In most audacious spotlight grab yet, Kelly Slater seeks to eclipse Cocoa Beach’s beloved Surfing Santas!

"Global phenomenon" be damned!

If there is one thing that the world’s most decorated professional surfer loves more than world titles, it is attention. Yes, Kelly Slater was born for it. Model good looks through decades, a snappy mind filled to overflowing by a menagerie of unconventional thinkers, an appetite to spar with plebians on social media and a rarely seen knack for manhandling the spotlight when it begins to stray even slightly.

Who among us could forget when the much-loved Adriano de Souza won his first world title only to have Slater unveil his eponymous wave tank hours later? Or the time Joel Parkinson shared retirement news with Slater quickly sharing his own retirement news that never, in fact, materialized?

Well, in his most audacious attention grab yet, the 11x World Champion is attempting to steal the limelight from a beloved Florida institution. Yes, Slater will be appearing in Cocoa Beach in order to sign copies of his gorgeous new tome hours before the Surfing Santas hit the water for their whimsical tradition.

The annual event draws hundreds upon hundreds of surfers dressed as Santa Claus to Florida’s Space Coast wherein organizers declare, “What started out as a small, family day in Cocoa Beach has turned into a global phenomenon. People from all over congregate on Christmas Eve in Cocoa Beach to celebrate the holidays with Santa, friends and family. Whether you surf or you’re looking to join in the holiday spirit, there’s no other beach having this much fun on Christmas Eve!”

Slater, on the other hand, “will be in Cocoa Beach signing copies of his new book, A Life of Waves. The event will take place at Café Surfinista, 86 N. Orlando Ave., on Thursday, Dec. 19 from 5 p.m. – 8 p.m.”

Oh.

I suppose the two don’t really conflict at all and might provide synergies one to the other.

The question, now. If you live in Florida will you attend either the Surfing Santas event and/or Kelly Slater’s book signing?

Care to report back?

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Donald Trump surfing
Voynovskaya was a guest of Queer Surf, “a scrappy San Francisco-based org that gets queer and trans people riding waves” and describes the fear of huddling “together around the campfire in our puffer jackets and beanies, clutching mugs of tea. At neighboring campsites, Trump flags gleefully flew from RVs and pick-up trucks.”

Terrified LGBTQ surfers turn to Chinese tea ceremonies, glitter boots and muscle tanks as Trump presidency looms

“After watching Trump campaign run on an explicitly anti-trans agenda… the mood in Carlsbad was anxious.”

Spare a thought, as they say, for those queer surfers in the USA as billionaire businessman Donald Trump readies his troops to herd every LGBTQ surfer into vast concentration camps when he ascends to high office in January.

The associate editor of news outlet KQED, Nastia Voynovskaya, wrote about the fear felt in the bones of all queer surfers earlier today in her story, Queer Surfers Saved Me From a Stingray and Reminded Me of Hope.

Voynovskaya was a guest of Queer Surf, “a scrappy San Francisco-based org that gets queer and trans people riding waves” and describes the fear of huddling “together around the campfire in our puffer jackets and beanies, clutching mugs of tea. At neighboring campsites, Trump flags gleefully flew from RVs and pick-up trucks.”

In their little slice of Carlsbad clifftop, and wearing glitter boots, overalls, Tevas and muscle tanks, the dozen surfers “created a buoy of hope through a thousand simple acts of kindness.”

These included yoga classes, Chinese team ceremonies, tying each others’ hair into French braids and sharing poetry prompts.

On her third day, Voynovskaya stepped on a stingray although her new besties were quick to offer hot water and moral support.

“After that shocking encounter with nature, I felt grateful to be the recipient of such love and support. From my bestie, yes, and also from so many new friends. As queer people, many of us have a strong belief in collective care, in chosen families. In the way they showed up for me, that sense of solidarity wasn’t just a nice concept — I felt it deeply,” she writes.

More importantly,

“My time at Queer Surf Camp showed me that no matter what happens in 2025, personally or politically, we have each other, and we can create that sense of belonging and hope through a thousand simple acts of kindness.”

How does a queer surf camp differ from your experience at, say, Lakey Peak, G-Land or Mex?

Do you experience a similar level of connection or are you surrounded by, mostly, cunts?

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Filipe Toledo roasted by surf fans.
Filipe Toledo, roasted by surf fans.

Surf fans roast world champ Filipe Toledo on ten-year anniversary of first-ever CT win

"Seen random backpackers who can’t even do a roundy show up in Mex and charge harder than him."

Back in 2015, teenager Filipe Toledo rattled the windows of every surfer on tour when he easily despatched Julian Wilson in the final of the Quiksilver Pro, which was held in two-foot waves at Snapper Rocks. 

Filipe Toledo, who was nineteen, rammed a javelin into his opponent Julian Wilson, then twenty-six, by scoring two nines in quick succession before sealing the event, and his first-ever WCT win, with a deserved ten-pointer.

Total heat score, a near-perfect 19.60 to Wilson’s 14.70.

Since then, Toledo has won back-to-back world titles, both in two foot waves at Lower Trestles, but has publicly struggled in waves breaking over reef and exceeding six feet. 

In an Instagram post, the WSL celebrated the almost-ten year anniversary of Toledo’s first-ever tour win, running video of his waves along with the says-it-all caption, “Inspiring.” 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by World Surf League (@wsl)

Less inspiring was the response from hardened surf fans who were quick to point out the asterisks next to Toledo’s world title wins.

small wave world champion…. Has anyone seen a photo of Feleepe riding a wave over 8ft Hawaiian.

Has the personality and heart of a world champ. But he needs to trust his skills in big hollow waves. Medina and JJF are light years ahead of him. A world champ has to be the best in every condition…’

Flippy Toledo . Chopes etc we will see let’s all do the shoulder hop

The small wave champ!

Unbeatable when it’s tiny.‍♂️

unwinnable when it’s heaving

Now show his first Teahupoo comp footage

Top 99.99999% in 2-3 ft waves but not even in the top 2000 in waves of consequence. Seen random backpackers who can’t even do a roundy show up in Mex and charge harder than him. Let’s face it the guy wouldn’t have ever been a champ in the old format.

Question: let’s say you’re Filipe Toledo, or in the Toledo camp. Do you pretend the reputation for flaking at Teahupoo or Pipe doesn’t exist or do you confront it or studiously do everything you can to stop your boy being presented with the decision, to go or pull back?

More importantly, does history matter? Is legacy even a thing? Anyone under twenty know who Andy Irons is? Joel Parko?

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Watch Live: Day Two Vans Pipe Masters presented by Blak Bear Surf Club

No money, no problem!

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Wild and crazy meteorologists surf ice formation!

But who takes the heat?

Once upon a time, Jeep sponsored the World Surf League. The American-made off-road vehicle, wanting to appeal to professional competitive surfing’s fanbase, produced a commercial that aired much during surf competition broadcasts and featured Jeeps surfing roads, dunes, meandering pathways. In three words, surfing the world.

Well, a trio of wild and crazy meteorologists high atop New Hampshire’s Mt. Washington decided to take the delightful metaphor even further and surf “rime ice.”

The unique formations, which take the shape of waves, are created when water drips from fog collect on objects when temperatures are below freezing. The three climate scientists, Charlie Peachey, Alex Branton and Alexis George charmed the world by taking photos of themselves getting “barreled.”

Here’s Charlie Peachey…

Here’s Alexis George…

And here’s Alex Branton…

If this was a surf contest, who would take the heat? I feel like Charlie might have backdoored his section. Alexis has solid Brazilian style and Alex has little whiffs of Stephanie Gilmore. If an ice rime foamball monster appears, Alexis seems like she’ll stay on her board. Alex could get bucked. Charlie clearly has a knack for aggressive decision-making.

I guess I’m giving it to Alexis.

You?

Who wins according to your eye?

Mount Washington Observatory, it must be noted, is a “beacon for extreme weather data. It’s where a wind speed of 231 mph was measured in 1934, setting the record for the highest wind speed ever recorded in the U.S.”

Brrrrrrrrr.

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