Olympic dreams stretch out their necks.
Warning bells are sounding, this morning, on the island protectorate of Puerto Rico. They are not signaling an incoming hurricane nor yet another referendum on joining the United States but rather alerting the three million souls who call the isle of enchantment home that the blood of professional-adjacent surfers will be gushing through rain gutters.
For today, the World Surfing Games, which got underway only 48 hours ago, is serving an entire repechage offering. Surfers who lose not afforded a repechage repechage round. They will have to pack their bags, and Olympic dreams, and offer their necks to International Surfing Association strongman Fernando Agguere for a swift and certain end.
Or, not swift, I suppose. The World Surfing Games has more heats than an animal shelter full of unspayed cats but there is no denying that today a loss really means a loss.
I think.
Big names will be fighting for continued existence including Olympic silver medalist Kanoa Igarashi, Japan’s other face Connor O’Leary and former Championship Tour Peruvian Miguel Tudela.
Spared until later is South Africa’s Jordy Smith who has gotten off to ripping start on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour, currently ranked fourth, and now eating children who once venerated him.
Germany’s Leon Glatzer survived Smith’s wrath in the second round, declaring, “It was a pretty stacked heat for a second round only. Just competing with Jordy, he’s been one of my idols since I was a little kid. I watched him basically before every free surf. It was a really good heat.”
The aforementioned Igarashi becoming victim.
If you are a sadistic person, the sort that relishes in the misery of others, you will find today extremely enjoyable.
Watch, and further sicken your soul, now.