Julian Wilson (left) and Gabriel Medina (right) representing the yin and yang of professional surfing.
Julian Wilson (left) and Gabriel Medina (right) representing the yin and yang of professional surfing.

Puerto Rico readies for massacre as World Surfing Games enters blood-splattered repechage day

Olympic dreams stretch out their necks.

Warning bells are sounding, this morning, on the island protectorate of Puerto Rico. They are not signaling an incoming hurricane nor yet another referendum on joining the United States but rather alerting the three million souls who call the isle of enchantment home that the blood of professional-adjacent surfers will be gushing through rain gutters.

For today, the World Surfing Games, which got underway only 48 hours ago, is serving an entire repechage offering. Surfers who lose not afforded a repechage repechage round. They will have to pack their bags, and Olympic dreams, and offer their necks to International Surfing Association strongman Fernando Agguere for a swift and certain end.

Or, not swift, I suppose. The World Surfing Games has more heats than an animal shelter full of unspayed cats but there is no denying that today a loss really means a loss.

I think.

Big names will be fighting for continued existence including Olympic silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi, Japan’s other face Connor O’Leary and former Championship Tour Peruvian Miguel Tudela.

Spared until later is South Africa’s Jordy Smith who has gotten off to ripping start on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour, currently ranked fourth, and now eating children who once venerated him.

Germany’s Leon Glatzer survived Smith’s wrath in the second round, declaring, “It was a pretty stacked heat for a second round only. Just competing with Jordy, he’s been one of my idols since I was a little kid. I watched him basically before every free surf. It was a really good heat.”

The aforementioned Igarashi becoming victim.

If you are a sadistic person, the sort that relishes in the misery of others, you will find today extremely enjoyable.

Watch, and further sicken your soul, now.

WEBCAST - Competition Day 3 - 2024 ISA World Surfing Games
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No Feelings
No Feelings
2 years ago

I just learned a new word. And I got a Writing degree from UCSD.

Chas Smith, erudite, yet crass. Now I know why I can’t help coming back to BG.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
2 years ago

I’m perhaps naively thinking you’re being serious, but let’s say you are serious – nobody cares about 3rd, 4th etc, even those vying for it. Whereas, a Plate is still quite prestigious, as it is ‘a 1st place,’ just worth less points. You could even go the full Montessori and have a Special Plate and Consolation plate, yew.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Has the Russian surfer done an interference yet?

ricmatic
ricmatic
2 years ago

Im opening a passport photo booth in PR. $$$$!!

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
2 years ago

I’ve always thought they should do a repechage, or Plate type thing with the WSL comps. Not necessarily as part of the broadcast, but run in parallel off at some spot B. With trainee (or retiree) judges. Not sure why I’ve always thought that, now I’ve come to think of it. I think it was seeing QSers, close to my heart, traveling all the way to South Africa for 30 mins at peak afternoon onshore.

Shane Durian
Shane Durian
2 years ago

I was all ready to correct Chas’ spelling of repecharge and then found it was I who needed correction

I guess we all learned something today. Or maybe just me actually

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  Shane Durian

ha, same

@surfads
@surfads
2 years ago

I know everyone’s confused about the Olympic qualification system. This should clear it up.
Surfers can qualify through their 2023 WCT results but also their 2024 results but also their performance at the 2022 ISA world games but also their performance at the 2023 ISA world games but also their performance at the 2024 ISA world games plus also their country gets a third spot at the Olympics by winning all of the ISA world games but also not and also by not winning any of the above can a surfer still not not qualify Puerto Repercharge purple monkey dishwasher.

Mapski
Mapski
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Except for Joan Duru. You get nothing.

pipspuss
pipspuss
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

But it is an El Nino leap year, less you forget.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

unraveling ur internal AI. brilliant.

Instalo Feedeira
Instalo Feedeira
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Thanks, so that means I also have a shot?

Shredy Kruger
Shredy Kruger
2 years ago

But wait there’s more! Ferdinand is currently circulating a petition to get Longboarding in the L.A. Games! Why not? If Flag Football can, “anything is Possible” L.B…..

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  Shredy Kruger

It would be so good if joel tudor won gold and kelly didn’t.

Shredy Kruger
Shredy Kruger
2 years ago

Joel smoking a Fattie whilst hanging 10 flipping off the Judges. Wins Gold, gets banned from medal ceremony, fails drug test! Or Kelly retires takes up Longboarding and Wins Olympic Gold, finally. Vows to compete on longboard tour with New found enthusiasm!! S.O.S. Kelly….

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Shredy Kruger

mixed doubles bar crawl bed races beginning at the foot of the Eiffel Tower and ending somewhere over the rainbow…or down by the river.

munnstrosity
munnstrosity
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Dick Cheney’s eying another podium in the Freestyle ‘waterboarding.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  munnstrosity

model structuring for a thousand jokes…good one.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  munnstrosity

r u a delegate?

munnstrosity
munnstrosity
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

More of a degenerate. That’s why I come here.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  munnstrosity

bush’s guys are the good guys?

munnstrosity
munnstrosity
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

W could be laid back and funny when he wasn’t on the hot seat.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago

The olympic games we deserve:

https://youtu.be/_8QLeqm8W6…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

ironman, or in FLA’s case…independent voters? ONE MORE BUMP!

c4
c4
2 years ago

Thanks. Was just wondering why there’s no Olympic Cup next to her name on the WSL rankings.

Barnycle
Barnycle
2 years ago

@Chas

Please consider writing an article on this

https://slate.com/human-int…

c4
c4
2 years ago

I clicked on the link out of morbid curiosity and fat ass Mitch said Caity Sim is on the US Olympic team because the women won silver at the 2022 Huntington Beach venue.

He’s wrong about half the time.
Any truth to this?

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago

Caity just toying with a couple poor ISA competitors right now

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago

Why Puerto Rico of all places?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

’68 world titles retrospective.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

everybody still rides the same short boards…? ‘cept w/ three fins. so nostalgic!

https://rinconsurffest.com/…

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Needs more Wayne surfing on the other peak while the final is on.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

come again? wayne was a finalist riding lefts at Rincon in 68?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Nope, bombed out early in the comp. But blew minds while fred went on to win the final.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

romantic controversy w/ a pic or two…a rag mag…evolution movie? great sound tract?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

evolution~

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Nat Young?

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago

not sure which is more complicated, the ISA’s contest format or Olympic qualification itself.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

Must be a fair few last minute scrambles to make heat times. Would be a hectic schedule.

Yomar
Yomar
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

c’mon man, for peeps that like watching contest surfing the ISA format is an old, established, proven format with a repecharge round at all levels. At the pointy end the surfing is WSL class.

And olympic qualification is not that hard either:
The Olympic QS builds on the previous system used for Tokyo 2020, ensuring the participation of the world’s best professional surfers as well as promoting geographical universal opportunities for surfers from around the world at the Games.

While the quota of 2 surfers per gender per country, remains in place, two exceptions to this rule have been introduced for the ISA World Surfing Games 2022 and 2024 Team Champions. This exception might result in some top teams see their quota expand to three (3) athletes (See below for details of that change).

To view the complete Olympic Qualification System for Surfing in Paris 2024, click here..

The key elements of the qualification system are as follows:

24 men, 24 women.
Maximum of 2 surfers per gender per National Olympic Committee (NOC). There will be two exceptions to this limit made for the winning teams, per gender, at the 2022 and 2024 ISA World Surfing Games (WSG) where each team will qualify one spot for their country/NOC.
Qualification spots will be earned on an individual basis, by name, other than for 2022 and 2024 WSG Team World Champion slots.
In accordance with IOC guidelines, the qualification events have been determined in hierarchical order of qualification, as further explained below; If two surfers of a gender have qualified through the first hierarchical order, that NOC will not be able to qualify more surfers of that gender through qualifying events lower in hierarchical order.
All surfers selected by their respective National Federations for their national teams must have participated in 2023 and 2024 ISA World Surfing Games in order to be eligible for Olympic qualification. The final details of the eligibility requirements are still under review by the ISA and the IOC.
The hierarchical order of qualification will be as follows:

2023 World Surf League (WSL) Championship Tour: First 10 eligible men and first 8 eligible women.
2023 ISA World Surfing Games: 4 men and 4 women selected based on their continent. Top finishing eligible surfer of each gender from Africa, Asia, Europe and Oceania.
2023 Pan American Games: First eligible man and first eligible woman in the surfing competitions.
2024 ISA World Surfing Games: First 5 eligible men and first 7 eligible women.
2024 ISA World Surfing Games: The winning teams by gender, will qualify 1 place for their respective country/NOC, regardless of the 2-per country quota limit.
2022 ISA World Surfing Games: The winning teams by gender, will qualify 1 place for their respective country/NOC, regardless of the 2-per country quota limit.
Host nation slot: One man and one woman slot will be guaranteed for the host nation of France, unless already filled through the above hierarchies. Should athletes from France qualify regularly, their slots will be reallocated to the highest ranked eligible surfers from the 2024 World Surfing Games.
Universality Place: For the first time, one place per gender will be made available to eligible NOCs. Special consideration will be given to the nature of the wave in Teahupoo in terms of the eligibility criteria for these places. Should there deemed to be no qualified surfers in this category, these slots will be reallocated to the highest ranked eligible surfers from the 2024 World Surfing Games The complete process and selection criteria for these places will be communicated by the IOC at a later date.
The ISA will be working with the IOC and Olympic Solidarity to organize specific training camps in Tahiti in the lead up to the Games to provide qualified and potentially qualified surfers the opportunity to maximize their experience on the wave in Teahupoo.

lol, ja no fine, maybe it is a bit much but that makes it interesting too!


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