An absolute mess.
Surfers are many things, including but not limited to grouchy, possessive, generally incoherent but, above all, we are travelers. Few surfers are fortunate enough to live near world-class waves and so we pack board bags, drive to the airport and fly to surf-rich destinations. The worse the waves at home, the more surfers fly and so it should come as no surprise that Britain has an extremely large contingent of traveling surfers.
It might come as one, though, that they are the drunkest fliers in the world.
A damning new study has found that the top five airlines in the world disrupted by boozers are all Jolly England-based.
The worst is EasyJet followed by Ryanair, British Airways, TUI and Jet 2.
Ryanair’s CEO Michael O’Leary, speaking to the Independent’s travel podcast, declared, “We are seeing record numbers. We and most of the airlines around Europe are seeing a spike upwards, particularly this summer, of disgruntled passengers on board. I think the real challenge is: flight delays are up at a record high this summer, so people are spending time in airports drinking before they board the aircraft.”
Especially surfers.
Sitting at Heathrow’s airport bar, staring at photos of Canggu, drinking a double Hendricks and soda, watching the dreaded “delayed” marker flash next to flight, ordering another double Hendricks and soda.
An absolute mess when finally boarding.
But have you had experience with a drunken British surf flier recently?
Describe please.
Bazza McKenzie would drink those two freakish Poms and any other childish oafs under the table whilst asleep on row Z
As the resident Brit, frequent flyer due to stupid offshore career and excessive drinker I can confirm getting smashed pre Ryanair flight was a defining experience of most holidays.
The grumpy European pilot even said “this is an aeroplane, not a pub” on my recent flight to Faro. The lads on their way to a stag do all shout “WHEYYY” in response as only the English can do.
I always get grumpy when BA business class don’t have Drambuie, it was the Queen’s drink so they used to serve it as a matter of patriotism.
PS Brits do not drink gin and ‘soda’ it’s filthy (and they would never call sparkling water soda). Pre flight should always be Gordon’s Export and Fevertree tonic.
I remember coming back from Hawaii throught London from Hethrow to Gatwick via the tube, annoying the living shit out of the London Villagers with my boardbag and suitcases and shit. Clogging up the escalators etc. Must’ve annoyed them even more that I was straw-blonde from the sun, 27, lookin fit-as-fuck and kept getting drooling looks from a range of individuals not inconvenienced by my encumbrances. Not drunk unfortunately, because on the way out I’d had a couple of beers on the flight and suffered an almighty headache an hour later which put me off drinnking on flights for years afterwards.
Fuck man where were you livin ? The Shetlands
P.s. did you get a root?
Hangovers from inflight consumption are the worst.
” ENGERLUND, EN-GER-LUND!”
“BRITISH SURFERS FINGERED”
hope they were well lubricated
and why are the worlds drunkest fliers studying them while they’re being fingered?
Crazy times.
“the crew mutinied against Magellan…they were brazzies…then Shawn found AL..back the green ambasador…surfers again picked up the guitar…and the large church organ~~Church Lady!”
after making a delicious drink of 2 tiny bottles of bourbon and cola mix I proceeded to spill it all over a pretty lady I was next to. We were getting along fine before that. DAMN YOU TIGER AIRWAYS
tiny fucken legroom shit!
I’m glad you went down the toilet 🚻
double cheesey burger or?
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Makes me keen for a vodka tonic 🤤
So, I’ll just blame it on me heritage then I guess 🤷🏼♂️
At least they have an excuse. Americans will raw dog a flight and still have a hissy fit that someone used their overhead compartment.
Haha oh sometimes y’all don’t travel so well. I suggest a valium, administered to the bumhole of course.
Xox
What a fucken stupid ‘trend’ that is. Just sit like a cunt and rawdog shit. Wow. Read a book you flog. (Not you, but you know what I mean)
Haha! Fuck you Gil! I will raw dog your bumhole!
Xox
Take a ticket, love 😘
Hello ☺️
Xox
Symphony music unbelievably sync’s up with muted arguments….
bloody Mary hell
Hate to break this to you Chas old boy, but I don’t think Ryanair or EasyJet fly to many world-class surf destinations (sorry Portugal, sorry Canaries, sorry Moroc…. Ah fuck it.
If you want ‘Britain’ and ‘surf-adjacent’, try googling “Angela Rayner Ibiza Fisher”
Traveling and Drinking go hand in hand. Just like making sense of things and drinking. Yep.. Care for a pretzel?
saw 4 fights in one day at fort lauderdale airport. all of them involved angry Africans letting steam off at Spirit Airlines gate agents.
Whoever has the misfortune of flying ryanair is gonna end up disgruntled, drunk or sober, as everyone is treated like shit. That’s the real reason, not flight delays. That fucker CEO, just a greedy trash talking pig. Total wanker.
And obviously, ‘british people’ and ‘holidays’ is always a terrible combo.
50 mlg of phenergan and a bib is the bomb
I too would celebrate leaving England
Shouldn’t be allowed!
The non British luv it there
“British surfers fingered…”
When I saw this title, I had to check to see if Dogsnuts was the author. His strange bumhole obsession would make for raunchy reading.
Awwwww my fondness for bumhole’s is a great filter.
They are so neat.
Like you!
Xox
An airport bar is one of my favorite places in the whole world. I even make an effort to get to the airport early just so I can take full advantage.
I am so with you. They are, each, slices of paradise.
Heck you must be rolling in the dough to afford more than 2 Airport bar drinks.
Wanna buy any tall ladders for your (no doubt numerous) beachfront homes ?
Throw it on the plastic and worry about it later!
Any discount if I buy in bulk?
The only place where I’m not presumed to be an alcoholic for starting to drink at 6:00 a.m.
Drank a twelve pack in two minutes on the tarmac before I boarded a small prop plane in Northern Minnesota with bad weather on the horizon.
If only you had some tequila to chase that beer!
Coming out of the covid dynamic, travelers have made airport the bar scenes even more entertaining. My favorites has to be the hammered travelers jumping on early morning flights as flight attendants love these folks.