There's been so many iterations of the Kelly Slater retirement that he has made it an art form, dear friends.
Several months heretofore, the world’s second oldest active pro athlete Kelly Slater threatened to call it quits for the twenty-sixth consecutive year after being eliminated from the Hurley Pro at Sunset Beach.
The just-turned fifty-two-year-old Kelly Slater, who is four years younger than the still-competing pro soccer player Kazuyoshi Miura, was narrowly beaten by Australia’s golden girl Ethan Ewing, a baby-faced twenty-five-year-old Australian with the “plumpest and most spankable bottom in surfing”.
Following the loss, Kelly Slater said he was “questioning competing to be honest with you… My confidence isn’t super high.
Yesterday, after losing in the round of 32 to world number one Griffin Colapinto, Kelly Slater again quit.
The first time Kelly Slater retired was in 1998, the then six-time world champ having just-turned twenty-six. He competed sporadically over the next few years, winning Pipe in 1999 and the Eddie in 2002, before re-joining the tour to take on Andy Irons head-on, hinting at retirement every year thereafter.
Other retirement announcements can be found here, here, here and here.
Is this the end?
Chas Smith says non!
“You actually think hat Kelly Slater is retiring? You think somehow that this year, this time, was the time that he decided to hang it up? Do you forget the 26 other times that he said he was gonna hang it up? Do you somehow not remember when Joel Parkinson was retiring? Oh, what was Kelly Slater gonna do too? Retire. Do you not remember? When he actually did retire during the Andy Irons years, that was a long time ago. There’s been so many iterations of the Kelly Slater retirement that he has made it an art form, dear friends. And this latest gambit, this latest show, we’ll say, is a bit of acting, theatre.
“He will certainly continue to surf. That is a far-forgone conclusion. He will surf in Tahiti, he will surf in Fiji, he will surf and he will surf and he will surf again. But how does he beat this retirement? I don’t know. This was… the Oscar award-winning retirement.”
Thoughts? Opinions?
