two-time world champ Gabriel Medina, enjoyed a little of the judge’s wind behind his back in his semi with current champ Filipe Toledo, and was untroubled in the final as he easily dispatched Newcastle’s Ryan Callinan. 

Brazilian surf fans, as well as the reigning world champ Filipe Toledo, were made apoplectic after Ewing and another Australian Jackson Baker appeared to be generously overscored in their heats against the small-wave wizard.

Still, a fine win for Ewing, whose late mama Helen Lambert, won the event in 1983. 

“There’ll be a parade in the main street of Stradbroke Island tonight,” said commenter and ’78 world champ Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew. 

“This is the one I’ve wanted to win…I’ve been thinking of this since I’ve been on the tour,” said Ewing.

JP Currie’s contest analysis to follow.

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A tale of two genders!

World Surf League continues to redefine surfing after Encinitas woman wins coveted Hydro Flask Airshow title with “power manoeuvre”!

Equity!

Two months ago, the World Surf League solved the seemingly impossible-to-crack puzzle of gender, a problem that had vexed governments across the world and had even become the premise of a documentary, “What is a Woman?”

According to the WSL, to be able to compete in the gal’s div all you had to do was behave like a girl for at least twelve months (see world’s most famous woman+ Dylan Mulvaney, below, for a quick how-to) and be low on T for a year, although the WSL said it would rely on an honesty system, self-testing etc.

 

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Now, the famously progressive organisation has continued to shatter boundaries after an Encinitas woman was awarded first place at the Hydro Flask Airshow at Huntington Beach without hitting the sky.

Ella McCaffray, who is nineteen and from the pretty little beach town of Encinitas a little north of San Diego, won $1500 for a “power maneuver (not caught on live)”.

Air shows, as even ChatGPT is gonna tell ya, is an event where “surfers attempt to execute high-flying aerial maneuvers, such as 360-degree spins, flips, and grabs.”

Pleasingly, McCaffray received the same winner’s cheque as Dimitri Poulos, although the Ventura shredder did bang off a legit air.

Watch winning waves here!

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Comment live, Finals Day, Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach, “I think Filipe Toledo just turned into a unicorn!”

Everyone's a winner on final's day!

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Igarashi (insert) celebrating.
Igarashi (insert) celebrating.

Bracket round of Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach sees surf great Kelly Slater’s Olympic dream curb stomped by silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi!

GOAT roast.

Our dear JP Currie, it appears, is out of range on his glorious sojourn to the wild bits and unable to provide the day’s wrap we so desperately require. For how can footing be found, in our lives, when we don’t know what we should think about Jack Robinson becoming undone by Xavier “Cliff” Huxtable. What we should feel about another early exit for Kolohe Andino, all that promise likely getting bounced off tour.

The surf, if it can be described as thus, was not good.

Biggish, sloppy, grey.

The sort of business that only the absolutely surf-crazed would willingly paddle into.

Zeke Lau will be following Andino out the door.

And Kelly Slater.

The world’s greatest surfer was brought low by Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi after surviving the elimination round. The affair was absurdly uninspiring but what other way was this going to go? Slater retiring with dignity after his Pro Pipeline victory last year? No, the “world’s greatest…” sportsmen rarely know when to go. Slater even dreamed of an Olympic run, but a few weeks ago. In truth, professional surfing should kick its own buttocks if it can’t sort out a way for that to happen. The Floridian struggling in bumpy lumps is dull and sad. Him threading Teahupoo’s guts, though, is still magic.

It’s funny, I suppose, that what could have kept Slater surfing on tour for at least a few more years would have been quality waves.

Cloudbreak etc.

THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.

But what were your thoughts on the “bracket round?” What do you hope to see in the upcoming round of 16?

Excited to see Ethan Ewing ring the bell or lightly underwhelmed, again, by the “oldest surf contest in the world?”

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Surfer in critical condition after being hit by eight-foot tiger shark in Honolulu: “The beast returned to the scene of the crime after the attack acting very aggressively!”

Public warned to stay out of water.

Misfortune struck early Easter Sunday morning off Honolulu when a 58-year-old surfer was hit by an eight-foot tiger shark. The unidentified male was surfing near Kewalo Basin, just north of Ala Moana, at 7 am when the beast took a bite out of his right leg.

According to the Honolulu Emergency Medical Services, “life saving” first-aid was administered on the beach before the man was rushed to the nearby hospital where he remains in critical condition.

Nearby surfers were also said to have stopped the bleeding by fashioning a tourniquet.

Authorities stated that after the attack, the shark returned and was acting aggressively.

EMS spokesperson Shayne Enright said, “Honolulu Ocean Safety will continue to patrol the waters off of Kewalo Basin and Ala Moana after this morning´s shark bite. Lifeguards posted signs in the area.”

It seems like it has been a minute since tigers were front and center, dominating the stage of terror. The bulls of Reunion and great white apocalypse from a few years back had relegated the striped predator to almost afterthought.

Not anymore, I suppose.

Watch the moment here.

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