Surfline cattily swats down Kelly Slater
forecast for Lexus Pipe Pro!
By Chas Smith
"Much better conditions compared to previous days,
but still not ideal."
Yesterday, the door officially opened on the
World Surf League’s 2024 Championship Tour. The Lexus Pipe Pro,
which kicks the season off, was not run, due poor conditions, but
surf fans were thrilled by the appearance of surf great Kelly Slater looking at the
models and declaring Wednesday would be an ideal day
featuring triple-overhead bombs and ideal winds.
While the 11x champion knows much about much, including
horticulture, cartography and Ayurvedic medicine, he likely knows
most about waves. His forecast included tidbits about swell
interval and what it meant plus why.
A glorious epistemology.
And yet not all parties were thrilled. Surfline is, you know,
the World Surf League’s official forecasting partner and the
Huntington Beach-based team was clearly peeved by having Slater do
its job. Today, in an act of cattiness not seen since Vanderpump
Rules, Surfline’s Jonathan Warren
declared:
SWELL/SURF: Fading shorter/mid-period WNW swell. Biggest
early, with double overhead+ sets still rolling in with fair+
consistency, occasionally bigger. Decreasing a notch or two into
the afternoon. This swell will remain broken up with shifty peaks,
especially as a new/secondary N-NNE swell builds in. Should see
opportunity at both Pipe and Backdoor throughout the day. Much
better conditions compared to previous days, but still not
ideal.
WIND: Light+ offshore easterly wind early to mid-morning,
becoming moderate from the ENE late morning into the
afternoon.
Decent conditions? Not ideal?
Meow!
Warren went on to share a fairly bleak outlook with “low
quality” surf malingering through the entire waiting period. Will
last year’s wave curse plague the World Surf League once again?
Or will Kelly magic reign?
Thoughts?
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Obsidian tsunamis exploding up and over
deathly shallow reef. No entry point. No exit, either. But there
are insane, mind-bending barrels to be had, somewhere in the
middle. And if there was anybody who could get into them, it would
be the brothers Florence.
New John John and Nathan Florence edit a
“Machiavellian play” on day one of Lexus Pipe Pro
By surf ads
The question John John asks us all: why shouldn’t
this be the life he leads? Hasn’t he done enough already?
I was cruising youtube early this morning to see if Pipe
had kicked off, when a new Nathan Florence video popped up
in my feed.
Only 24 minutes old. Less than 2000 views. For one of the
world’s most popular surf youtubers, this was primo content. As
fresh and immediate as if you were sitting next to Nathan Florence
himself while he uploaded it.
You gotta love it.
Remember when you’d wait months, even years to see
footage of your favourite surfers? Now it’s delivered fresh into
your tv or smartphone. For free. The day it happens. There’s no
finer endorsement of the connection and intimacy allowed by the
technological advantages of this internet age.
We should still burn it all down, of course.
It’s the classic double-edged sword. The Faustian pact we’ve
signed, sacrificing community and culture and art, in exchange for
access and sheer volume of content…
But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I want to
talk about the Florences.
In that piece I wondered how he might raise the bar
again. Well here he is, with brother John John in tow, chasing down
a mutated, backless right reef slab somewhere in the Solomon
Islands.
Obsidian tsunamis exploding up and over deathly
shallow reef. No entry point. No exit, either. But there are
insane, mind-bending barrels to be had, somewhere in the
middle. And if there was anybody who could get into them, it would
be the brothers John John and Nathan Florence.
Essential, as my tabloid-courting mentor would
say.
But the story doesn’t end there. Could the timing of
this release be a Machiavellian play by the wildly talented duo? A
thinly veiled show of hand to the WSL – and the world – of
John John’s true intentions for his career?
Many have speculated on his increasingly tenuous link
to professional competitive surfing.The invite from brother Nate to
join him on the world slab tour.
Now we have the two of them dropping the most ultimate
of slab clips on day one of the pipe waiting period.
Ouch!
I won’t claim credit for the connection. It was
pointed out first by Aint That Swell.
It was a masterclass in the art of political
maneuvering, all in their own words. There were lies. Deception.
Backstabbing. Political plotting that would make Frank Underwood
look like an amateur.
Seemingly innocuous events being meticulously planned
and strategically executed to reveal the player’s true position,
only with the benefit of hindsight.
You’d be mad to think if there wasn’t some of that at
play here.
It would be classic JJF. Classy, dignified. He can
knowingly wash his hands of any direct claims of criticism towards
the current tour. But it’s just as powerful in what it’s not saying
as what it is.
The question he asks us all, without having to say a
word: why shouldn’t this be the life he leads? Hasn’t he done
enough already?
With Carissa and Steph already pulling their
respective pins, surely Jon Jon is laying the groundwork for his
own retirement call.
How long do you reckon he’s got left?
I’m calling retirement after winning Gold at the
Olympics, so make sure you use him in your Surfvival team early. At
least I think that’s how it works.
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Bethany Hamilton, former marquee surfer for Rip Curl,
reiterates her position on trans-gals in women's
sports.
Bethany Hamilton breaks silence on
transgender furore engulfing discount wetsuit brand Rip Curl
By Derek Rielly
“Male-bodied athletes should not be competing in
female sports. Period.”
(The story of how Mulvaney broke Budweiser, the beer of choice
for those who can’t decide between water and alcohol, is legend.
Bud sent Mulvaney a custom can with her face on it. This was part
of a campaign to celebrate her “365 days of womanhood.”Conservatives took to social
media to express their outrage. They were joined by a chorus of
voices who felt that Bud Light had betrayed their duty to be as
bland and inoffensive as possible.)
“Yes, #BoycottRipCurl has leaped past the numerical mark of
roughly 7000 tweets required for ‘trending’ with over 18,000, and
counting, the wetsuit and soft good manufacturer’s name in
lights.”
It had started to back off a little, as things do in this
fast-paced world, until Bethany Hamilton, the disabled girl dumped
by Rip Curl for the T-shredder Sasha Jane Lowerson, made a short
post on X rekindling the outrage.
“Male-bodied athletes should not be competing in female sports.
Period,” wrote Bethany.
The tweet was viewed boy 400k users, liked 13k times, reposted
1.6k times and hit an astonishing 532, and growing, comments.
Male-bodied athletes should not be competing
in female sports. Period.
“Your voice is important in surfing. Thank you from me,” wrote
the world champion surfer Ian Cairns, whose own fountain of
testosterone shows no sign of abating even in his seventh decade.
“But more importantly thank you from every little girl catching her
first wave. Pressure needs to land on @ISAsurfing and @wsl to
change their position on this issue. International Athletics is in
the Olympics but has a biological woman policy only.”
From others:
When men & boys are allowed to compete against women &
girls, it completely defeats the purpose of having female
categories. It’s cheating
What Rip Curl did to you, and who they replaced you with, is
despicable.
When a category was opened for people who identify as trans
to swim in, no one registered. It is about validation for these
men, it is about taking what is women’s. Human beings cannot change
sex, so everyone can follow the same rules and compete against
their sex. Men’s categories are usually open to all anyway, it is
just that due to the male advantage women are not a threat to them
in sports.
Interestingly, Bethany took a little heat herself for using the
words “Male-bodied” to describe men.
Why are you participating in the doublespeak language
takeover? Men should not be in womens sports. Women cannot become
men no matter what surgery or medications they take.
What is “male-bodied athletes”?
“Male” is fine.
I appreciate you using your large presence to speak out. But
What the hell is a “male-bodied” athlete? Don’t stutter. Just say
it.
Anti-trans gals in sports meme posted in light of
Rip Curl furore.
TBH, the whole invasion into women sports does not make
sense.
We, transwomen, spend a huge amount of efforts to become as
close to biological women as we can. It is a very difficult path
full of suffering. And then some of us attempt to grab a low
hanging fruit of winning against women in sports using our
advantage. a) It is a part of our male body past. We were trying to get
rid of it and now use it for benefits? b) We have chosen extremely difficult path and suddenly chose
to go an easy cheating way to victory?
Trans people should participate in either social sport
events, open category or our own categories. Invading female
category is the same as participating in a wrong weight category
for an advantage.
Very interesting, yes?
More importantly, anyone else get ’emselves a new Flash Bomb at
these wild new prices?
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Kelly Slater (insert) knows everything about the Lexus
Pipe Pro.
Surf great Kelly Slater predicts “triple
overhead” bombs for opening day of Lexus Pipe Pro!
By Chas Smith
Welcome to the 2024 World Surf League.
When Kelly Slater speaks, surf fans around the
world instantly bend their ear. The eleven-time world champion,
knows a thing or two about a thing or two, as they say, including
but not limited to infectious diseases, cryptocurrencies and wave
forecasts.
It is no surprise, then, that the World Surf League asked the
greatest surfer of all-time (male) to give his read on the
officially open Lexus Pipe Pro. The waiting period began just hours
ago, though Kona winds are ravishing Pipeline’s iconic teepees.
Slater says don’t worry, though, Wednesday should deliver double
to triple overhead bombs and clean conditions. Thursday might be ok
too and then next week will also provide the sort of conditions
professional surfing at its highest level needs. Throbbing
conditions that separate the worthy from Filipe Toledo.
But did your heart skip a beat, this morning, after realizing
professional surfing is back? Yago Dora, Matthew McGillivray and
Kade Matson paddle the first
heat. Slater will go against Jack Robinson and Rio
Waida in the third. On the women’s side, Tyler Wright kicks off her
2024 campaign in the first heat against Bettylou Sakura Johnson and
Luana Silva. The just-retired and greatest surfer of all-time (all
categories) Carissa Moore appears in heat two.
Rip Curl ambassador Mick Fanning (pictured) no stranger
to controversy.
Worldwide fame reaches relatively obscure
surf brand as “Boycott Rip Curl” trends on Twitter!
By Chas Smith
No such thing as bad publicity.
The surf industry, as you know well, has fallen
upon extraordinarily hard times. Once-proud brands like Quiksilver,
Billabong, RVCA, Hurley etc. have been scooped up by large
management companies, their logos slapped on everything from toilet
plungers to beard oil companies and dumped into big box retailers.
Professional surfers, formerly employed to surf professionally, are
joining bread lines as their contracts are shredded.
Metaphorical death and real destruction everywhere.
But a bright spot?
Torquay’s Rip Curl, not previously a household name, has reached
international fame even trending on
Twitter.
Yes, #BoycottRipCurl has leaped past the numerical mark of
roughly 7000 tweets required for “trending” with over 18,000, and
counting, the wetsuit and soft good manufacturer’s name in
lights.
Meet Sasha – a West Australian waterwoman who loves the
freedom found in surfing, disconnecting from the mainstream, and
the feeling of dancing on constantly changing waves. When we were
adventuring through Western Australia recently, we were keen to
know what The Search means to the surfers who crossed our paths.
These surfers live on a wild stretch of coast where there’s always
a new wave or campsite just a little further down the road or off
the beaten track. It’s a state of mind, always being ready to try
something new, curious to seek out knowledge and learn the rules –
and break them.
Lowerson was pictured wearing a cute Rip Curl bathing suit.
Backlash to the message was instant, especially in light of
Bethany Hamilton’s recent departure from the brand over her views
on transgender surfers competing in the women’s division.
As the pile on continued, Rip Curl quietly disappeared
the missive which is, honestly, curious. The Rip Curl
marketing team certainly would have been aware of the Bud Light
brouhaha alongside other “Go woke, go broke,” actions against
progressive companies. The cost counted before hand?
Apparently no but now what? Will Rip Curl’s C-Suite team hunker
down in the flashbomb shelter and wait for the storm to pass?
Apologize publicly? Double down?
Whatever the decision, Rip Curl being on the tip of tongues from
Denver to Dubuque has to be good, right? No such thing as bad
publicity, yes?
Or will the weight of outrage crush the house that Mick Fanning
built?
