Yang Siqi (pictured) not shrinking from moment. Photo: Instagram
Yang Siqi (pictured) not shrinking from moment. Photo: Instagram

Hero of China Squad and entire Olympics Siqi Yang stamps mark on intensely lully day two of Teahupo’o Games

"Who doesn’t want to see the People’s Republic smash Yankee dreams?"

An unsurfable day for most of it by WCT standards, I think it’s fair to say.

Windy, intensely lully, very few barrels to begin.

But then, a wave or two that looked like it had been sent from a different day entirely.

Barton Lynch and Shannon Hughes employed their highest pitch and caffeinated cadence, with a liberal sprinkling of WOWs, to elevate the mood of the lulls.

It began with the hero of not just China’s Olympic squad, but the entire Olympics, Siqi Yang.

The diminutive fifteen year old from landlocked China attacked Teahupo’o’s unbarelling but still critical four-foot walls with a backhand that belongs at the highest level of women’s surfing, and certainly leagues ahead of two-time world champion, Tyler Wright.

Queue up the wildcards, WSL.

Yang Siqi will meet Marks Caroline in round three. (Thanks to Cote Chris for clarification of the Olympic house-style commentary by using surnames first.) A tough draw, for sure, but who doesn’t want to see the People’s Republic smash Yankee dreams?

In a line-up of sixteen women for round two, yet only three WCT surfers, it seemed somewhat unjust that two of them met in the fourth heat, Picklum Molly and Defay Johanne.

Once again the Irukandjis were not so much deadly in the water as dead, as Picklum lost out to Defay.

Meat trays flooded with tears and spittle, green and gold sagged, pints of VB evaporated into domestic violence.

It was for no lack of commitment on Picklum’s part as she threw herself into several non-makes, including surfing one wave all the way to achilles deep water and having to scramble, starfish-like, as Lynch noted, off the coral reef.

But Defay’s 7.83 for a rare, clean backside barrel was the decisive blow and the best wave of the day in women’s competition by eye and number.

French territory draws French territory in the next round as Defay matches up with Fierro.

In the men’s competition it took a full twenty-five minutes and a restart before O’Leary Connor struck the first blow against Germany’s Elter Tim.

Elter Tim was committed and looks like he has the potential to be a good backhand barrel technician, but O’Leary notched a pair of mid-sevens in quick succession at windy Teahupo’o, and this was enough.

I must confess, reader, to losing faith in the potential of Teahupo’o to keep me conscious through the wee small hours at this point in proceedings.

Conditions were inconsistent and slow. In response, Hughes and Lynch seemed amplified to amphetamine levels of wittering.

Due diligence aside, I was not compelled to re-watch the meagre victories of Smith Jordy over Waida Rio; Vaast Kauli over McGillivray Matthew; Boukhaim Ramzi over Perez Bryan, nor even Cleland Quinonez Alan over Criere Andy.

However, on evidence of the scores, I did tune in for the final two heats of the day, and this was tactically astute.

Robinson Jack and Mesinas Luca began their heat by paddling each other around the line-up trying to establish position. In doing so, they burned ten minutes of clock and missed the first couple of set waves that rolled through, waves which all of a sudden looked like prime Teahupo’o and an entirely different day than the one that began.

Robinson’s opener was seemingly conjured from whichever salty deities he often seems to be in cahoots with. A near-perfect 9.87 for a deep, clean tube was by some margin the best wave we have seen since competition began.

He backed this up quickly with a seven, and then the waves disappeared. Both men sat in a still, blue ocean as the minutes ticked away. There was no opportunity, there was nothing to be done for Mesinas. He had come face-to-face with wizardry.

I wondered what viewers not versed in the vagaries of swells and lulls (or Robinson’s watery black magic) must’ve thought of surfing as competition?

In the next heat, Toledo Filipe vs Stairmand Billy, nothing happened for ten minutes and more.

Toledo’s first wave, a 7.33 for a tube that looked like it belonged in Surf Ranch rather than Teahupo’o, was perhaps the most competent wave he’s ever ridden here.

In response, Hughes Shannon produced the most honest monologue of surf punditry in living memory. Toledo had “really struggled when it comes to waves of consequence”, she noted.

He had made a semi final here in the past, Hughes went on to say, but it was “one of the smallest years they ever held the event here. Some of the smallest waves they would hold competition in. That’s his bread and butter.”

But she didn’t stop there.

“He really struggles to throw himself over the ledge”, she stated plainly. “Out of 23 heats he’s surfed at Teahupo’o, he’s finished with less than a ten point total in twelve of those heats, which is a pretty poor record.”

But again, Hughes wasn’t done.

“Back in 2015, he had a heat with Italo Ferreira, where he lost without catching a single wave. There were surfable waves throughout that entire heat, and Italo surfed all of them.”

(Lynch, ever the positive apologist, stated in solidarity that he’d registered a zero point heat total in a masters heat.)

Irrespective of what transpired, let’s have a standing ovation for Shannon Hughes, ladies and gentlemen.

For once, it was honest and transparent surf commentary, and that’s a rare bird. Hughes did what other pundits have shied and shirked from too often, and that’s to her eternal credit.

But the confidence Toledo had gained from his opener was parlayed into his last. With just five minutes left of a slow heat, he took off on a solid-ish Teahupo’o wave, threading a deep tube for a 9.67.

It was good, yes, but compare it to Robinson Jack’s wave, if you will.

Toledo’s screaming claims were surely heard in Paris, and it was certainly the best wave he’d ever ridden here.

Is it enough for redemption? He will feel so, and you have to grant him that. Wider opinions will vary.

Pre-competition yesterday, you could get 70/1 on Filipe Toledo to win a gold medal. Today, just 20/1.

Is that a good bet? In wild and wooly conditions we might yet see, not for my money. And I throw money at more or less everything.

It’s difficult to know what to expect for the remaining competition. There will be waves, but they will likely be blown out. But there are some stellar match-ups to anticipate if a window can be found.

Look to Vaast Kauli vs Colapinto Griffin in heat three; Chianca Joao vs Boukhiam Ramzi in heat six; and the pick of the bunch, fit for a final of any competition, Florence John vs Robinson Jack in heat seven.

Pray for barrels as Filipe Toledo has prayed for this day.

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Filipe Toledo and the greatest moment in surfing history.
Filipe Toledo immortalised at Teahupoo.

Filipe Toledo and the single greatest moment in surfing history!

"The Filipe Toledo story could crush Cool Runnings, Miracle on Ice, Eddie the Eagle and I, Tonya as the greatest Olympic film ever…"

Surfing’s ground has forever shifted. An extraordinary 9.67 reverberating all the way from the middle of the Pacific to the very rues of Paris and very likely beyond. A new king of Teahupo’o crowned. To hell with The People™ and their eternal whinging.

All hail Filipe Toledo.

Now, you may certainly be aware of my own… dubiousness when it came to the best small wave surfer in the world and his willingness to throw himself over the ledge at what the Wall Street Journal is calling “the most terrifying venue in the history of the Olympics.” Toledo’s historic 0.0 heat total at Teahupo’o in 2015 and his unwillingness to cross swords with two elderly gentlemen in 2022 setting a narrative that the lion might be afraid.

Yesterday, though, the two-time world champion slid into a four foot wave, threaded the tube, explained by Barton Lynch to be called such becasue “that’s the exact shape of it that you see from the inside,” and came out roaring.

His father, Ricardo, growling himself, very much essential in the usurpation of the throne.

House Toledo at the start of what is likely to be a long reign over the Place of Skulls.

Before Olympic Shortboard Surfing had gotten underway, the elder Toledo had sensed evil talk about his son, particularly from this very “unhappy” and “nonsense” surf journalist here, needed to be brutally and mercilessly brought under heel. Utilizing the powerful and unified voice of the Brazilian surf fan, victory was quickly established, as the aforementioned passionate bloc heeded the call with a trademarked barrage of death threats plus poop emojis.

The way thus paved for the biggest single moment in surfing history.

 

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Now, a few months back, I predicted that his seismic turn might just be a possibility and that the Filipe Toledo story could crush Cool Runnings, Miracle on Ice, Eddie the Eagle and I, Tonya as the greatest Olympic film ever. The question, I suppose, for you the surf fan.

Who will play the hero?

Who will play his father?

Who will play the manager, muscles bursting from carrying much water?

And who will play the villainous surf journalist?

More, certainly, as the story develops.

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New king of Teahupoo Filipe Toledo (7/29 - 7/30).
New king of Teahupoo Filipe Toledo (7/29 - 7/30).

Filipe Toledo emerges as hot favourite for Olympic surf gold after masterly almost-perfect Teahupoo ride

All hail the new king of Teahupoo!

The Brazilian small-wave wizard Filipe Toledo, who completed both his world titles in soft three-foot waves, has emerged as the shock favourite to win Olympic surf gold after a masterly performance at Teahupoo this afternoon. 

In beautiful four-ish foot waves, a little bigger on the sets, Filipe Toledo caught a long drainer, a little bit of south swell with some west thrown in, and exhibited all those skills surf fans knew he had but were kept under wraps either by fear or a desire to create an air of mystery coming into the Olympic Games.

Filipe Toledo at Teahupoo
Filipe Toledo owning beautiful four-to-five-foot Teahupoo.

His score? A 9.67, the second-highest of the event.  

Chas Smith picked it seven months ago when he asked, “Is Filipe Toledo pretending to be scared of Teahupoo?”

“What if Filipe Toledo is playing a game of rope-a-dope with the world; what if Filipe’s masterplan was to make the world think he was too scared to paddle into a set at Teahupoo and then, with Olympic gold on the line, create one of the most unlikely wins in Games history?”

Filipe Toledo, who is now only three heats away from the medal rounds, was delighted with the result and posted 25 different angles of the wave on his Instagram account.

Deservedly so.

One of the great Olympic moments etc.

(Watch here!)

 

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Kai Mckenzie, in hospital after losing leg to Great White.
Kai Mckenzie, minus his right stilt, and pals, including Noa Deane (in high-vis), in hozzy.

Surfer Kai Mckenzie who lost leg in Great White attack reveals legendary humour, “Spot something missing?”

Even after losing his right stilt to a Great White, there's no dampening this surfer's joy for life.

The word legend gets thrown around a little too liberally, particularly around here, and mostly from my fingers hitting the keys, but even the most complete thesaurus comes up blank when it comes to describing Australian surfer Kai Mckenzie. 

A little recap for those who’ve swung in late.

Kai Mckenzie is a twenty-three shredder from Bonny Hills on NSW’s North Coast who was hit by a ten-foot Great White while surfing a break wall in Port Macquarie, yeah, same joint the one-time title contender Mick Campbell was from. 

Kai belted the shark even after it took off his right leg, made it to shore alive, but barely, where an off-duty copy ripped off his dog’s lead to fashion a tourniquet thereby saving the kid’s life.

His leg was miraculously washed ashore shortly after the attack where it was packed on ice, chucked on the car ferry that takes you back across the Hastings River and rushed, complete with cop escort to Port Macquarie Base Hozzy in the hope it could be reattached. 

 

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It couldn’t, but Kai Mckenzie ain’t weeping in bed and lamenting his misfortune.

In a post today, and surrounded by friends including fellow Rage teamrider Noa Deane and former Skegss bassist-singer Toby Cregan, he wrote: 

Spot something missing ? Hahah, so good to have so many amazing people behind me I really appreciate it, love this crew so much thanks for coming yesterday and to all the donations fucking unreal love you guys the links in my bio if you’d like to donate.

Cregan wrote: Best hang I’ve had in a hospital that’s for sure. KMAC solid as a

For whatever reason, Great Whites have turned pretty little Port Macquarie into a place where you may wanna think twice before going for a shred.

Right now, there are fifteen Great Whites near or just offshore including, likely, the fish that took off Kai Mckenzie’s right leg.

Here’s the link for Kai’s GoFundMe. 

 

 

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Open Thread: Comment live on Day Two of Olympic Shortboard Surfing!

We're baaaaaack!

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