"I remember when it all started, it was, hey guys pack your bags it’s all over for us..."
The punchline of Kelly Slater’s twenty-seventh prank retirement announcement was, let’s be honest, never going to be you or me. We have watched the surf great for generations now, knowing that one of his favorite social manipulations is to lightly suggest that he’s finally hanging it up only to become showered in praise and adulation. It is funny but maybe not so funny for the elderly who are easily confused and think that the 11x champion has really and truly called it.
Enter Martin Potter.
Hours after Slater received his wildcards for the upcoming Tahiti and Fiji contests, the only two he would have surfed even if making the cut, ’89 took to Instagram in order to share a heartfelt tribute:
It’s taken a while for me to comment on @kellyslater letting go, shit if the waves were pumping noone can beat him still to this day. I remember when it all started, it was, hey guys pack your bags it’s all over for us, but it wasn’t bad it was just him taking our sport to the next level, all our greats did that!@markrichardssurfboards @shauntomson @thomasvictorcarroll and the list goes on. Kelly you have made us proud to be surfers not just by the way you rode waves but the way you were a great human, you shared the love with us and the many generations of groms you inspired. We love you mate and wish you and your beautiful family all the best. What’s next. ??? Golf Golf Golf.
Golf, golf, golf and/or ’25 Pro Pipeline, Snapper, Bells and Margs (forecast dependent), Teahupo’o and Fiji (if it remains). Rinse and repeat for ’26. Etc.
Back to Pottz, how cute is he?
Definitely cute enough to not be fun made.
Shame on Kelly Slater.
Potts looks like he could eat a cob of corn through a screen door with that grill
His tooth gap and smile has me feeling really vulnerable, uncomfortable. Last time I felt like this I was 14. My substitute music teachers large hands on my shoulders, whispering in my ear how if I got couple private clarinet lessons he would give me an A. It was my Elo moment. He also had the same gap in his teeth.
No real surprise there. Woodwind has always been the preserve of perverts. Need proof: Kenny G.
Still, I bet Pottz could deliver one helluva trade show slap
Pro life potzz, legend!!
Pottz’ disconnection from WSL has already helped his legacy. The pottz who helped pioneer airs and charged big waves and won a world title and was on the Indies Trader with Carroll and crew in the early days — that’s the real animal.
Demigod
Hey where’s the live thread for snapper, promise I’ll be less cunty than last time Mr Pauly
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Felicity is cosplaying Posh Spice today.
It’s posts like these that remind me why I deleted my Insta.
kelly retired from Golf recently, poor old pottz is really going to think he forgot to take his medicine
Kelly’s repeated bullshit retirement announcements can be likened to the Aesop fable “The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf”. Initially it’s taken seriously. With each successive lie it becomes tedious. One day it will be true and few will care.
Kelly fatigue!
Go away dude! It’s time to take care of your girl. Put down the crack pipe and be a good father.
“not be fun made”? Ask not who the fun be made, it be made you.
And Goaty McGoatface is still seeded into Snapper. Will he show or does his foot/back/hips/neck/etc mysteriously flare up?
*Kunty McKuntface
Tftfy
Look, wooz have even made him a special rashie!
That’ll fly off the shelves. No doubt about it.
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Do they have toddler’s sizes?
Somebody’s on to it at wooz.
Yes they do but not a rashie. In a nice pale shade of turd brown.
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