"There can be only one 'world's heaviest wave', and that title rests soundly with the wave at Teahupo'o (don't make saying it more difficult than it need be; it's pronounced Cho-poo)."
The World Surf League, and its ever diminishing stable of surfers, is headed toward the final stop of the season, rendered largely irrelevant by the much ballyhooed, increasingly dumb “final’s day” at a soft wave breaking over cobbled stone.
Teahupo’o.
The end of the road.
Yes, former CEO Erik Logan destroyed much during his nearly five year reign, including his own marriage and life, but the Championship Tour (formerly known as the Dream Tour) has suffered the brunt of his horny idiocy.
It doesn’t matter what happens at the heavy left, one responsible for breaking the back of Australia’s great hope Ethan Ewing. For the “big showdown” at Lower Trestles is set.
Filipe Toledo for the win.
The brave coward, too, scared to paddle the aforementioned “Chopes” but no matter because no waves will appear during the increasingly cursed waiting period ushering him directly to his second championship with, I suppose, much adulation.
Huzzah.
But also “Chopes.”
Days ago, the world’s preeminent surf thinker, a veritable Buddha, published an important piece on the intimate outdoor blog The Inertia declaring that the Tahitian wave has been misgendered.
And even though I know better, having grown up in Hawaii and spent considerable time in Polynesia, I’ve been mispronouncing Teahupo’o along with everybody else. Perhaps that’s why it seems to me that this ramp-up to the Summer Olympics is a good time to change that egregious habit. Soon the eyes of the world will be turned to a tiny, incredibly picturesque village on the island of Tahiti, perceived entirely in the context of international surfing. A village whose residents have, for decades now, been incredibly generous, sharing their remarkable natural resource with the hordes of foreigners who descend on this little slice of paradise every season to shoot their videos and hold their contests and establish their reputations and earn their salaries…and yet still say the place’s name wrong. Yeah, let’s fix that. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the proper pronunciation is “Tear-hoo-poh-oh.”
There can be only one “world’s heaviest wave“, and that title rests soundly with the wave at Teahupo’o (don’t make saying it more difficult than it need be; it’s pronounced Cho-poo).
Ouch.
Sam George crying into his Nia Peeples scented pillow tonight?
Should we make a Nia Peeples scented candle for him tonight?
Discuss.
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Sam George is pronounced “KUNT.” Easy to say, easy to remember.
It was in Tracks years ago I recall where a writer said that Sam’s only benefit would be as a bicycle stand due to him being buried in the sand head first with his arse up.
Ladyboy?
FWIW
Dude’s had five other wives beside Nia P.
“Oh, and in case you were wondering, the proper pronunciation is “Tear-hoo-poh-oh.”
Bloody Inertias, comin’ round here, taking all my jokes! They took our jokes!! Theyy took err jerks!! Dey took ‘er jerks!! Durka der!!
You can’t ask Joey Turpal. He pronounced it 4 different ways in the lull between sets in a single round 16 heat last year.
You reckon that’s bad. I went to the museum of surfing in Huntington Beach a few months ago and the guy there when I told him I was from Victoria said how he always wanted to visit “tor-kwah”.
What’s another fuckwit in Toocool haha xox
Rodriguez…RIP! Sugar Man…x climb up on his music!
*bog
As a tail end boomer but never “in-surf”, I laugh at these pathetic cunts.
All of the so-cal exjournos who think they’re so fucken important.
You’re not and never were to most of us under the line. Full of shit.
Giving yourselves wristies every year. Fucken pathetic. Here’s a wank stained certificate. Now fuck off and take your goatwhore with you.
“They say” if you find something you love and can make money from it you will never work a day in your life.
Bah. Humbug. They ALL becomes jobs eventually.
Some months ago I hit the eject button. At the moment I’m perfectly happy doing fuckall. I’m really good at doing fuckall. A natural, some unkind people might say.
I’ll see how long it lasts ….
Good on ya
I’m fortunate enough to only work for 6 months of the year. I’m much better at doing nothing than doing something.
Reliable sources report that Sam George avoids going into carnival fun houses. It’s said he feels the mirrors mock him, which incidentally remind him of Beach Grit. It’s all too much for his ego.
I hate mirrors too
Son of Sam or no. 2?
We’ve been over this, it’s pronounced 🫖💩💩
Haven’t seen the condescending cunt around here for a bit. Who dealt the hammer blow? Xox
coffee books
Having never been there and never ever going there, I can safely say it is pronounced Chew Pooh.
Here’s what I can tell you about it. 35 HOURS!
Fuck that. My back starts hurting on the flight to Sydney.
sell outs r’ petco and Otto’s pods! hold!
The cool thing about Teahupoo is it is indeed the end of the road and the public busses in Papeete whiz around with Teahupoo as the destination.
The Cockfosters of Tahiti
Like Harry Potter and his unbelievably powerful nemesis maybe we out of respect(fear) could in hushed tones start calling it the surf break that shall not be named.
dad read the hobbit. didn’t buy it~
My dad read it to me when we were camping out on an island in a canvas tent with the light of a kerosene lantern and the haunting calls of morepork (native owl).
Improved the story immensely.
sex & surfing by ….BeachGrit. The Bar…https://youtu.be/rcsYa6jFRoY
Hard to trust the local pronunciation given how much their Frog accent baguettises it. Māori would suggest a silent-ish T, hence the common and semi-correct “Cho”. Tear-in-my-car-seat.
Terry, my car seat!
Buenos Aires toutes les mondes !
strap jeff in/
“Terry MacKenzie” is always a classic to use in Indo.
Oh shit. That is very good. I need to go back just to use it.
Also, run round in circles flapping your arms saying: “I am a chicken I am a chicken.” Locals love it. Great way to break any tension.
Yeah, I struggle with how an American know it all Surf Journalist has somehow cracked the pronunciation code.
Americans can’t even pronoune Craig properly.
Hahaha who the fuck is Cregg aye xox
I think I may have already shared this anecdote with you, but I was working with a couple of journalists after the earthquake and they were feeling guilty, as they were doing something very unethical and rerecording their audio. Turns out they’d discovered early on that if they pronounced your town’s name correctly, locals would go cold and be less forthcoming. So, they’d put on their best sheep shagger accent, got the interview then, back in the studio, rerecorded their questions in the do-gooder, lunchtime Te Reo parlance.
Yeah but the Maori somehow turn Wh into F. And that’s before we even mention NZ things like fush and chups.
So in NZ (strangely pronounced En Zed) it would be a silent T. Last time I checked, the wave is in Tahiti, not NZ. Yes, both are Polynesian cultures but language is not necessarily universal across the entire Pacific.
Tahitian and Māori are perhaps the closest though. There’s the legend of the Tahitian Tupaia, who traveled with Cook and was able to immediately converse with Māori. But yes, not in other islands, particularly Tonga, which is the most different.
Sam George can suck on me McKnob
qoute ya?