Had you placed a mere tenner on Cole Housmand, Jacob Wilcox, Joan Duru, Seth Moniz and Ramzi Boukhiam, you would have profited nearly 24k.
A bold man might have made a lot of money on the opening round of the Rip Curl Portugal Pro.
Some examples:
Had you placed a mere tenner on Cole Housmand, Jacob Wilcox, Joan Duru, Seth Moniz and Ramzi Boukhiam, you would have profited nearly 24k.
Add in Sammy Pupo, Caio Ibelli and Federico Morais and you would have won just short of two million.
There are almost endless combinations of these that would have made you rich by most people’s standards.
Doesn’t seem so hard, does it?
I am, eternally, that bold yet foolish man. At daybreak I placed a bet. A Euro (and Euro-adjacent) triumvirate of Joan Duru, Ramzi Boukhaim and Federico Morais. Odds of 165/1 for all three to win. Forty-five pounds sterling on, to return just short of seven and a half grand. Not to be sniffed at for the average man.
Unfortunately, reader, I shat it.
I could not believe in Federico Morais, not against Yago Dora, not at his home-ish break where he’s so often underwhelmed.
And so I cashed out. A profit, yes. But a drop in a vast ocean of losses. For once, a cautious move among a lifetime of bold losses.
That’s what I get, I suppose. You can’t change your strategy or your spots.
I doubt anyone was prophetic or lucky enough to make these choices at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal. Why on earth would you pick Jacob Wilcox and Sammy Pupo over Florence and Medina, for example?
But that’s how it played out, and Portugal’s detractors and sceptics will suggest it’s the fault of the location, not the surfers. But that wouldn’t exactly be true.
In truth, the waves were unspectacular but sufficient at Supertubos today. Shoulder to head high, rights and lefts. No barrels to justify the name, but definitely a few sections to whack.
John Florence wasn’t able to find one. Medina did, but couldn’t make anything stick.
Scoring was heavily biased towards the biggest waves.
Where in the stretched out line-up these waves might appear was largely a mystery. Judges were looking for turns to be linked rather than single big manoeuvres or airs. Though if the airs were big enough, the scores would have been forthcoming, as evidenced by Jack Robinson’s 8.83, the single highest score of the day for an alley-oop with pleasing amplitude and quite lovely velocity.
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Robinson was filmed on the beach pre-heat, eyes closed, engaged in breath work. Activating, as Joe Turpel might say. It seemed to work, and he brought a rare verve to his heat.
It was the second and second-best example of visualisation of the day. The first belonged to Griffin Colapinto, seen cross-legged and wearing the sort of black eye-mask favoured by 50-something divorcees on aeroplanes.
Bless him, he was in a wee world of his own.
Not that it did him any good. All he managed to manifest was a drop in on Callum Robson, which led to an interference penalty and cost him the heat. No arguments. A clear misjudgement of priority.
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The second highest score of the day belonged to Sammy Pupo. He began his heat with a similar alley-oop to Robinson, but only garnered 6.67 from the panel, who were apparently keeping their powder dry for Medina.
It took two vertical backhand turns on a left for Pupo to score his 8.33. Rewatching it now, it was certainly a good wave in the context of the day, but it’s hard to justify why it was a point or more better than many others.
Medina, by contrast, fired blanks throughout, leaving the judges wanting.
The answer to the lacklustre performances of Medina and some other favourites is perhaps fatigue. If not physical, then surely mental.
Many of them had flown in from Puerto Rico, where they had been competing in the ISA World Surfing Games, just the night before. Ramzi Boukaim said he had surfed 13-14 heats in Puerto Rico. Testament once again to the incomprehensibly poor format cooked up by the ISA.
Tom Curren joined the booth. There was a lot of umming and aahing. He tried, bless him. But he’s one of the surf world’s luminaries who we should admire always on waves but never mics.
To be fair, I’m sure he feels the same. But if he still wants those Rip Curl cheques, he’s obliged to be somewhat visible. And it’s a charmed life for sure, still being paid to surf in your sixties.
And what of Kelly Slater?
Absent once again, owing to an alleged hip injury. In one way it feels wrong to doubt the man, but you can’t help but suspect a long trip to Europe for a poor forecast to surf a beachbreak makes the old hip niggle a bit.
What is his plan, I wonder? I still don’t see a happy exit for him. I’m not even sure there’s a doggy door.
Some big names fill the elimination heats at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal when we return: Griffin Colapinto, Gabriel Medina, Kanoa Igarashi and Ryan Callinan.
Competition at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal will likely resume in a few days once the westerly gales have blown through. And it could be a mad dash to the end once again. Let’s hope we get some classic Supertubos to silence the Euro sceptics.
Regardless, it’s always worth a punt.



Check out surfline’s forecast update they just posted on YouTube. It’s high comedy. It is also a bare-faced lie.
Feel your torment mate. On the plus side you got a payout of some sort. I put myself through unnecessary pain by picking out Houshmand, but was too late to get on, Duru, Boukiam and Morais.
After missing Houshmand though I just went screw it and settled in to just watch. I thought those 3 would be knackered after coming back from the ISA. But no, they were elavated to a higher level. Knew were to sit in the crap surf on offer. And boom boom boom a healthy treble would have been landed. 3/1, 5/1 and 4/1. Well over 100/1. I was frothing but not in a good way.
Just as a postscript have got on Cole to get hot and take out the event at 80/1 which he may just do if his self confidence is anything to go by.
I was once called an “old hip niggle” in Long Beach. Still riding that high
I’m bailing on Griff and Medina for my fantasy team. Can’t risk them losing while I am asleep. Feeling an underdog win here.
Kelly doing the John Farnham endless last tour
I’m so hopelessly on the punt now. I am enjoying a couple of dollars on the first round 12 leg multi. It’s usually a return of around $50k. To me it’s much better odds than a scratchie. I usually shit the bed within the first couple of heats, but a wave like shitty Peniche will always be a crapshoot
what platform and does it have a cashout?
Sportsbet, yep
really i ve been fucked by sports bet in cashout heaps times – when i was 6 legs up?? i flagged it because that – was looking for another
Moniz won a heat? Pawn shop will have to wait a few more days…
The Euro sceptics are definitely on to something. While Supertubos certainly has its day on occasion and Euro surfers rip, European surfing is a great example of surfing gone wrong. Clean swells are too infrequent with hordes of frothers on both hard and soft tops turning most of the zone into a circus.
I was gonna watch the event, but as usual when events are held in Europe it’s bad timing. fucking euro’s always have to be so special, right?
We’re so much better than the rest of the world. We have our own time zone.
fuck them and their time zones.
I fucking hate that.
pretentious pricks.
tried to watch some of the replays on FUSL, but I couldn’t sit through the 2 minutes of advertisements every time I clicked on a heat…or anything.
fucking 805 commercials are as pretentious as Europeans.
I fucking hate those pretentious monochrome ads.
I bet “The 805” have their own time zone as well.
pretentious cunts
don’t get me started on the fucking WSL greenwash ads. how many shrubs did they plant in Europe? fucking pretentious VS corpo asswipes.
Fuck, I hate nature.
Whats the WSL’s time zone?
surfing is filled with pretentious Clocksmiths, building their own self aggrandizing time zones.
I’d say I hate surfing, but that pretentious seafaring surf-journalist “citizen of the world” cunt with his slip on loafers, over the shoulder sweaters, cravats, undone ties, asymmetrical coif and Obama books in the library has already patented that line.
bet he has his own time zone too….probably called fucking “HAPPY HOUR“
great recap, JP…for something I didn’t even get to see, and you made it sound decent.
in fact, you wrote such a great recap that now I hate that I missed it.
Fuck I hate missing decent stuff.
Are you European?
Everywhere should have the same time zone.You know it makes sense
thing about where I live, the entire world has experienced an entire day and everything important has happened before I even get out of bed.
everyone is living in the future compared to our little island nation
You had a shit surf today huh. everything’s fucked after a shit surf…
A shit surf is better than at home with the missus.
You got me there
nah, kind of stormy out. didn’t surf
worse; pet died.
so I was watching some comedy sketches before reading JP’s ditty and came across old mate Rodney Rude.
reread the comment in Rodney’s voice. you’ll understand.
Sorry about your pet. Many pets are better than people. I missed the comp because of time zone issues, and my brother died. Not one-upping you, though he was at least as good as most pets.
Thanks. So sorry to hear about your brother.
Really sucks to lose those that you love.
Hope he had a wonderful life and lived every day to it’s fullest, and that you find comfort in that he has passed to a much better place.
At first look I thought this was a DSSS comment.
someone is typing…
1963, Pacific Time Zone, a rare albino Saharan camel lived on the beach in Malibu in the old Simm’s place. The Los Angeles County water commissioner referred the camel and it’s owner (Gus) to the Malibu Board of Water committee for failure to acquire a permit for excessive water storage. the waves at third point all the way through to the pier, faster than the camel could run. LA Times Sept. 03 1963: Simm’s installed a new water pump on his well relieving the camel of stage in it’s humps. two pumps are better than one.
DSSS is Andy Kaufman
‘meh euros and them pretentious timezones’ yeah blame it on geography fool… oh good times of pangea when worlds land was a immense straya, only one timezone…
a 2X sinner doesn’t make a fuckin toon…or gamble on surfing. horse racing is a mo betta option.
I just lost my shirt, mom. call Dad for a borrow…and Negs. for a bare nekked badge?
Preaching to the choir I know, but when someone truly interested in surfing (me) turns it off after 2 minutes it says it all. Just shorten the events and wait for 2-3 days of proper swell to run it. Oh and waves that tube at a tube contest at least you morons.
Run it on two separate sand banks if need be, idiots.
“There is no way this can have a happy ending” Gladys Knight
survey the PIMPS?
Betting on Fred meant I broke even, after throwing money at more fancied competitors.
Jack Robinson, surfing with a rare verve?! The man squirts verve 24/7.
was walking down to go for a surf minutes after he came out of the water.
Verve everywhere!
I actually stepped in a pile of it, couldn’t get it off my feet and slipped off my board on my first three waves.
Verve trails up and down the beach.
like taking a walk in Bondi Beach at daybreak.
what exactly is this thing you refer to as ‘surfing’?
Did you all see back at the end of February, that they discovered in the Amazon the world’s largest snake, a 26-foot green anaconda? Fucking amazing. What’s more amazing, is that this is still 25 feet and 10 inches longer than Kanoa’s slithery member, and 25 feet and 2 inches longer than the largest snake that DR has stroked and whose beady eye he has stared down. Anyway, back to onshore/sideshore Supertubos…
Do u have a snake fettish..
Any tubes ridden, or is everyone skipping straight to dessert?
Seeing Griff meditating in that thing was the reason I switched it off. I don’t know why it shits me so much but it does! Someone needs to teabag him
Na he was just trying to psyc out the competition or maybe he thought he was still on the plane…
.
He was trying to block out that fucken hooter.
HAAAAAAWNNNNNK
(inspired by dog’s nuts)
damn as soon as I heard tom C was there, I put money on him……I’m a loser baby why don’t ya kill me!!!
his comments still work? how ’bout that board you shaped him for Jeff’s?