"Getting the nose of my board in the left side of my chest leaving me with a gaping hole for the rest of the trip."
The last time Soli Bailey came onto my radar, or at least my night thoughts, was several years ago when a commission came in from a Chinese magazine to write a piece about surfing, with Soli as its centrepiece.
Although I won’t reprint it here, it is the most overblown story I’ve ever written, and that’s saying something, as you know.
An excerpt.
“It’s men like Soli who hold the new surfing, which is neither dangerous nor paltry, neither exclusive nor overblown, in his palm, watching the light, the eternal light of a gift from the gods, dance over his fingertips.”
The editor, a handsome homosexual in his early thirties, asked me out, hardly surprising given the flowery words I’d submitted, and spoke in graphic terms of what he would do to the Byron Bay maestro and Pipeline Pro winner if he was given carte blanche.
Anyway.
Bailey was in Indonesia recently and in between riding six-foot Green Bush almost severed his hirsute areola following a wipeout.
“Rolllercoaster of a trip recently…couple of crazy freight trains on day two which led to a unlucky injury, getting the nose of my board in the left side of my chest leaving me with a gaping hole for the rest of the trip but the last day was too good not to get amongst it!”
Many quips in the comments, “off your tits”, “serious nipple rash”, “free the nip” and so on.
Thoughts and prayers as the Americans say.
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I like that flourish of purple prose, Dekka, but it reads better as;
“正是像索利這樣的人，將新的衝浪運動掌握在手掌中，既不危險，也不微不足道，既不排外，也不誇張，看著光芒，來自眾神的禮物的永恆光芒，在他的指尖上舞動。
They say yeah nah
they say thoots and prey-yahs
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
in addressing another part of the human body and a reveal of ancient history, the avocado…got their name from an Aztec word for testicles. In reality, however, it’s most likely that things went the other way around.
In Nahuatl — the language the Aztecs spoke — avocados were called ahuacatl. When the Spanish conquistadors arrived in America, they noted that the word was also used to refer to testicles.
source: oddee
“The native, undomesticated variety is known as a criollo, and is small, with dark black skin, and contains a large seed. It probably coevolved with extinct megafauna. In 1982, evolutionary biologist Daniel H. Janzen concluded that the avocado is an example of an “evolutionary anachronism”, a fruit adapted for ecological relationship with now-extinct large mammals (such as giant ground sloths or gomphotheres). Most large fleshy fruits serve the function of seed dispersal, accomplished by their consumption by large animals. There are some reasons to think that the fruit, with its mildly toxic pit, may have coevolved with Pleistocene megafauna to be swallowed whole and excreted in their dung, ready to sprout. No extant native animal is large enough to effectively disperse avocado seeds in this fashion”
Avocados symobolize what DR has been saying for so long…
Aztec men may have called their dangly bits avocados, but the fruit
also had a different meaning for them. To Aztecs, avocados symbolized
love.
You see, avocado trees produce both “male” and “female” flowers.
However, the different types of flowers on an avocado tree grow at
different times of the year.
As a result, they aren’t able to self-pollinate. Consequently, they will always need another avocado tree to produce fruit.
The Aztecs noticed this, alongside the trees’ tendency to grow in
pairs. It doesn’t take a huge leap of logic to then associate the
lovey-dovey trees with amour.
don’t mind me, just going over recipes…got bone broth? any greens?
like kelly, you gracefully held off on dropping the full article…did you get paid in yen from yang, the editor.
I wonder if that hurt as bad as his Rivals performance.
That’s a tough wank. Hope you made it through. Xox
Oooft but really even for me this is a boner killer. Not hawt xox
Chest shaver in a past life ?
This is so nasty and graphic, can’t understand how instagram is allowing this immoral type of content. Im disgusted.
That said, https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I was there.
#neverforget
#metoo
Now the question is would he have avoided the gash if he had the silly little gizmo (and genius marketing scam) attached?
Who nose?
I love to have a good look at an “ gaping hole”!
Why would a “billionaire” need bail bonds?
Otto?
He posted bail. It’s a bond.
Your question doesn’t make sense
More importantly, what does Aritz have to say on the matter?
Would Felipe go at Greenbush?
When the rest of the crew wanted to go he would pay the captain to tell them they don’t have enough gas.
Yepp Macas is just around the corner…
Ricardo packs stacks of Rupiah in his bag before they leave labeled “Captains Fund”
The lack of sack sack
Where do I start?
Thoughts and prayers. 🙂 Our favorite cliche.
Means you are religious, may not follow religion, but identify as Christian.
After laughing heartily, my only damp spot was the thought that “Soli Bailey” won Pipe????!!!!!
I am too lazy and stoned to googs.
Soli Bailey?
He should just super glue the nip back on and jump off the boat.
you had his back~
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
ha ha ha ha ha ha. pierce me~NOT
Nip slip
I heard the Chinese use surf articles for toilet paper.
kodak…
Ipads
we be big on asterisks in the coming days…
Brown eye pads
That’s good
Left hands.