“I was honest about my stroke, recovery, my failed marriages, and the painful estrangement from my teenage daughters.”

The former head of the World Surf League Erik Logan, a man who wears baby blue ties and palm brushes his Cocaine Cowboy cut off a tanned forehead, has continued his run of Substack confessionals with his most “vulnerable” post yet.

Erik Logan, whose almost five-year tenure as pro surfing’s north star was cut short on a moody June day in 2023 with no reason given, asks, “The Price of a Dream: are the sacrifices worth it?”

After opening with a reference to Oprah Erik Logan writes:

There was never a conscious thought of what I was not doing or missing; it was always about being there and taking advantage of whatever opportunity came my way. Making sacrifices and doing whatever it took to get the next job became ingrained into me in my teenage years.

This ingrained drive continued for three decades. Blinders are on, head down, onto the next bigger job, one with more visibility, more notoriety, and always more. The more choices there were, the more sacrifices there were. I got married twice, twice divorced, and had two beautiful daughters. While I was working to provide a life for them well beyond anything I had ever had, I tried to justify my pathology of this “all in” at any cost by doing things for my family. I told myself, “I’m sacrificing this for my family.” Which is true, but also not the most honest. Accuracy and truth are not the same thing – things can be accurate and not truthful.

Recently, I encountered a stranger after a speech I gave to a group of entrepreneurs. It was a formal, black-tie event, and I was the keynote speaker. Never being one to miss a great conversation, I always stay after, meeting people who want to say hi and talk a bit more. It’s also a great chance to pick up a few more clients! In my keynote that night, I was more vulnerable about my personal life than ever. I was honest about my stroke, recovery, my failed marriages, and the ongoing painful estrangement from my teenage daughters. A woman approached after waiting in line to ask a question. The wisdom of age and the aura of her presence clued me in quickly; she was different. After a few seconds of small talk, she asked:

“Was it all worth it?” Nothing more, Nothing less.

And, here, the truth of ambition is revealed.

Tears began to well up, and I froze, mumbled something, and then embarrassingly said, “I don’t know, probably not.”  I keep coming back to that moment wondering if my mother or father was speaking to me through her; of course, who knows, but regardless, I needed to hear that exact question at that exact time in my life. She quickly smiled and said, “I could tell.”  Just as fast as she appeared, she was gone.  

That exchange shook and recalibrated me and changed my view on this issue—the idea of chasing dreams without heavily weighing the context of sacrifices. I have always been comforted by putting in the work or knowing what it will take to achieve my goals. I always focused on the objective ahead and knew what work would be required. Still, part of my philosophy was to consider the sacrifices as secondary—only to be figured out later.   

So, was it worth it? Honestly, at the time, I didn’t know; it was a very confusing situation.   

The turmoil in my personal life for the past three years and currently is ample evidence to answer “No,”  yet that doesn’t feel right either. My career and choices have brought joy, comfort, valuable mentors, and wisdom, as well as a bountiful life to my family, so what’s the answer?  Still confused, as I reflect – I just don’t know. 

And, now that he’s surfer, Erik Logan won’t be chasing the cash anywhere there ain’t waves.

Life loves to test you. A headhunter recently reached out with an opportunity to interview for a CEO job.  A big company, a name we all have heard, would pay well, great benefits, but it would require a move.  It’s a place with no surfing, bodies of water that would freeze in winter, and far away from my bubble in Manhattan Beach.  Most of all, it would take me away from the tribe and community that I have fostered, filled with people who love and support me.  My tribe knows me thoroughly and knows all my challenges and shortcomings; leaving this place and people would not be worth the sacrifice – not anywhere close.  It is radical for me to admit this and put it in writing. Ten, fifteen, twenty years ago, I would pack my bags, run toward this job, say YES, and throw caution to the wind – leaving a wake of emotional and untold mess behind.

Earlier confessionals included a lengthy screed detailing his cataclysmic descent from 42-year-old beginner surfer, loving everything surf, to architect of the entire sport with all its ensuring baggage. Stroke, heart surgery, divorce, losing his WSL job and surprise pivot from surfing and into tennis!

“We’ve all been told, ‘Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.’ Or maybe, ‘Follow your passion; the money will follow you.’  There are countless variations on this theme,” wrote Erik Logan.

As it was then, as it is now, unmissable.

Read the full 20,000 word confessional here.