Beloved surf actor Gary Busey implicated in nasty Malibu hit-and-run likely tarnishing angelic reputation

"Utah, get me two (lawyers)."

Of all the surf characters in our pantheon, from Patrick Swayze to Keanu Reeves, Matt Adler to Matt McConaughey, Gary Busey is, without doubt, the most beloved. With important roles in Big Wednesday and Point Break, the the 79-year-old with an expressive face and wily mouth has been able to capture the best, the purest of who we are both in and out of the water.

It is with much shock and dismay, then, that it appears Busey was involved in a very un-gentlemanly hit-and-run whilst driving the Pacific Coast Highway through Malibu just before America’s Labor Day. According to TMZ, a woman was minding her own business when SLAM! her back bumper became hit. Instead of stopping and exchanging information, which is customary, the offending newer Volvo station wagon zipped off.

Not about to be hit-and-runned, the woman follows in hot pursuit until the Volvo pulls into a restaurant parking lot. There she confronts the driver, who just so happens to be Gary Busey, looking peak surf chic in a baseball cap, glasses and a khaki jacket.

Very Former.

When asked why he did not stop and follow typical protocol, Busey boldly declared, “I’m private,” then forwent his lunch and zipped off again.

I’d imagine with the way the court of public opinion is these days that Busey’s angelic reputation will be tarnished.

Sad.

But back to fender benders. Of course the thing for the offender to do is stay and exchange information, but I’ve always been of the mind that the offended should usually shrug and say, “Called a bumper for a reason, amirite?” I studied in Cairo, Egypt for six months during my college years, Arabic, Islam, history etc., and I was always impressed by the way Egyptians used their bumpers. They’d use them to move cars and fit into small parking spots, use them to push traffic along, once I was even in a cab and he used his to move a pedestrian from the middle of the road all the way to its other side. They aren’t legal sticklers, like us, all decadent and in moral and cultural decline.

Maybe the woman in the Busey exchange should think about that.

Walk like an Egyptian.