Yellow alert!

Christmas might come early for surf fans with reports of “extremely dangerous and life-threatening” surf arriving to Oahu’s fabled North Shore over the next several days. Of course that guarantees some amusing social media footage of tourists getting swept rocks but also, and more importantly, might just might lead to a Surfing Super Bowl Sunday

Yes, organizers of the famed Eddie Aikau Big Wave Invitational have issued a yellow alert with the seventh day of the week, or first if one abides by the traditional order, being circled on calendars as possible go time.

Kohl Christensen, Koa Rothman, Kai Lenny and Kelly Slater each pulling rhino chasers from atop under-house beams and waxing with steely gazes toward the horizon.

While the brave invitees prepare, officials are warning unexperienced surf fans to exercise caution. Lt. John Hoogsteden of Honolulu Ocean Safety told Hawaii News Now, “The waves are life-threatening. This is serious surf that we are having. It looks like we are going to have the largest series of swells. I’m just asking people to stay away from the water. Stay away from the ocean and don’t go onto the sand.”

Amy Purdy, a visitor from Colorado, went to the famed Waimea Bay to see the arena herself but told the outlet, “You do have to be careful. We are standing out there and you don’t realize it’s (the wave) going to come over the berm where you are standing and then suddenly it does. I’m a scaredy cat so I ran off.”

“It’s kind of a bummer because we came all the way out from Waikiki to snorkel,” Alex Tao coming from San Francisco added. “I know nature is nature. I was hoping the waves would be way, way out over there and we could be over here where it’s a lot calmer.”

Well, sorry about it, Alex Tao.

The Bay Calls the Day.

Back to Slater, though. Do you think he has named his son yet or is elephant gun waxing getting in the way?

More as the story develops.

It's on!

World Surf League green bonafides put to the screws!

The World Surf League, as we know, has placed itself at the very forefront of marine-adjacent environmentalism what with its One Ocean initiative “aimed at protecting the ocean to preserve the future of surfing for generations to come. Working in collaboration with WSL’s non-profit partner, WSL PURE, WSL One Ocean engages fans and hosts event-based local impact projects throughout the WSL Championship Tour.”

Fans with eyes, though, or fingers that can decipher brail, are able to discern the vast hypocrisy what with a tour that randomly criss-crosses the globe, flotillas of carbon-spewing boats in channels but, mostly, two power-hungry wave pools gobbling off the grid like a Wright family accountant.

The latest, Surf Abu Dhabi in a Middle-Eastern desert.

Well, a non-World Surf League tub has just opened in an American desert and has revealed itself to be wildly green.

Revel Surf Park at Cannon Beach swung its gates wide open, two days ago, in Mesa, Arizona. The facility, which features diving platforms, an infinity pool and, of course, wave lake.

“I’ve thought often that Arizona would be the perfect state if we just had waves,” owner Cannon Cole Cannon shared with the local NBC affiliate. “A lot of gratitude. It’s been a long hot journey building out here,” he continued. “Since we broke ground 1,344 days ago we are officially open to the public and we’re very excited about that.”

While critics might decry the waste, especially in quickly drying Arizona, Cannon let it be known how shockingly environmentally friendly it all is thanks to a new, patented wave generating technology.

“My business partner Matt is heavily responsible for a lot of that,” Cannon carried on. “It’s a crew of about four of us who built it. We’ve been building the airplane while we’ve been flying at the same time, and we think we built something special.”

The technology runs on hydropower and the land it lies on used to be an alfalfa farm, the surf park chewing only about two percent of what the farm used.

“We consume about the same amount of water as one hole of a golf course. Our power is that of maybe two Corvettes for our entire wave machine,” Cannon declared.

One hole of a golf course and two Corvette engines.

How much water/power do you imagine Surf Abu Dhabi sucks?

More importantly, do you have plans to visit Mesa? Would you consider permanently relocating if, indeed, Arizona is now “perfect?”

The Grand Canyon State has a flat tax.

Very attractive.