"Times are hard, board prices are super steep so, you know, you find some groms in China to make them super cheap..."
The surf comedy space has exploded and in just the last few years. While Mick Fanning and Joel Parkinson were very funny in 2004’s Doped Youth, the entire genre used to mostly revolve around Benji Weatherly and Donovan Frankenreiter making hijinks. Good but not great like it is today.
For today, John Wayne Freeman, Sterling Spencer, Luke Cederman and Filipe Toledo each producing hilarity near daily or, in Toledo’s case, when the tour rolls into Tahiti.
One of my favorites of this new crop is Tyler Allen. The voice over artist has a sense of humor that slices like a knife and, well let’s just get to his latest offering because it is, for certain, going to become vanished quickly.
The piece opens with a Chinese man, chained to the floor, sad and shaping a blank to the tune of Steely Dan’s Dirty Work. Allen, wearing a bald cap, comes in and sings, “Times are hard, board prices are super steep so, you know, you find some groms in China to make them super cheap…”
And it gets better from there.
Allen captures Kelly Slater’s verbal ticks perfectly, interjecting them into lyrics such as “When you need to get a surfboard and your local surfboard shaper has been shut down, that’s the time you get me running and making Kelly sounds (cha-ching).”
Art.
The funniest ever surf bit (save Toledo’s various masterpieces)?
Discuss.
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Funny? It’s ridiculous. Almost as bad as an illiterate kook who can barely get off his knees getting paid to deride actual surfers…about actually surfing! Every surfer knows their limits. Some push past it any chance they can, some hover around it, some want nothing to do with it…but every single surfer respects that limit and and those of their fellow surfers because only a surfer knows the feeling. You, ChasKingKookSmith will never be a surfer until you understand this…STOP BAGGING OUT FELIPE…the guy rips…WGF if he don’t charge Chopes…you probably get nervous just rolling into the El Porto porta-loo or even the carpark
Tyler Allen should do a bit on post-heat interview cliches like this:
https://youtu.be/KeVca9MwDX8
Brilliant, a touch above Sterling. (Sterling can be funny but a more talented film maker). Singing Kelly’s verbal ticks must have been really hard.
But consider this: we mock Barton Lynch for being a “Commie” (whatever that means) AND we mock Kelly for being a radical Capitalist.
Kneelo, deepest but getting dogged badly
My sock drawer needs arranging, yaaaaaawn
Walter Becker is rolling over…
With laughter…
As am I.
Great band
Notknown thinks this is epic.
This song hits so much harder while drinking a Purps, the only organic energy drink with zero calorie and zero sugar in environmental packaging.
You either die as a goat or live long enough to become a kook
+1 for steely dan, +2.5 for the Kelly “you know”s, +2 for funny Chinese man, -1 for singing skills, +3 for the bald cap = 7.5.
Not bad, nearly hit the excellent range.
seconds left in the heat…gonna need a back-up score! Bohdisattva?
Deacon Blues
3M’s has power…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Studies have shown that Kelly Slater is bad for planet earth, toxic actually
Hoping you at least got paid to write this.
The best shit since the donger need food.
https://youtu.be/cKoWADB2dR…
Funniest shit in surfing is down here, for better or for worse.
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….