Ultra paradigm shifting.
Now, I was chatting with David Lee Scales this morning, as I almost always do on Fridays, when he blew my mind right out of my ear holes. The conversation had turned, as it does, to Kelly Slater mocking mid-lengthed surfboards by putting Shane Dorian on one and making him look dumb.
It is proper funny mean and that’s when David Lee rocked my world. “You know the problem with the clip?” he asked. Well, that Shane Dorian is surfing it badly on purpose on a terrible wave,” I answered assuming I got it right.
“Wrong,” David Lee said. “It’s because Shane Dorian is fit and well-muscled and fit, well-muscled men don’t belong on mid-lengths. What you ride is determined by your body type.”
An epiphany!
“What should I ride?” I questioned though knew the answer directly. A short stubby fish. Tall skinny men = short stubby fish. “What about a short fat man?” I continued. “A longboard,” we declared at the same time.
The fit and well-muscled ride thrusters or guns, dad bods get mids (see above photo) and that’s where we stopped for the day, but you can take it from here. I defy you the theory doesn’t stand up to your most lucid scrutiny.
While I’ve shared the best part, you must dive in for a discussion on why Matt Biolos should keep his damned mouth shut when it comes to surf media.
Essential.
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The most productive, inspiring, body shaming I’ve ever endured since turning 45, 5 years ago. Gotta get push the dust off those shortboards in the basement soon and give the midlength a rest. Because of you Chas, and DLS, I now have hope that one day, I get back to the feel of a quad-fin under my feet actually moving and not bogging… thanks Grit!
Boring. Surfing is Boredom…..
Laird Hamilton hasn’t ridden a board the size of Toledo’s since Laird was 4 years old.
Compared with other athletes other than sponsored rock climbers, WCT surfers tend to be small and light — not just low body fat, but small. High SVJ in a small build with extra leg muscle, is ideal.
How big was Gary Elkerton when he went by “Kong” since he was so huge? Like, 5’10” and 165?
So yeah, the rule has some merit, but there are some very fit, strong people who can’t ride a foam chip in everyday surf, too.
The core surfing podcast spends the first 15 minutes critiquing Taylor Swift’s new album.
Married life has castrated the both of you.
I have a minimal to sell. What body shape or weight should I be targeting in my advertising? Please: the fucking thing has been taking up space in my dad’s shed since the late 90s and he’s getting beyond the age of a viable hip replacement and I cannot bear to go there on his demise and find that some fuckhead nephew has purloined it.
Consider yourselves lucky.
I’m 58 and I haven’t been out in over a year.
Can’t get contacts in and was told Im not a candidate for eye surgery.
Didn’t know Russell Crowe surfed.
did you not learn anything from Erik Logan?
the best surfer in the water is the one with the biggest smile on his face.
surf on what makes you smile.
about 20 years ago, when I was surfing every day, a friend of mine gave me a 7′ “fun shape” (what mid lengths were called before they were called mid lengths. it’s like the “slam dancing” vs moshing thing). first outing, fun 4-6 ft. day at Lani’s.
had a frickin blast on the thing. snap backs a plenty. surfed on it in everything from 2 ft. to 12 (HWN).
fun shapes are all about the rail and the tail.
You’re ego is 12 (HWN)
And where’s chapter 3
Cockhead
True. I actually have to pay extra to bring my ego on a plane.
My point was simply that mid-lengths are fun in a variety of surf. didn’t mean to offend you by saying I used to surf 12 ft waves.
I really have no idea what you mean by Chapter 3
And so what body type is perfect for a Costco foamer? That concept gives way to body parts, rather than type. Costcoboard is an empty brain case. And an SUP? A cunt. Longboard? ditto.
we need to change partner’s…Steve Stills and Sunser Drive patrolpeople so we can crash at at Mitzi’s Comedy Club….stand inna line…forve getta bout it! we’re blonde~and funny~
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
rasta gotta share? no? war is ghetto…whores? contact the Teachers/
Fuck that’s white.
Pretty interesting concept.
Some people are agile like Filepe and suit riding a shortboard in small waves.
Some people are really smooth like Asher Pacey and Rob Michado and suit loose boards.
Some are power surfers who are not good at detail and at the amateur level can often look a lot better on a bigger board than a shortboard and surf big and heavy waves really well. Harley Ingleby comes to mind.
Some are super technical and will always learn with a great style and surf great on shortboards.
What are your strengths as a rider agility/power/endurance/technical and are you riding equipment that allows you to showcase this?
I need you to watch me surf so you can just tell me
You can use other sports you have played to tell, sometimes work, or art. you will be this way with everything you do in life. You ever play football? Other sports? Artistic in any way, an instrument?
Yes yes yes and yes
Also, what are your favourite moves to perform on a wave and why?
Straight handers, over the falls.
So I can split the peak 3ways and have the inside on both the left and the right
I’m pretty down on running into or over cunts.
Sounds like a power surfer. Like bashing end sections angrily too? Prefer on big bash than 4 little ‘cute’ technical tight turns? If yes, big board, round tail.