The Satanic Bible of the Sport.
The World Surf League, from its birth in 2015 circa 1976 to today, must be utterly confused. Purchased for free by a billionaire and promising more fans than America’s National Football League, the WSL née Association of Surfing Professionals has been met with embarrassment after embarrassment.
Paul Speaker.
To name but three of many including Jessi Miley-Dyer and Dave Prodan, who allegedly killed surfing.
Dirk Ziff always had his collaborationist surf media though, supporting through shame, buoying false narratives, turning blind eyes to utter nonsense. Hoping, waiting for drippings from that table, were premium surf blog Stab, The Inertia, an absolute affront to anything good or decent in this world, and the remains of Surfer Magazine, which didn’t critique because it was dead.
Months ago, however, the Bible of the Sport reanimated as an AI zombie after shuttering under David Pecker and part of its mission, appears, to include burying the World Surf League.
In a recent social media post celebrating the final Top 5 men, who will head to Lower Trestles sometime in early September to watch Filipe Toledo hoist a trophy* minus one who has a broken back that, for some reason, won’t be recognized, the World Surf League dubbed number five Jack Robinson “Jack Ronbinson.”
Par for the course considering the misprint on Kanoa Igarashi’s jersey as “Igarshi” and also Erik Logan’s entire run.
In any case, Surfer’s weird corpse has decided to pile on the World Surf League, noting the spelling error and putting it on blast.
Proto surf bot penning:
Oops.
In the official Instagram announcement of the upcoming World Surf League Finals, to be held at Lower, Trestles September 8th – 16th, someone made a whoopsie.
Jack Robinson, the west Australian hard charger and pre-heat bellydancer, who had a stellar season with two wins (Pipeline and Teahupo’o) barely made the cut into the one-day, winner-take-all event, despite a knee injury, which forced him to withdraw from his home event at Margaret River. And the WSL did him dirty with an unfortunate typo.
Apparently “did him a dirty” not quite fully understood by the robot.
Surfer, while dead, still has a substantial social following of people who don’t know/don’t care and I feel it must hurt the Santa Monica-based “Home of Professional Surfing’s” feelings much.
When will the buy-off be attempted and how much will John Severson’s once proud organ take to flip Wall of Positive Noise?
I’m guessing $1,000 and next week with the machine being redirected to criticizing broken backs before it is redirected again to praising all things WSL.
Can’t wait.
More as the story develops.
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Preliminary Site Assessment Workplan
Table of Contents
Contents Page
Certification Page ………………………………………… ii
Background ………………………………………… 2
Description of the Physical Location
Of the Property ………………………………………… 3
2.0 Description of the Clan Laboratory ………………………… 3
3.0 Visual Assessment of Contamination ……………………… 4
3.1 Main Residence ……………………… 4
3.2 Garage/Clan Laboratory ……………………… 5
3.3 Yard Area ……………………… 5
3.4 General Property Area ……………………… 5
3.5 Septic System ……………………… 5
4.0 Primary Areas of Potential Contamination ……………… 6
5.0 Secondary Areas of Potential Contamination ……………… 6
6.0 Proposed Sampling Locations ……………………… 6
6.1 Garage/Clan Lab ……………………… 6
6.2 Main Residence ……………………… 6
6.3 Septic System ……………………… 7
7.0 Proposed Sampling Methodologies ……………………… 7
8.0 Preliminary Site Assessment Report ……………………… 7
Team Heard vs Team Depp?
The people in the crowd yelled at him to throw the paper towels
Compare that to Biden commenting that the ground is hot while yukking it up with the cadaver sniffing dog, then telling a lie about almost losing his house to a fire (it was a small kitchen fire extinguished in 20 min) and being worried about losing his Corvette.
purusing the tainted media and tallying figures, I’d say middle fingers are winning o’er the traditional shaka. FJB is also trending.
Can a person vomit and roll over in their grave at the same time? Asking for John Severson.
Chas, you know surfer had an editorial position listed on indeed right? I tried to convince my fiancee to do it since shes an actual investigative journalist and has been around surfing and events her whole life, but she got a killer offer from a big paper and took that instead. You could reach out and finally “cross the hall” albeit digitally and revive the zombie corpse of what used to be the bible.
Maybe Biden will just toss out a few paper towels? Otto’s identity is tied into trump culture. I’ve tried to see his POV, but I can’t shove my head that far up my ass.
Jeezuzza trumpypump penis enlarger gets a run on bg. Da world has gone mad-der.
On evidence of Robinson’s personal Instagram account, he’s doing himself plenty dirty.
Surely there’s some tech oligarch reading this that can make it happen
The minute the Reef Brazil ads stopped, it was doomed. Some gaylord got in there, and wrecked it.
I mayyyybe laughed Xox
That’s the best criticism of Biden you can muster?
Seeings how politicians are in charge of the response to the tragedy, their performance is most certainly under scrutiny.
You still can’t criticize Biden. Pathetic.
…and West[ern] Australia has a CAPITAL W…Charles Court would be a rolling in his grave.
According Flick in the booth Jack Robo is from Trigg , that’s pretty epic.
I have a mate called Trigg cos that’s where his parents banged x
…in the dunnies at the point? Nice.
You know him too!?
…I heard that, and was almost going to google it and see if he was born and bred etc at Margarets, but in the end lost interest.
He acts like a spoilt brat from trigg so maybe some truth behind it.
So Chas, you gonna cover how much of an asshole Joe Biden acted like on Maui. Telling bs stories about his house almost burning to the ground and nearly losing his Corvette?
And he still beat your boy! And will again, if your boy makes it that far, next November. Also lost to Hillary (!!!) in popular vote. In a trio of losers, yours still the loserest.
In the face of unspeakable tragedy, Lahaina, with the “President” acting in an absolute disgusting manner, you, you take the time to defend him. Fuck you
Except for Hilary. She was really properly weak.
That headline is impossible to understand, I do smoke weed, but still…
@@surfads (Disqus):disqus ? What do you have to say about that?
I’d say Mike is humourless
#Team mike here.
ditto…also I think it actually is ‘did him dirty’ not ‘did him a dirty,’ although not sure what linguistic expert we would need to confirm — maybe Warchild?? And ‘whoopsie’ doesn’t seem like an AI turn of phrase, but then again I learned to type on a manual typewriter in the pre-internet era so not well suited to judge.
now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party…
https://chairish-prod.globa…
Careful Chas, they are beating you at your own game.
Did you see the bill and ted article they just posted?
Surfer is immature and embarrassing. Oh wait….
Rumor is that they’ve hired Mason Ho as their copy editor.
They added a guy with some surf cred, Jake Howard, maybe there is some hope.
What I would give to get the keys to go free reign at a joint like Surfer and be paid to do it full time.
I would enjoy that, I think!!!!
Humour-Adjacent Agitators Beach Grit Leg Swept By Zombie Surf Media Outlet On Salacious WSL Scoop
That would have been better. Oh wait. I can change!
Now how you like them apples?
😂
Although you went for US spelling. If Derek posted it would it be ‘humour’? What way does your toilet flush?
down, of course
Chas doesn’t flush. He likes the bouquet of shit, so he can stir it up.