Sizzling rumor: Living legend Kelly Slater vying to become U.S. Olympic surf coach despite team concerns over his famed spotlight hogging!

Would you rather have Slater in your corner and a medal around your neck or a few thousand extra dollars in your pocket?

Surfing’s official inclusion into the Olympic Games has been, frankly, glorious for so many reasons. Not only does the entire globe get to appreciate our favorite pastime once every four years, not only does the World Surfing Games and its endless repechage take on actual value but the myriad storylines leading up to the international spectacle are… pure titillation.

Will, for example, the brave coward Filipe Toledo face his demons and waltz into the Cave of Skulls or hand his already-secured slot to Gabriel Medina?

Can Sky Brown become the first in history to compete in both the skateboarding and surfing portions, flying halfway around the planet in order to do?

Is Kelly Slater going to be the U.S. team coach despite in house concerns that the spotlight-loving champion might suck all air out of the room?

The sizzling rumor, coming from a well-placed source is “99% sure” the 11x World Champion is actively petitioning for the role after having failed to make the squad as a competitor. Now, you would think John John Florence, Griffin Colapinto, Caroline Marks and Carissa Moore would be thrilled having Slater providing helpful hints from the channel, but, as this rumor goes, there is a real worry the greatest surfer ever will take up the entire stage, international media flocking to his tanned turtle’d 56-year-old feet and failing to recognize anyone else.

A genuine misgiving.

The Olympics, as you know, provides financial opportunities for professional surfers not available during the other three years. Brands loving the fact that millions upon millions of the elusive “non-endemic fan” will, for two weeks, become enamored enough to buy toothpaste, cereal, even pharmaceuticals adorned with shiny professional surf faces.

Slater, as you also know, has a penchant for grabbing the spotlight any time it dares stray. Who could forget when Joel Parkinson dared announce his retirement? Or Adriano de Souza won an inspirational championship? The list of the oldest ever professional surfer “entering the chat,” as it were, well-documented.

The question, I suppose. Is it worth the dimmed attention to have a five-time Teahupo’o winner sharing tube secrets?

Would you rather have Slater in your corner and a medal around your neck or a few thousand extra dollars in your pocket?

Something to think about.