And announces his retirement too!
Kelly Slater has a well-known penchant for redirecting the spotlight whenever it strays, slightly, from his still very handsome visage. Who could ever forget the rollout of Surf Ranch? There stood Adriano de Souza, dripping wet from his just clinched World Surf League and Pipeline championships. The proud nation of Brazil’s first ever title. A smile spreading across his face for exactly 30 seconds…
…until he saw everyone around him staring at their phones. Whispering, “What is this? Have you seen this?”
It was Surf Ranch and no one ever cared about Adriano de Souza again.
Today, Joel Parkinson announced his retirement from professional surfing. Though I was surprised, thinking Parko had retired a few years ago, Kelly Slater knew because the man has a photographic memory when it comes to surf and surf history.
Kelly, anyhow, feeling the spotlight stray, grabbed it right back by announcing his own retirement too.
Joel who?
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Kelly is destroying his legacy by acting like a insecure cunt, why cant he retire pick up an alcohol problem and live off past glories/start surf school like a normal person?
But they did not stick around. Sort of telling
it takes a girl to tell’em how it is…
“The proud nation of Brazil’s first ever title…”
*Gabbie runs off and cries*
EVEN LESS DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPSLOCK
Heh, as if there will be a tour in 2019.
46
adriano’s was brazilian second-title-ever… medina’s was first.
Saved me having to type it.
Maybe Chas did it on purpose? Everyone loves to kick Medina
Brasil’s first ever Pipe title maybe?
No thunder stolen because Kelly’s said this all before.
The Texas wave park scorched his Ass good, he must be livid deep down. The wheels are coming off now a bit.
Scorched so good that they (Kelly and friends) had to go right back to the drawing board to re-develop an air section. Of course, bringing in no other than Albee Layer (who had just been out testing the Waco technology maybe a week prior) and Josh Kerr via private jet.
Sustainable private jet? Or regular?
A Certified, Gold Level, Verified “more sustainable” private jet. Nō Ka ‘Oi***
***every word listed here besides ‘private’ and ‘jet’ can be found on the sustainablesurf.org Gold Level Eco Board logo
I thought he was just thinking aloud answering a question.
He’s at JBay to help the WSL.
The interesting bit was his take on why he surfed down the point. ( Cynical view… ‘My foot is injured unless it’s a freesurf in pumping waves’ )
Btw. Shaun Thompson was great.
*tomson
We would’ve been talking about Adriano’s title for decades if hadn’t been for Slater….
the Founder is just getting square with Parko for trying to steal his thunder for “The Return”
Kelly has a micro-penis. There can’t be any other reason to pull shit like this can there?
Wonder if he reads the comments?
he’s so fucking short in real life – i hope he reads that.
he doesnt have the talent to be on tour any more. he couldn’t even make it in the QS
Kelly Slater gets to come back next year at the expensive of some other young persons career? I hope him and Zuckfucker get chomped on by a shark
Yeah, I really feel for Ciao – what a shit position to be in!
??
Well I’m assuming JJ & Robert are going to go for the 2 sick leave wildcards that leaves Ciao up shit creek without a SUP!
oh, i hadn’t noticed his absence.
Hopefully JJ moves on from the WSL, since he has nothing left to prove and Kelly comes back and makes a bigger fool of himself.
Lukewarm take:
Parko far handsomer than Slater
but also true! a very true take!
Lukewarmer take – I disagree with the both of you!
ha ha totally reasonable dude totally reasonable
But look…
He’s sustainable…
hasn’t he said this like ten times before? eesh.
Source: http://www.worldsurfleague….
He’s betting pretty hard that he’s going to get that injury wildcard, isn’t he? Because at this rate, there’s no f*cking way he is on tour next year without it.
There should be a rule that the injury wildcard must go to a pro in the top ten of the QS.
then they wouldn’t need the fckn wildcard to begin with
Oh. Youre going to get all mathematical on us?
True. I was imagining an ideal world where Kelly Slater would be forced to surf QS events in his last year on tour.